At my wit's end, just want training to work!!

[Jess & Stewart]

I'll be the first to say it. I'm a bad owner and I think Stew's the boss.

He has been horrible this week.

I should title this discussion, STEW WON'T.

-go near his crate,

-come when called,

-handle brush/mat removal; he backs away when I try to brush him and screams if I hit a mat, even if I'm brushing gently and giving praise/treats

-let me leash the Easy Walk without trying to bite it

-follow me into the bedroom at bed time

-get off the couch when asked

-ask (sit/down, trick) to jump onto the couch/bed

-give up anything in his mouth with growling

-eat his stuffed kongs during the day

-stop screaming/barking when I leave for the day

-stop barking anytime he wants my attention

I've tried redirecting the barking and being firm with commands so that he follows them, but he's being totally onery. The past two days he has not eaten any of his breakfast from the Kongs and he'll eat them when my friend comes over at lunch time to play/walk him. He was getting MUCH better with being in the crate. I'd leave for work to no noise at all and come home to some crazy barking but it lasted 2 minutes tops. He's also started not following me to bed, or if he does as soon as I shut my bedroom door he cries and scratches to get out and won't listen to me when I try to redirect. There is also nothing to tether him to at night, I have ikea nightstands that he'd probably knock over and no door handles on my closet/bathroom to hook him to.

I feel like I've just been horrible to him, because I mainly redirect him then given him something to chew in hopes to quiet him. I'm sure he's not getting enough energy but he also seems lazy. He won't chase after anything or really play, he prefers to just hoard the toys and chew on them. I have to run around with the toy at his mouth level and act crazy to get him engaging with me to play. He does great on his walks and stays right by me though. I walk him at least an hour morning and when I get home, then smaller bathroom walks at night also.

I feel AWFUL being frank with a trainer and just saying that I really can't take it, even though I understand it takes time to change behaviors. I just want something to work as a basis that he just snaps right to attention and thinks "WHOA, MOM REALLY WANTS ME TO DO THIS OR STOP THIS". Even if that just happens once, then I KNOW he's listening, getting it.

My family keeps telling me I need to assert myself and have Stew think "man, I made mom really mad and she's letting me know she's the boss. They want me to just whack him once when he gets really nippy, growling, snapping and he'll learn that's not ok. I'm not ok doing that, but also not ok with how things have been going. I've started a new job and barely have time to think, let alone arrange training classes for after work. I can't find any near me on a weekend day.

[Robin and Libby Louise]

I'm not the most experienced person here to give you advice, but DO NOT listen to your family's pleas to whack him.  That is 100% the wrong tactic.  I forget how old Stew is at this point, but he's still pretty young, correct?  Has your routine changed with your new job?  I know he's been difficult and you are feeling totally frustrated but you have to be strong and committed even more at this point.  I am in South Jersey - I think you are in the Philly area too.  I know of a few places near me, but am not sure where you are.  So sorry Stew is acting up!!!!!

[Jess & Stewart]

I'm in Philly.I spend weekends in South Jersey-near Vineland, Deptford, sometimes Voorhees etc. I'm not sure where in South Jersey you are.

Yes, I'm 100% against whacking him. A firm NO, does absolutely nothing, so I'm not sure what a good "don't do that" tactic is. I feel like trainers just judge me when I say I want something to work! I'm completely mystified by him not wanting to eat his food though. He eats it slowly when my friend is there to take him out at lunch time. Then doesn't go to the bathroom at lunch and will go when I come home. The past 4 days he's only gone 1 a day!

He's getting groomed tomorrow afternoon, he has long, long hair, so I wonder if he's really hot- he hasn't had any mats ever until this week that appeared overnight from the easy walk harness and he will NOT let me brush or cut them out. I cut out a few bad spots but he growls and snaps like you wouldn't believe. I screamed NO so loud last night, you would have thought I was being robbed. That got his attention until I went to start brushing again. I eventually gave up.

[Robin and Libby Louise]

I'm in Mt. Laurel and my sister lives in Bridgeton, near Vineland.  I will get the number of the place we took Libby when she was young, I think it was on 73 maybe still in Voorhees, towards Berlin.  They were pretty good.  I also have the number of someone who does in-home training, well, Libby's mom has it and I will get it for you.  Libby hates being brushed, too.  And she's 7 - never liked it and never will.  Luckily she doesn't mat too badly but if she did we wouldn't be able to brush her out.  So you're not alone in that one!

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

A lot of dogs don't eat when they are alone, they like companionship. That's a minor thing.

Jess, there is absolutely no training method or "tactic" that works immediately, or works by itself. It is your implementation of the training that makes it work. It takes constant repetition and consistency, every day, every time. Working together with the dog on a daily basis builds a bond, establishes trust, and helps you communicate.

The trainers are not judging you, but they may be frustrated, because training never "works" like taking a pill, i.e. take this pill ( do this, or say that), and your headache will get better ( the dog will do what you want and stop doing what you don't want).  That just never happens. The only way to resolve these issues is to spend time working with Stew, playing with Stew, and grooming Stew every single day, no matter how tired or busy you may be. This is the simple reality of having a puppy, especially a large, intelligent, sporting breed puppy.  

It really sounds to me like the bond, the trust, and the communication between you and Stew is not what it needs to be. This is not a judgment of you, it's not criticism of you, it's not telling you that you are a bad owner, it's just information being offered in an attempt to help. It also sounds like Stew is not getting enough exercise, i.e. a chance to really, really run and wear himself out, on a regular basis. This is so important. Dogs don't usually play by themselves either. 

His being hot is also not the reason for any of this. 

You need to find a trainer or a training program that seems right for you and for Stew, and then you need to follow it exactly, consistently, and daily. 

Good luck, I really hope you get things turned around. 

[Joani, Skadi & Elli]

well said

[Bren & Reagan]

I too agree....I would just like to throw one thing in about the brushing.  Bindi didn't like to be brushed and what worked for her was to wait until evening when she was tired and laying on the floor.  I would come to her and start off just giving her lots of petting all over and use fingers like a comb.  I always had a brush hid under the sofa where she laid on the floor and little by little snuck it out.  Granted, she was much younger....but still clever and it took a few weeks.  I was very careful to brush her like I patted her for while and she warmed up.  I always did it every evening.  

I would give other advice, but I did so with Bindi very young so the approach would be different as they would at 9 months.  

Much luck!  Great advice always found here.  You can do it!  Keep telling yourself that...occasionally you may want to lock yourself in the bathroom and say it over and over....ha.

Bren

[Ricki and Tara (doodle)]

Wow, you have a lot of issues but really it does come down to the one issue of you being in charge of every area of Stew's life. If you missed the Doggy Dan training webinar hosted by Adina and Clark recently I would encourage you in investigate his site and methods.

http://theonlinedogtrainer.com/

His is a gentle and humane training method that works and since it is on video you can attend "class" at your convenience. I really believe it would be well worth the cost for your situation. I think it is something like $37.00 a month. You also have access to his forum where you can ask specific questions about your situation. You can also try it for 3 days at no charge which gives you an opportunity to look through the videos and get a feel for it.

I also want to add that at 9 months old, which I think is Stew's age, Tara was a hellion. OMD!! She wouldn't obey commands and tried to bite me. It is a difficult age for many puppies and puppy owners. Think "teenager".  If you are not already doing it I encourage you to keep him on a leash at home. I did this with Tara and it gives you the upper hand when commands are not being obeyed. If he's on the couch and won't get off you can quickly remove him,if he doesn't come when called you, again, can grab the leash and enforce your request, etc.  This isn't the answer to your training issues but was helpful for me in conjunction with training.  And I can say that with Tara, one I had a good training method, it still took time, repetition and patience before she became consistent with her responses. At times I thought she would never get it but within a few months she calmed down and really became a pleasure to live with. Hang in there girl!!  Remember that many of the things we ask our dogs to do are completely foreign to them in the dog world...don't bite, don't chew, don't run.. these are things dog do!! He's  just a baby, keep up the good work and PLEASE consider Doggy Dan as a trainer!

[F, Calla & Luca]

Good advice.

[Robin and Libby Louise]

Jess, perhaps the online training is a good solution for you.  And the leash.   But I will still get those numbers for you so you can make the right choices for you.  And I do agree with Karen's assessment - you have to do these things everyday.  Libby was always a good dog, generally, so her displeasure at being brushed seemed minor to her mom.  If she were mine, I would have been more assertive on a daily basis so that she knew that it was something that was going to happen whether she liked it or not.  And she probably would have grown to like it!  I have faith you can prevail!

[Lucy & AnnaBelle's Mom]

I completely agree with the suggestion to the online dog trainer!  This will be an initial investment of $38.  You can get 3 day trial for $1 and then $37 for the first month.  If you don't see improvement in that month you can cancel.  I personally have to say that IF you watch the first videos on the 5 Golden Rules and institute those rules, if you don't see dramatic changes in a month then you aren't following through.  I have been doing this for a couple weeks now with my 6 y/o and 1 y/o doodles and the results are AMAZING!  Perfect, no, but still amazing.  I've been through multiple (hundreds of dollars worth of training classes) and his methods just click.  They make sense to me.  In this two weeks we have gone from not being able to put toddlers down in our home because the girls were too rowdy to this week we have 3 kids in the house, 9, 3 and 1 y/o with no problems.  We just followed the guidelines set forth and bam, success.  

[Carol and Banjo]

Wow!   If that isn't a great testimonial, I don't know what is.   I'm looking it to it now.   Banjo is wonderful with little ones....but not so wonderful keeping out of things that don't belong to him.   What do you think?   Will we benefit?

[Stephanie and Ragley]

I, too, have been trying my best to stick to Doggie Dan's rules and implement some of his methods and have seen great improvements- especially with our pyr who thinks she is the almighty protector of the house. I think it is worth it even for just one month to be able to practice the 5 golden rules