Abby; a bit lonely?

[Krystle]

Hi everyone,
I have a miniature labradoodle named Abby. She's 6 and a half months old and we've had her since December.
She has always been easy to train and eager to please.
HOWEVER, she is very timid and attached. When we first chose her, we chose her because all the other dogs were picking on her and she was the most gentle of the litter. Even now, when we socialise her (which we have done since she was quite young) she tends to play with the little dogs and if any of them get a little bit too rough for her (which most other dogs can handle), she runs away and yelps or cowers at our feet. We always make an effort to make her feel comfortable and if she is too anxious or worried, we simply lead her away and play with her on our own.
My partner and I both work full-time and when I leave for work, I put Abby in the laundry (also where she sleeps at night) with access to the yard through a doggy door. Every morning, without fail, she cries and barks when I leave. My neighbours have told me that she stops after about 10 minutes and they dont hear her again for the rest of the day unless the neighbour's dog starts barking. In which case, she usually responds to it and has a little conversation. I never make a fuss when I leave. I simply pick her up, put her in the laundry and tell her she's a good girl before I shut the door. She has plenty of chew toys and balls but it doesn't interest her because she knows I'm leaving.
I recently read on a different forum, that when choosing the ideal puppy, he/she shouldn't be overly submissive as they can be the ones who give you the most trouble later. Has anyone else heard this or agree with it?
Would getting her a companion help her or is there any exercises we can run through with her to ease her anxiety a little?
My partner wants a male puppy in time to come, is now an ideal time for Abby to be introduced to another dog (of similar or smaller size) or should we just stick with our dear Abby?
Thanks in advance, and apologies for such a long winded enquiry!

[Tamara & Giada]

You know I really don't have any experience with dogs and anxiety, but I'd say if you want another dog, I'd get one. Two dogs are the best. Our older one was 6 when we got our second, and I wish we would have done it years sooner. She acts so much younger now, and I LOVE to watch them play. GL : )

[Noble Vestal Labradoodles]

This is true. The submissive ones can be harder.

The key is training and socializiation. Training will giver her confidence, I would take her through several levels of training and even go into agility.

I was sent a shy pup as a breeder, it took me a bit to work it out of her. Now she is very social. She would scream if another dog stepped on her as a pup, you would have thought she was being murdered.

[Adina P]

I agree about training. Training boosts confidence very nicely and will help her cope in various new situations.
Not sure that two dogs would be any easier on you, but perhaps if you know somebody with a gentle, well mannered dog who she can meet with regularly...maybe that might help her too.

However, if you and your partner both want a new puppy anyway, that might be okay. Just know that the second puppy may not potty train as easily and leaving them together (uncrated) may not be a good idea.

[LuvMyAbby&Kaela]

If you and your partner both work dont you think she is alone too much? Can you consider doggy daycare or someone to come by everyday to spend a couple of hours with her and take her for a walk.

[Krystle]

Thanks for all your responses.
We had a TERRIBLE night with Abby last night. She normally barks once or twice when we put her out and then goes to sleep. Last night, she sat outside our window and barked for about half an hour and then cried for the rest of the night. I am wondering if this is our fault for leaving her inside when we're home. Rather than putting her out for 20 minutes or so each day while we're home.
We definitely know that she's alone too much, LuvLittleAbby. We had an elderly neighbour who loved Abby as company for a couple of hours a day when we first got her. Unfortunately, our neighbour passed away about 2 months ago and there's no-one else near to us to pop in and see her during the day. I would love to be able to shorten my work hours to be with her longer but it's just impossible at the moment.
I've spent this morning researching doggie day care however there is none that service our area. I will keep an eye out for community boards that may have ads for a doggie walker.
Will another pup help entertain/comfort Abby or will they end up being lonely together?
We spend every minute we can with Abby when we aren't at work, and she gets trained for about 40 minutes every night, and gets taken on a 20 minute walk every afternoon.
I could get up earlier before work and take her for one in the morning also if it helps.
We just hate seeing her so anxious and upset. Not to mention listening to her cry last night. Makes me want to cry myself.
My partner has suggested getting her a companion and starting to crate train both of them together. Although it will upset Abby greatly to be caged, he thinks it may benefit her long term and give her a "safe haven" if she feels alone. Any thoughts on this idea?
Thanks again for your previous responses, it is greatly appreciated.

[LuvMyAbby&Kaela]

ok my thoughts:

Let her sleep in your room (in crate or out - whatever works) Limit her "alone" time as much as possible. Dogs need companionship and it is so hard on thir psyche to be left all the time.

Try really hard to find another babysitter/walker...even 2 hours would break up the solitary confinement enough to make a big difference. Put an ad in the paper to find one.

Personally I woud use getting a companion dog as a last resort because you might end up with 2 dogs with seperation anxiety.

My very first dog in 1985 was alone way too much, we both worked then and she just was never right after that....even after I became a stay at home mom. I think she was sensitive and we damaged her without meaning to. The 3 dogs that came after were so much better adjusted because they didnt have to be alone on a regular basis. If I had to do again I would have hired someone to keep Jodi company somehow.

[Adina P]

I agree although I faintly remember she's not 'outside' but on a porch or something like that?
Either way to me it makes most sense to have the dog near...I don't think she cares whether she has experience outside or not. Mine LOOOVE to play outside, sometimes even go and hang out there alone, but they wouldn't like being out there alone for all night.

You have some time...bring a crate inside and start feeding her meals in there. Then start throwing in treats and toys in there...let her explore. Close the door and start feeding treats through the crate bars...then open it up... practice so she goes in there willingly. In no time she'll be okay to be in her crate with you in your bedroom.

[Krystle]

Abby usually sleeps in the laundry (which has access to the backyard for her to go to the toilet) and this setup has worked fine up until now.
The only reason she is outside is because we have been told over and over by our puppy trainer, vet and other dog owners that we will have more behavioral problems if we allow her to sleep with us inside (especially on our bed).
She is allowed to sit on the bed with us if we are reading or relaxing but I'm constantly told she wont understand that we're leader if she sleeps with us or eats before us?
By all means, if everyone thinks it will benefit her sleeping inside, we can change things that way. But I don't think it will help her barking when we leave for work so I'll need to find something to help her during the day.
Ann, do you leave your dogs inside when nobody is home? I've often wondered if that's a good idea or not.
I must admit I'm probably naive about what Abby should have or needs because I've always had large, outdoor dogs, and none with anxiety issues. This is all very new to us, so we appreciate the info.

[Krystle]

Adina, just read your info on the crate and think it sounds like a good idea. Pete (my partner) is going to call by a pet store on the way home and get a crate so we can gradually introduce her to it.
I think the key here, as with most things 'puppy related' is just baby steps and more patience from us.

[Adina P]

That's interesting that all your local dog folks have advised her to not sleep in your room. Is that because she HAS behavioral problems or has shown certain signs of them? Or is that just the general consensus where you live?

And did they actually say to make her sleep OUTSIDE or simply not in your room.

My opinion is this: dogs are pack animals and prefer to be with their people..makes them happier. However, your sleeping arrangements need to work for YOU first, the dog second. All our dogs prefer to sleep near us and are quieter if they sleep in our room. However, they all sleep on the floor...nothing wrong with that. But they are near. They were fine when they were all in the living room together, but they would alert to any noise or visual disturbance outside and bark and that would wake us up. In our room they don't see/hear outside things so they sleep soundly.

I think the main thing with where to let a dog sleep is about their temperament, their training and making sure the dog understands THEY don't get to choose ... but they must wait for your permission to invade your space (bed, etc).

I leave our dogs inside when we are not home. At first the younger ones were crated, but now that they have graduated from crates they are free to roam in the living room and our bedroom. They spend their day mostly sleeping.

If Abby does indeed have separation anxiety (and if she does it does not sound too severe since she DOES stop barking after a few minutes) I don't think that where she sleeps at night will have any impact on that.

[Krystle]

I'm not sure why everyone over here says not to allow the dog to sleep with you, or where they get the idea from but generally, everyone's dogs in my area (western sydney, australia) sleep on dog beds in the laundry or patio area and there's usually no problems with doing so.
Perhaps we've just done that too early for her and maybe she should be inside with us at night. I'm not sure but we'll start working on a new setup tonight and see how we go.
We have always made Abby sit and stay before we allow her on the bed so she knows not to just jump up whenever SHE likes.
She has slept on our bed overnight previously and she is always well-behaved and if she needs to go to the toilet, she'll hop down herself and walk on outside.

[LuvMyAbby&Kaela]

Excuse my bluntness but it sounds like the people giving you advice are harsh indeed. You are not trying to raise an attack dog. Not all dog trainers are correct, somebody trained the Dobermans of the Nazi's.

Throw away that advice. There is a great book by Tamar Gellar called "The Loved Dog". Love and consideration will get you a lot father to the end result of a happy well-adjusted adult dog than miilitant ways. Just like children.

My dogs started off sleeping in my room (in a crate until they were fully potty trained). Then they slept wherever they wanted (but not on the beds). They are/were left in the house when I have to go out. Abby is penned off in the kitchen with her crate (open) toys and special treats because she isnt mature enough to have the run of the house. Bailey has the run of the house of course (he is 12).