Babies and Dogs: a different perspective

[Adina P]

I would say Natalie is magnetized by the definition in this woman's article. 

http://dogsandbabies.wordpress.com/2011/01/24/mamas-dont-let-your-b...

 

But...I'm not sure I have any ideas for how to strike a balance.  Knives don't walk around the house and approach and follow you from room to room.  What do the rest of you think about this woman's perspective and how to achieve a balance?

 

 

[Jennifer Tramell]

I think she has too much free time :-) 

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

There's a book by noted security expert Gavin De Becker called "Protecting the Gift", about how to keep your children safe from human predators, and in this book, he refutes the "Don't Talk to Strangers" idea, and actually says that appropriately teaching your kids TO talk to strangers keeps them much safer. The idea is that a child needs to know how, when, and who to talk to, and that can keep them much safer and able to seek appropriate help than just teaching them to avoid anyone they don't know. The latter can actually put children more at risk.

What does this have to do with kids and dogs? Well, for one thing, kids who are completely at ease around dogs are much less likely to do the kinds of things that put them at risk of being bitten than kids who are afraid of dogs...running away, screaming, waving hands in the air, etc.

But in this book, De Becker cites an example of a parent who seeks his help because her 4 year-old child "doesn't get it". De Becker's response is, "There's your answer. He doesn't get it. He's too young to understand or make good choices. You have to prevent him from being in a situation where he will have to make those kinds of choices until he's old enough to "get it."

Both my kids and my grandson were born into homes where there were dogs, just like yours. They are very natural and comfortable around dogs. (In fact, my grandson is blase about dogs...it's nothing new to him, it's actually pretty boring. Like, oh, a dog. What else is new?) I have never had a dog that I could not trust completely around kids, but just the same, I'm not stupid enough to have ever left a really young child unsupervised around them.

To me, it's like anything else you do with young children- you simply do not allow them to ever be in a situation where they are at risk of danger, whether from knives, strangers, dogs, cleaning solutions, or anything else, until they are old enough to "get it".

[Adina P]

Here are her two follow up articles (I just looked for them now):

 

http://dogsandbabies.wordpress.com/2011/02/07/how-to-not-magnetize-...

 

http://dogsandbabies.wordpress.com/2011/02/24/helping-toddlers-not-...

 

I'm not done reading them.

 

It sounds incredibly difficult. I already crate Boca (the one most likely to pester Natalie and be in the way) plenty.  I don't think I CAN separate more than I do. 

 

I think the part where a 'magnetized' child will run up to any dog (while they are young enough to not be afraid of life and dogs) has some truth to it.  Natalie is extremely excited to see a dog...ANY dog and if I didn't maneuver to keep her from rushing up to a strange dog she'd do it.  But at the same time...I think that could happen anyway. 

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

This author asks, what's the difference between teaching your toddler to handle dogs and teaching them to handle knives?

SO...I'll ask you. What's the difference between a toddler rushing up to a strange dog, and a toddler rushing up to a motor vehicle?

My grandson was "extremely excited" to see a bus..ANY bus. Don't ask me why, but he would go crazy any time he saw a school bus. And yes, he wanted to rush over to it. We were at a carnival once...rides, toys, cotton candy...and my grandson threw a tantrum because he kept wanting to rush over and board one of the big yellow shuttle buses that had brought us there, and we wouldn't let him do it. He would have run right in front of moving traffic to get to one of those buses.

I think you get my point. Dogs, buses, machine guns...there are things that excite kids and that kids are going to want to rush over to. Your job is to prevent them from doing it.

[Adina P]

Machine guns...lol.  Natalie just looooves those machine guns ;-)  Just kidding.  It was just a funny image in my mind of a toddler LOVING machine guns.  I totally get your point.  I agree and I think that is a good argument.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Well, it was meant to be funny, but just you wait 'til Peanut is born, and you just might see a machine gun lovin' toddler. That attraction to guns seems to be hard-wired in some little boys, lol.

MY DD refused to buy any, not even a water pistol, and everything became a gun... a spoon, a bar of soap, a Lego block, the remote control...

I'm glad you got the point, though. :)

 

[Joanne ~ Spud*]

HUH!  I loved Guns as a child.  Annie get  your gun, was sung to me daily from my father's lips as I drug around a WWII  rifle.   Dirt, guns, and lipstick.  You just never know.   Oh my goodness, what if my magnetism to those little Avon sample lipsticks made me do all that graffiti as a teen?  Maybe even grow up to be a floosie?

[Joanne ~ Spud*]

on a side note, I agree with children not being taught to talk with strangers/adults.  Being taught how to talk with them is much better than telling them not to talk with them at all

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

One of my favorite parts of the book is where he says "Obviously, when people tell their children not to talk to strangers, they're referring to times when the child is on his own, because if a child is with a parent, what difference does it make who he talks to?" LOL

I love Gavin De Becker. Great, great books, common sense advice that makes you say "Why didn't I think of that?"

[Joanne ~ Spud*]

I'll have to check him out.  Thanks

[Joanne ~ Spud*]

With everything, this one is over thought.  It is correct in theory,  but over thought.  The smacking stage that some children go through does not last that long to warrent worry about the long-term affects of telling the child no, then thinking they are forever going to have adverse feelings toward dogs. 

What young mother has the time to make sure the dogs, kids, husband, job, are all happy and safe.  Exhausting.   My son's were also 21 months apart.  One loved the dogs, one could care less.  My youngest was the one who was magnetized by dogs.  He was also the smacker.   Again, the smacking stage does not last very long.   If it did, he would be in trouble.  He would not only smack the dogs, he smacked BLOND little girls repeatadly on the head.  Of course I had to tell him to stop beating the blond girl in the head!   By telling him NO, did it keep him away from blond girls now that he is 21 years old?  Does he have adverse affects and relationships with blonds?   Nope.  Does he beat them? NO

Watch the dogs and the babies.  Both need to be safe.   Make sure the dogs are well rested and have a safe place to retreat  and I think this to shall pass. 

 

[Adina P]

I think what she's saying is that there's that small percentage of dogs that won't tolerate certain things and 'you never know'.  Or that the magnetized child will treat ALL dogs the same way they treat their own TOLERANT dogs and that could be dangerous.  What can I say...I tend to think this is overdone too.  But part of me worries a bit too...because I'm that type of worrier.