Did Halas Try to Kill Me?

[Leslie and Halas]

Every now and then, Halas gets a little too rough when he plays with me.  He doesn't want to stop, and he'll start nipping at me.  And it won't be on the sections of my arms or legs that can handle some abuse.  He'll bite my elbows and knees in order to elicit the most pain for his efforts.  He doesn't bite hard, but teeth on boney areas isn't fair. I make him stop playing when he gets this way.

Lately, I've been spending a lot of time packing some things up.  I have to move things out of the way for some new flooring I'm having installed later this month.  This takes attention away from Halas, which he clearly doesn't like.  He was laying on my bed watching me move stuff around the other night, and when I was done, I jumped on the bed and started playing with him.  He decided to start an assault on my elbows and knees, so I told him I wouldn't play with him any more, and I hid under the covers of the bed.  I've tried this before with him, and he doesn't always try to get me out from under the covers.  Sometimes, he'll just stop what he's doing and lay down next to me.  But this time, he wasn't ready to stop playing, so he started pawing at the covers.  He pawed for about 3 seconds, and then gave up.  Or so I thought.

I heard some rustling around on the bed, and then, suddenly, there was a pillow over my head!  He gave up on getting me out, and decided to smother me!  I think my cute, sweet, friendly, loving Halas tried to kill me!  Because I wouldn't let him bite my elbows.  

I'm thinking of pressing charges, but I know he'll just get JD, Esquire to represent him, and he'll get off on some technicality.

In the process of packing things up, I'm going to go through his toys and throw away the ones that aren't recognizable any more.  But now I'm a little afraid to do that in front of him.  I guess I'll have to be sneaky  about it, for my own safety. 

[Leslie and Halas]

I kind of realized that after I wrote it.  In addition to a sarcasm font, I also need a deadpan humor font.  Those may be the only 2 fonts I would ever use.  

I just don't want to poison any potential jurors by making them think he's a naughty boy all the time. You know JD would bring that up during jury selection.  Would jury selection be called voir doodle instead of voir dire?  I'm assuming yes.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Yes, and thank you for this one, lol. I'll add it to the Doodle Legal  Jargon Handbook. Never would have thought of it myself. 

When you invent that sarcasm font, let me know.

[F, Calla & Luca]

And  doodle ipsa loquitor is good too.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Or res ipsa labrador, lol.

[F, Calla & Luca]

But that would mean the thing is a labrador: ) The former is, I think, The doodle speaks for itself.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

I liked The Thing is a Labrador, too. :)

[F, Calla & Luca]

Maybe res ipsa Labradoodle :) By the way is JD only a defense lawyer?

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

I like that one even better!

JD also does family law and personal injury cases. That's how he makes enough money to do his Pro Bone-o work. :)

[Donna K & Quincy]

Don't worry Halas, we have a judge and jury all lined up.

 

We'll have the jury eating out of our hand.

 

 

Just in case JD can't make it, we have a couple of lawyers as well.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Hey! JD is always there for his friends! Tell those shagsters shysters to go chase their tails some other ambulance!

[F, Calla & Luca]

Even after matricide?

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

That would be attempted matricide, and it never happened anyway! It was an accident! Halas is innocent! He was just trying to make his mom more comfortable, and he lost control of the pillow! And if the pillow slips, you must acquit!