Difficulty establishing myself as Alpha

[Badgley "Monster" Kopel]

I seem to have a problem establishing myself as an Alpha with our 5 month old puppy. It's really frustrating for me because I simply don't know what I'm doing wrong. Initially my husband and I decided to take the "reward" approach in training her, just positively reinforce the good behavior. Anytime she stepped out of line we would say "aah aah" and ignore her, or put her in time out if she's was being very bad and difficult to control. It worked for the most part but she was still biting us here and there, barking at dogs and people, and kind of doing whatever she wanted. We didn't think we had an alpha issue, but more of the fact that she's a puppy. Well, we went away for the weekend and left her with a good friend of ours that has a 1 1/2 year old doodle. When we came back it was like he worked magic on her. She was the calmest version of herself we had ever seen. No biting, no barking, the perfect dog.. He had mentioned that she did try to bite and misbehave a couple times and that when she did he flipped her on her back, gave her a quick and stern no, and then continued on. After that, all was well. WOW!! Well, the perfect dog lasted about a day before she started to revert to her old habits. We decided to try what he did and it worked for the most part with my husband but not at all with me. I try to be as stern as I can, with the strongest intention possible. I say it in a really deep voice. I'm quick. If that doesn't work, I hold her longer..  And NOTHING! I flip her, she goes back at me, I flip her again, she goes back at me. We go back and forth and back and forth until I finally put her in time out. I don't know what to do! She is obviously capable of being an amazing dog as long as she doesn't view her self as pack leader, I just don't know why she won't take me seriously. HELP! Any one out there with advice, please chime in! 

[Badgley "Monster" Kopel]

Thank you all so much for your input, advice, and experience. I do hate using the Alpha technique and have found it simply doesn't work when I do it. It just seems to get her more excited, and I think she thinks I'm playing with her. SO, back to the reward based training. I must say, I think I agree with what some of you had said about the role the other dog played in calming Badgley down. I had gone over to my friend's for dinner the other night (same friend) and she played with the other dog all evening. Came back a bit calmer again. All in all, she is a really great pup, smart and sweet. She just gets into these fits most days, lasts about 20- 40 mins, and nothing but "time out" seems to work. We will try to increase her outdoor time and also training time with mental stimulation. It's good to hear you've all been there and that it WILL get better!

[Stella]

I hate all this stuff about being 'alpha', to use F's word, I think it is hokum. You are better to check out a good positive reinforcement trainer in your area, and take a look at Ian Dunbar's Dog Star Daily website, it is full of great tips and information about puppies and dog training - all without performing the archaic alpha rollover. I do believe your dog has to know the difference between right and wrong, and that sometimes you do have to negatively reinforce to let them know their behaviour is not appropriate. But, at five months old your puppy is still very much a baby. It is more likely that the presence of the other dog at your friends house helped to discipline her, and not being pinned at all.

[Badgley "Monster" Kopel]

Update time! 

Badgley is turning into the most amazing dog ever! She's still a pup so there are certainly behavior issues here and there. Mainly leash pulling and barking at people walking through the halls of our building. Work in progress! BUT, she is calm and sweet, knows what's right and wrong, and is simply a fur ball of love!

We had read up on some of the material mentioned in the thread, watched videos, all of that helped. We were able to pull little techniques and hints to help with teaching. But, in general, we just kind of rode it out. She just got "better" with time. We were also able to find a "thing" that we do to really scold her. In the past we had tried Ceasar's "Tsch" or other words and sounds and nothing really helped. One day, when she was really acting up, my husband clapped his hands together loudly in front of her face and followed up with a very stern "NO". That got her attention! AND SHE STOPPED! We only had to do it a couple more times, when prompted, and she figured out that the behavior is not okay. At this point, it's very rare that we have to clap, she hears "NO" and she knows! Looking back on it now, I'm not really sure that there was an alpha issue.. Maybe it was a communication issue? Or maybe she was just very young. Also, she calmed down a little bit after spaying. No change in her personality what so ever, but a tiny smidge calmer after that experience.

Another thing we started to really pay attention to is our own energy and how it effects her. And it really does! We started noticing a pattern of her behavior getting more rowdy if one of us were bringing in a stronger energy. Watching ourselves has shown significant change as well!