Agression in doodles

[Jill Holder]

I have a 2 yr old golden doodle who occasionally shows agression toward other dogs (tail is up and he lunges or snaps at them).  He also has occasionally bit my kids or growl at them if they jump on him.  I cannot have a dog who shows any type of aggression whatsoever.  I will work with a trainer but if I cannot get this remedied then I will have to - sadly - get rid of him.  Anyone else had this problem and what their solution was???  Most of the time, Max is a friendly dog.  He just needs some training.   Thanks!

[Colleen, Jake & Baxter]

Sadly, most of the doodles I foster are re-homes that come from households where their are young children.  The parents did not have the time to follow through on training the doodle yet expected the doodle to have perfect behavior.....

  I sincerely hope that you will follow through on training your doodle.  I did not expect my children growing up to be consistent in their behavior unless my husband and I followed through to make sure they were doing what was expected of them.  Dogs are the same way. 

There has been lots of good advice on here.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

And sadly, many of the doodles who are rehomed through the DRC were originally obtained as a kind of living toy for the children, and not because the adults (who originally took responsibility for the dog by simply purchasing him) really wanted a dog themselves. Then, when the dog does not allow himself to be a toy, he has no purpose in the household. :(

[Doris, Knox & Flash]

Oh, Jill!  I am sorry to read this post!  You were one of my very first "friends" on DK two years ago!  Max and Knox are just about the same age and we were both dealing with puppy issues.  I remember you having problems with a bit of aggression back then.  I'm sure your girls keep you so busy and leave you with little time for DK, but I have often thought about you and have checked your page occasionally, wishing for an update or a picture.  I hope you will go thru some more training with Max for him to learn what's expected from him.  Consistency with him is just as important as it is with your girls.  I see that you live fairly close to Laurie and that she is going to provide you with the names of a few trainers.  I really think that's going to be your answer! 

Please post some pics of Max when you can!  I'd love to see how big and beautiful he must be!

[Jill Holder]

Hi Doris and thank you for reaching out to me!!  As you can see I am very busy and have not even updated my doodle page in ages!!!! I have 2 little girls - ages 3 and 5 and they keep me soooo busy.  Which leads to why I am still having issues with Max.  I did hire a personal trainer about a yr ago but we got so busy and never followed thru and so we are still having the same issues.  My girls are very good with Max and I never meant to say they jump on him....they just play with him and sometimes he growls at them. And he can be aggressive towards other dogs.  Anyway, I hve gotten over 5 pages of responses and am overwhelmed.  Some of the responses have been very nasty!!  I wish I would not have posted and started this discussion!  Anyway, what I have learned is that I HAVE to find the time and make an effort to get him trained NOW!!  I need to get off the boat and just do it.

Anyway, I hope you are doing well and sorry I have not been on here.  I will try and update my page with some new info and new pics soon - its been way too long!!! 

[BG and Gavin]

I don't think that people are trying to be nasty, but just trying to hold you accountable to your dog, especially since it is a problem identified early on.  In your initial post your words suggested that you were externalizing a bit ( for example "he needs some training" instead of "I need to train him.")  In later posts you stepped up and took responsibility for not following through earlier despite the fact that you are a busy mom.  Plus the threat that you will have to get rid of him certainly inflames some of us (especially those who work with rescues that have heard this story dozens of times).  I know that sometimes I need a kick in the butt to get going on certain things (and its usually my mom that does it, even at 80 yrs old, because she always levels with me and makes me accountable when I need it.)  I think you needed a bit of that.  So please take it for what it is worth and make the call to the trainer.  Remember a journey begins with one step.  Keep stepping until it becomes a habit.  You can do it!!  This dog needs you to do it!

[K and Racey]

well said Andrea.

[Adina P]

Jill, if you have family nearby or a trusted babysitter, consider having that family (or paying the sitter) to watch your girls for 30-60 min a day so you can put in the time to train your dog 5 days a week.  I KNOW little kids are time consuming.  I've got a 2 y.o. and 8 month old and there's not much extra time in the day. Luckily I got basic on leash training taken care of with my youngest doodle before I had baby #2.  Anyway, when I was in the middle of training Boca and my oldest child was just over a year, I sometimes would pay the sitter to watch her a little longer after work so I could take Boca, the pup, out for training before I picked up my daughter.  It worked out GREAT and I worked it out in my head that it was actually cheaper for me to pay a sitter here and there when my husband couldn't watch my daughter, than it was for me to pay for a training class.  (I follow a really great program and don't take my doods to obedience classes, but I have a little more experience and knowledge than you so I would still recommend classes or a trainer for you). 

Anyway, just a suggestion.  If you have family near than a little extra baby sitting wouldn't cost you anything but paying a little for childcare even if twice a week is worth it rather than have NO time to train your dog. 

[Shannon and Finn]

Jill, I think you are doing absolutely the right thing by reaching out.  I said it earlier, but will say it again...it's hard to be a mom.  period.  We will never be perfect no matter what we do!  Time flies and sometimes I think to myself, "I meant to do this ages ago, where did the time go?!"  Don't beat yourself up or feel like all hope is lost, if you are open to doing the training again I think that is great and there are lots of options, but ultimately you need to do what is right for your family and that doesn't make you a bad person.  I am sure there are lots of people on the boards that will have advice and understanding regardless of your choice.  I have been using some advice I found in an article about training your dog to tolerate hugs, it's kind of like teaching them any trick or behavior.  This is at the top of my list since I think our family dog needs to learn to tolerate some uncomfortable situations without aggression just as my children need to learn to respect the dogs personal space.  Sounds like you have been actively seeking training from the start so you likely have a great foundation, not to mention you have young children which also makes you a bit of a behavior expert!  Again, good luck and hopefully you can feel this is a safe space to ask for help and everyone will respect that too.  I was surprised at the reactions that came out of your post and it makes me feel a little insecure about asking for help too.  It's like going to play groups and just praying that your children don't do anything bad in front of other moms!  BTW, I have had my child pee in the yard in front of people even though we are very competent parents who have taught our children not to relieve themselves in public or the yard!

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

This is definitely a safe place to ask for help. Everyone here is very eager to help anyone who is having any kind of problem with their dog, and I think that's evident if you read through the discussions here. We think of each other as our "DK family", and we are extremely supportive of each other.

But it's also a place where we feel very passionate about our dogs being family members, and very passionate about responsible dog ownership. And this is also a place where we are very supportive of and involved with doodle rescue, and have had our hearts broken by story after sad story of doodles who lost their homes through no fault of their own. We have seen too many cases of dogs who were blamed and abandoned simply for doing things that they had never been trained not to do. Mentioning "getting rid of" a dog before any attempt has been made to correct the problem rubs most of us the wrong way.

 Nobody here was forced to get a puppy. Busy moms with little kids made a choice to bring a puppy into their busy home. Having made that choice, there is a commitment and an obligation to this innocent creature who had no choice in the matter, and is dependent on the person who owns him to help him do the right things. "Doing what's right for your family" includes the dog, who is a member of that family. The dog has nobody else.

I don't think anyone here has been nasty, Honest, yes. Brutally honest, maybe. But everything that was said was said out of concern for the dog and the family, and in response to what was originally posted. Getting rid of the dog was mentioned. Kids jumping on the dog was mentioned. Ownership of the problem was not mentioned. Those things are what provoke responses that may have seemed nasty, and not a request for help. Nobody needs to be afraid to ask for help.

 

[K and Racey]

Doing what's right for your family, as well as the dog, also includes deciding whether or not it is best for the dog to stay in your home. 

If this is supposed to be a safe place, rather than go on the attack when someone says something we don't agree with we should offer help.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

I do not see any attacks here, Kort. I see people trying their best to offer help and advice. The advice may not always be what a person wants to hear, but it is well-meant and sincere, and far from an attack.  

[Sherri, Sophie, Winston, & Kitty]

Karen, you have made some really great points here. This is really well said.