At my wit's end, just want training to work!!

[Jess & Stewart]

I'll be the first to say it. I'm a bad owner and I think Stew's the boss.

He has been horrible this week.

I should title this discussion, STEW WON'T.

-go near his crate,

-come when called,

-handle brush/mat removal; he backs away when I try to brush him and screams if I hit a mat, even if I'm brushing gently and giving praise/treats

-let me leash the Easy Walk without trying to bite it

-follow me into the bedroom at bed time

-get off the couch when asked

-ask (sit/down, trick) to jump onto the couch/bed

-give up anything in his mouth with growling

-eat his stuffed kongs during the day

-stop screaming/barking when I leave for the day

-stop barking anytime he wants my attention

I've tried redirecting the barking and being firm with commands so that he follows them, but he's being totally onery. The past two days he has not eaten any of his breakfast from the Kongs and he'll eat them when my friend comes over at lunch time to play/walk him. He was getting MUCH better with being in the crate. I'd leave for work to no noise at all and come home to some crazy barking but it lasted 2 minutes tops. He's also started not following me to bed, or if he does as soon as I shut my bedroom door he cries and scratches to get out and won't listen to me when I try to redirect. There is also nothing to tether him to at night, I have ikea nightstands that he'd probably knock over and no door handles on my closet/bathroom to hook him to.

I feel like I've just been horrible to him, because I mainly redirect him then given him something to chew in hopes to quiet him. I'm sure he's not getting enough energy but he also seems lazy. He won't chase after anything or really play, he prefers to just hoard the toys and chew on them. I have to run around with the toy at his mouth level and act crazy to get him engaging with me to play. He does great on his walks and stays right by me though. I walk him at least an hour morning and when I get home, then smaller bathroom walks at night also.

I feel AWFUL being frank with a trainer and just saying that I really can't take it, even though I understand it takes time to change behaviors. I just want something to work as a basis that he just snaps right to attention and thinks "WHOA, MOM REALLY WANTS ME TO DO THIS OR STOP THIS". Even if that just happens once, then I KNOW he's listening, getting it.

My family keeps telling me I need to assert myself and have Stew think "man, I made mom really mad and she's letting me know she's the boss. They want me to just whack him once when he gets really nippy, growling, snapping and he'll learn that's not ok. I'm not ok doing that, but also not ok with how things have been going. I've started a new job and barely have time to think, let alone arrange training classes for after work. I can't find any near me on a weekend day.

[Ricki and Tara (doodle)]

Carol, we've seen improvement in a short period of time using DD's methods for the problem of Tara barking out the window.  If used faithfully, I think you will benefit. :)

[Carol and Banjo]

Sounds like it a great program.

[F, Calla & Luca]

I watched a lot of videos over three days and made some changes. I have seen improvement too.

[Linda, Charlie Brown and Beau]

Carol ~ I sat in on the webinar and joined for two months.  I really think he is a terrific trainer.  Both Charlie and Beau have done several obedience courses and on a whole are very good boys.  Our home has a 3 - 4 ft brick fence around the entire yard and we look down the hill onto a small cul de sac.  Whenever UPS, USPS, or garbage truck roll into the cul de sac, they jump up on the fence to see what is happening down in the street and bark.  If they think the ups driver is going to walk up our long driveway, they start running back and forth excitedly to see if he is coming!  It was driving me crazy.  I would tell them quiet and if they listened, I treated them!  OMD!  After viewing the Doggy Dan video on unwanted barking, I did exactly what he said.  I got up off the chair on the patio, walked over to the fence where they were barking, and calmly said thank you and walked away.   First time I did it, they followed me back to the love seat on the patio and sat down with me!  Blew me away!  If you tell them thank you and they start to follow you but run back and bark, you go back and look again and tell them thank you.  If one of them barks a 3rd time, that dog get a time out in the house alone.  I have not had to time out either one of them!  It worked like a charm for us.  Also Charlie is an avid TV watcher and he waits for every dog in every commercial and runs up to screen and barks.  I used to sit on the couch and tell him quiet.  But after Doggy Dan said to get my butt up from the couch and go see what they are barking about and then say thank you and go back and sit down, we no longer have the tv issue either! LOL  I am so thrilled - I never would have thought it was that simple.  It is really all about being the leader!

[Ricki and Tara (doodle)]

Linda this is exactly what we are doing with Tara at the window. It really is amazing how quickly it works!

[F, Calla & Luca]

You have worked on thievery same issues that I have : )

[Jess & Stewart]

This week especially I feel like Stew doesn't even like me. He doesn't come to me, sit by me, nothing. He also doesn't stay engaged in play with me, the way the trainer told me to play with him. Although, if we're with others, he freaks out when I leave him, even to go into another room. Then when I return he runs to me, like he hasn't seen me in days.

He has learned attention seeking behaviors, which I'm trying to redirect, but other than that, it's like he can't be bothered. I think the only thing he does consistently great is sitting and waiting until I release him to walk through doors. Part of me thinks he isn't very high energy because 3/4 of the time, he acts like he can't be bothered. I would think he'd love me engaging him since it's just him & I. He loves my Dad however and will sit on him all day long.

[Ricki and Tara (doodle)]

Tara has always had very defined high and low energy times of the day. Mornings and evenings she wants to play, retrieve, etc but during the bulk of the day she is a couch potato.  Also, she doesn't sit on our laps much at all but if a complete stranger comes to the house she is all over them wanting to be held.  Each dog has their own personality and things they like and dislike.  Tara does not follow me around the house or sit on my lap much but she knows where I am and what I am doing all the time. I've learned from Doggy Dan that some of the things I liked in dog behavior were actually unhealthy behaviors in them. :(

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

I had a friend across the street who passed away last fall after a long battle with cancer. She and her husband had adopted an adult schnauzer mix some years earlier, Ace, who went to work with them every day.

My friend was the dog person; her DH had not grown up with dogs, had never owned a dog, and didn't particularly care about dogs one way or the other. Ace, the adopted schnauzer mix, was her dog. She was the one who fed him, walked him, took him to the vet & the groomers, and she was the one he followed, sat near, slept near, kissed, greeted first, etc. She was his person. 

During the year preceding her death, my friend was in and out of the hospital and then confined to bed at home. This bed was on the main floor of the house, as she couldn't climb stairs. Ace continued to go to work with her husband every day. Because my friend wasn't ambulatory, her DH also walked Ace, fed Ace, and took him where he had to go. 

When he got home from work, Ace would go greet his mom, but then go hang out with his new person, the person who was now clearly in charge of his care, the non-dog person, his dad. At bedtime, Ace slept upstairs with his dad. His mom felt bad about it, but she was a very experienced dog owner, so she understood. She knew that a dog is going to attach to the person who seems to be in charge. :) 

[Jess & Stewart]

Stew probably thinks he's his own person. LOL.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Then he's in trouble. :( 

[Joani, Skadi & Elli]

Exactly right...the owner needs to be the pack leader...in charge...this alleviates the stress and anxiety a dog can develop from having to be "on guard" all the time.