Autism and Puppy/Dog/Doodle

[Ed]

Can anyone with children with special needs share your experience with your doodle and the response from your child? Did the child adjust immediately to having a animal, was it a difficult transition? We are looking for a Doodle for our 7 year old non-verbal autistic, he is very mild autistic and loves electronics and trains, riding bikes, driving his powerwheels etc. We have no animals and although we've had him around animals, I cannot be sure how he would respond to have one living with him since hes not a touchy feely type of kid, can you share your experiences?

[Nicky, Riley & Boris]

There are lots of posts and discussions from parents of children who have new puppies who have major problems with puppies doing what puppies do normally, biting, jumping, piddling and pooping, oh and chewing and crying etc etc...What I am trying to say is that it is hard to bring a puppy (any puppy, never mind a high energy Doodle) into a family with young children.  It can and does work but only with commitment, lots of time and training (which is not cheap).  Puppies are not predictable in their minute to minute behavior.  One minute they can be asleep the next zooming around like a whirling dervish!!

Is there any way you can do a reality check...find a family with a puppy and borrow it for a day? you would soon see what the challenges might be.  I once did this with one of my children who at the age of 9 'wanted'a Boxer.  We 'borrowed' one for the day and within a couple of hours she changed her mind. (Mine was already made up lol)  It's really great that you are asking all the right questions before you make any decision. The more homework you do the better the chance that you will be able to make the right choice for your family and of course for your son.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Don't forget the problem of puppies eating the objects that young children leave around: toys, socks, crayons, paper of all kinds, gum and other toxic foods, any of which can lead to a visit to the emergency vet and a $2000 surgical bill, or worse.
I think probably the typical puppy nipping has been the most difficult aspect for families with puppies and kids.

[Shannon and Finn]

We were thinking on the same lines, you beat me on the post! Nipping and stealing toys are challenging and a full-time job in training for a while.

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

I have a 26 year old son with Down Syndrome.  Over the years he's had many autistic friends, and now his best friend has autism.  He's grown up with dogs, and never been particularly fond of them.  Frankly, the dogs were for me, not him.  I would say he tolerates having the dogs in the house and has learned to deal with them.  His autistic buddy wants nothing to do with the dogs....I think he is actually fearful of them.  When he's here, we keep the dogs away from him.  Before you take this step I would definitely expose your son to dogs to see how he responds.  You know him, and you'll be able to tell if he gets overly excited or fearful.  I would definitely not chose a puppy.  I think all that excited puppy energy with the jumping and nipping would be difficult for any child like your son to handle.  Good luck and let us know what you decide.

[Shannon and Finn]

I think well-trained dogs can be great for kids but ditto that it is a lot of work to train any dog and you will need to do training in your alone time so consider if you have the time to work one on one with the dog. Ditto also that you may want to consider exposing your son to a dog regularly in your home and then look at an older dog who has been through assistance training. I have a friend looking into a companion dog for her autistic son but they have always had dog pets in their home and they are looking for a specific dog to alert them if their son escapes the house for example.. My kids struggle with puppy energy and nipping sometimes so that could bring fear into your son, puppies like to steal toys and don't respect personal space much either! If the dog gets into his space for example, would your sons reaction be to swat or push him, if so then you will have extra work. Its great that you came here for advice. Personally our goldendoodle puppy is very chill most of the time and I wouldn't say he is high energy at all, although we had a lab mix before and he was very high energy as a puppy so maybe I am desensitized! Maybe consider dog-sitting for a friend and see how it goes as well.

[Ed]

My wife is home all the time, so we would absolutely be taking responsibility for the pup/dog, we are not getting this animal just for our son, it is more like a family member for us , we don't plan to have anymore children and have not had a dog in 6 years, so we miss having that sweet face around.

Can I ask your opinion?

We spoke with a breeder who has a litter of pups,they are willing to keep the pup til its 4 months old, we will pay them extra money and they will have a professional trainer come in and also take it to obedience classes to have training done prior to it coming to our home, can you please tell me what you think of this?

[Shannon and Finn]

I totally understand the value of having a dog in the house, it can be a great thing for dog lovers and families.  I was thinking about this discussion (while I was steam cleaning my rugs post house breaking and getting a sand box toy from Finn's mouth).  A few thoughts:

A 4 month old puppy is at it's most active and "naughty!"  We have to do a lot of specific things all day like keeping all doors closed in the house so we can keep an eye on him at all times.  Toys must be picked up constantly and many are sacrificed to puppy teeth still, they are quick.  Kids can't have snacks anywhere where the dog can get them (even the edge of the table).  This really annoys the kids because he will swipe anything given the chance, crayons and blocks and puzzles included.  The house is puppy proofed meaning cords, small items, shoes, clothes, bath toys, small garbage cans, toilet paper etc. cannot be on the ground or low to the ground.  The kids can't play with things on the floor unless I put the dog in another room. The dog goes with us almost anywhere when we leave so he can be socialized and also because they can't be crated for long.  The kids can't run around when the dog is free because it leads him to want to chase and nip them, so I have to tether him if they want to play running games or ride bikes in the back.  If I fill the kid pool, Finn is in it with them unless I tether him to me while they play.

If this change in routine would upset your son, that's something to think about.

The kids really don't like it when Finn nips, he is just playing but he does get them good sometimes since his teeth are sharp.  That can be scary to kids and we do a lot of kid and puppy training to prevent it.  Finn also is very happy to see us when we get home or if you come in the room after a few minutes (he doesn't have a great sense of time yet) and that means he will be licking, jumping and bouncing or rubbing against our legs for a minute.  Some kids like it and some don't.

I definitely think you will need a lot of personal trainer help in your home if you decide to get a dog, no matter the age.  It's expensive to do this but puppies have a lot of learning to do and it takes a ton of time.  IMO, realistically speaking, a 4 month old puppy with lots of training is still a little baby and won't be a calm, well-behaved dog.  They are still very immature. Be prepared for a lot of work and money invested for in home training related to the specifics of your house and routine and needs.  They learn and unlearn rapidly.  I am not saying that you shouldn't get a dog.  Don't get me wrong, Finn is a wonderful addition to our family.  I am just telling you how it is in our house with a 4 1/2 month old puppy and kids (and we have always had a dog in the house).  It's a lot of fun and a lot of work and frustration at times, it's adding another "child" for me since he is in his toddler stage so I am never able to relax unless Finn and the kids are asleep.  I recommend that you still consider a grown, mature dog that you can train without having the normal puppy behavior to contend with, although I really don't know your son and how he would feel about being licked, nipped, rubbed against, laid on, sniffed, jumped on etc. I appreciate having a dog more than the kids do at this point because he isn't a companion to them yet and won't be for a while since he has a lot of training and maturing to do before he or the kids can be trusted together. Puppies are puppies, for better or worse!  It all comes down to how much time and energy you have and want to invest in raising a puppy.

[Lori, Rooney & Zuzu]

I agree with Shannon that while a lot can be accomplished between the ages of 8-16 weeks, he is still going to be very much a puppy.  I would imagine that the biggest help you would get by delaying that long would be with housetraining, crate training (if that is where you would like him to sleep, rest etc..), and some of the basic commands like sit, down, and walking on a leash.  But the puppy behavior will still be there in that he is likely to still be unpredictable, bouncy, possibly nippy and highly energetic (at certain times of day).  

Perhaps it might help to give you a brief description of our Rooney who is almost 6 months old.  Rooney has come a long way since we got him at 8+ weeks and we think he is a wonderful puppy with a medium to low-medium energy level. That said though, he still has periods of the day when his activity level suddenly shoots up and he needs a lot of attention and activity (or he will get into mischief).  When he is in those moods he can still become too rambunctious and he will at times become nippy with my 7 year old daughter.  Unfortunately, puppies tend to look at young children as the closest thing they've got to another puppy and he will use his mouth to try and get her to play.  Of course we immediately correct him and separate them, and we also work with our daughter so she will learn how not to get him so excited but, honestly, many times it is not at all her fault.  He's just a puppy and he still acts like one.  He has been through both a puppy class and Beginning Obedience and has done very well but at only 6 months old his response to commands is not 100% and especially if he is highly distracted or energetic

I guess all of this is just to say that at 4 months old a puppy can have made some progress, but there is still a long way to go and he is unlikely to have settled down dramatically at that point.  The biggest help will be in the areas of housetraining and the basics... 

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

The thing about training is that it's a never-ending process. Training is never "done".

It is not something that gets done and stays done, like putting a room addition on your house. You can have the greatest professional trainer in the world come in and work with your dog, at the breeder or at home, but unless you are able and willing to continue working on the commands and behaviors with the dog every single day, it's a huge waste of money. One time that you are inconsistent and/or do not reinforce a command is the first step towards the dog becoming "untrained".  That means that everyone in the house has to be on-board and consistent with this, including your son, or he simply can't ever be left alone with the dog. A simple thing like making the dog wait to go up or down stairs or in and out a door can be a very big deal. Also, most commands are verbal. "Leave it", "drop it" "wait" "no", etc.

Shannon also makes a good point. There are behaviors that will emerge at 6 months, and 7 months, and 10 months, and 18 months, etc. So training will have to be ongoing. This is a big commitment in terms of time and money.

 

[Shannon and Finn]

I agree, the first couple of years are still "puppy" years for most dogs.  If you decide to get a puppy or dog, I would look into the trainers that offer lifetime training programs where they come in regularly when you need them after the initial basic training.    It's expensive but can be a great option for staying on top of the new behaviors that pop up when you think you are on a roll or things that you feel would help your son bond with the dog.  They can work with you on the tools related to the behavior you need and then you can work on consistency between sessions.  Consistency is tough for me because I am paying attention to the kids sometimes and miss the opportunity with Finn.  A lot of training programs I want to do require Finn to be at least 6 months or older based on the need for maturity in the dog.   Definitely a life long thing with a lot of work happening the first couple of years.  I feel like I am running a 3-ring circus when Finn (who is practically the valedictorian of puppies) gets his energy burst in the late afternoon!

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

In my opinion, very little meaningful training can be done with a puppy under the age of four months.  They can be housebroken and learn some very basic commands, but it's only the beginning.  The real work will be when the pup comes home.  Puppies have very short attention spans, and much of what they learn at that age is contextual.  I really believe that paying for a professional trainer and obedience school before the puppy comes home is a waste of money.   I really think you need to spend a good amount of time with your son around a puppy to see how you all handle it.  It can be any breed at this point....it's just learning how you all do.  I'm guessing there are local rescues who would love to have a volunteer family to foster a puppy for them.  At least then you would know before you make the commitment. 

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Ed, I salute you for trying to ask all the right questions before you bring a dog into your house. I also wanted to say that my heart goes out to you because I know when you love dogs, it is hard to live without one. I don't really see much difference in a two month old puppy and a four month old puppy. Your puppy is still going to nip, zoom, bark, and act like a puppy.  Have you considered getting an older dog? I love puppies, so I know the appeal they have, and maybe that could happen for you down the road, but there is a lot of satisfaction in taking in an older dog and giving it a good home. I sure hope you get your dog and it all works out for all of you. What about visiting the local SPCA and seeing how your son does with the dogs? Good luck!!