Training with kids

[chris]

I'm struggling to ensure consistency in our house with our pup. My wife and I have two boys; an 8 and 6 year old. Our 5 month old puppy is incredibly high energy, completely one-minded and seemingly not interested in learning or following the rules.

I've never tried to train a puppy with kids in the house and I'm not sure if it is all of the family chaos in the house or the inconsistency of our interactions with her. I just know that I'm struggling to help her connect and fit into our family.

Any thoughts or advice would be helpful. Thanks.

[Diane Dolphin Rocker]

Sometimes it is harder to train your family how to react to the dog than it is to train the dog. But, you do have to train everybody. You mention consistency twice in your post...you've answered your own question! You really must start with the kids and how they react. My gaurdian family held a 'family meeting' to talk to the kids about their responsibility in helping the puppy to turn into a good dog. They used this time to get them really excited about how they are able to help 'shape' the puppy and it's behaviors. Then, for a while they even used a reward system for the kids to recognize good behavior from them! The puppy is just too young to understand mixed messages. Here is a really great book on just this subject: http://www.livingwithkidsanddogs.com/aboutthebook.html. Use the Amazon link in the left column...it's a lot cheaper. I feel bad for you because I can almost feel the frustration coming out of your post :)). I love that you are trying to make it work out. Also, look into a local trainer that could come to your house and give you pointers, it may seem expensive at first, but it is SO worth it to have a dog you can live with...Good luck!!

[38kijwn0b88tn]

Welcome to DK!
As a trainer in obedience classes, I have seen your frustration many times! I was with PetSmart training for a year (recently left to pursue photography jobs). We readily encouraged entire families to come to training classes because we are essentially training the humans how to train their dogs. We can't go home with you, so you must take what you learn in class and apply it at home. In my class I would take the time to teach your kids the hand signals we used for sit, down, and stay. Those three signals were very easy for the kids and the dog. Of course more is trained in the class, but if the kids can get the dog to sit, down, or stay on command, that's great!
Consistency is key, as you mentioned. The reason the dog is chaotic around the children is because she sees the kids as playmates or littermates. They are probably always running around, throwing balls/sticks for her etc. From day one there was no "pack" formed and so in her mind she has been set free to do what she pleases. I'm not sure what the website that Diane gave you says, and I know there's probably a lot of good info there, so read up on that. But you can also talk to your children about the "pack". There needs to be a main leader (you), but also the younger two can be "mini-leaders". Let them know it's up to them to help her grow up to be a good dog that doesn't bite, bark constantly, jump on them, etc.
A couple main things you need to remember: NUMBER ONE: she does NOT speak english, spanish, italian or any other language. The things you say to your pup are completely foreign to her! She needs to be taught was certain words/sounds mean for her to obey. Many people forget this and expect their pup to know what sit means. With language, treat her as you would your 6 year old. At 1 year old he didn't know what "stop crying and go to sleep" meant. Over time, he learned words and phrases. Dogs can't talk back to you either. That's a big reason why I liked PetSmart's curriculum for training. We trained with hand signals and voice commands, and I often talked about body language and things that many don't think about with their dog.
NUMBER TWO:
She is most likely teething right now. Which will make her want to chew on things, people, couches, etc! She may also choose not to eat because her gums and teeth hurt. And this is the worst of the first year, so hang in there!
I highly encourage you to bring your family to a place that offers training. Private trainers are good, but you won't get the socialization she needs at this point. With other dogs/people around she can learn to focus with distractions too. I don't know where you live, but check out PetSmart, their classes are great! Whereever you choose, or whoever you choose to help train your dog, make sure it's positive reinforcement, and that the trainer gets along with your family and dog!

Good Luck, feel free to message me with any questions!

[chris]

Thank you both. Your perspective and guidance is very helpful. I appreciate the time you took to help.

Actually, we are starting a Petsmart training class later this week, so I'm already encouraged about that. And I think that all of our involvment in that will be great. Thank you both again. I'll keep you updated on progress.

[38kijwn0b88tn]

Yay! glad to hear you're starting classes! I hope things go well!