Dood is so scared of other dogs- hard to socialize him...any tips?

[Julia M.]

Hi DK friends,

So my miniature golden doodle, Beau, just turned 5 months a few days ago. He's a small guy, the smallest male of his litter and probably weighs between 9 and 10 pounds now. He's the friendliest and sweetest dog with people and is taking to his at-home command training very well. He's just recently received all of his vaccines and we're looking forward to being able to take him to formal obedience classes!

However, I'm concerned because he seems to be incredibly fearful of other dogs. My friend has 2 dogs who he has interacted with a bit, but he's so afraid of them (a chihuahua and a 40 lb lab mix) that he runs from them and tries to hide behind me. It took 3 or 4 meetings for Beau to be able to just hang in same room together, at which point he was still stuck like velcro to me. Mostly he whimpers when the lab comes near and then bolts as soon as he get any closer. Of course, this begins in a chase where Beau becomes frantic and cries. He has tried to play with the little dog but all Beau does is bark and hop all around, which she is not interested in dealing with.

Today we went on a walk and he saw a smaller dog. He whined and tried to jump up my leg to avoid having to interact with her. When she approached they sniffed noses for a second but Beau began to whine and cry. She made a move to smell his back end and he lunged at her. I tugged his lead and did an immediate correction with a firm "no", but a few seconds later it happened again. I was calm and collected, trying to show him as the pack leader that other dogs are not to be feared. 

Does anyone have any advice or had this situation with their doodle? I'm quite excited to take him to obedience classes, but obviously want it to be as pleasant as possible. As a sidebar, he seems to have a bit of separation anxiety that we've been working on by increasing his confidence through command training and gradual separation periods. He's showing small steps of improvement in that.

All advice would be appreciated! Thanks so much!

Julia & Beau

[Adina P]

What is his past?  What age was he when you got him?  Did he have any socialization with dogs between the ages of 8-12 wees?  I think obedience training will help a lot.  Also 'socialization' doesn't mean Beau has to play with other dogs.  It just means he has to feel safe around other dogs by practicing being in their presence.  So as he learns obedience commands, you can take those out into the real world and have dogs you know nearby (but leashed and not bugging him) and practice his obedience with nice, leashed dogs a few leash lengths away.  You can practice outside of the fence of a dog park...not going inside and not getting so close he gets scared, but a distance away.  As he gets more comfortable you can get closer... My point is that the obedience training done near things that scare him or distract him will help him get more comfortable and trust that those things won't hurt him.  Hopefully your trainer has a good idea of how to lead you in this endeavor.

[Julia M.]

We got him when he was 8 1/2 weeks old. Always being on the small side, he's always seemed a little shy. We just moved last week as well, so I'm sure that adjustment has not made any doggie interactions we've had since that big disruption any easier. We followed all the guidelines about easing Beau's moving anxiety, like familiarizing him with our new place ahead of time and continuing to follow his schedule as much as possible. Overall, he seems to be adjusting well and I'm glad he's still young enough to not have gotten so attached to our old home.

Unfortunately, he didn't have any doggie interaction between 8 and 12 weeks. The vet office scared the living daylights out of me about absolutely 100% keeping him away from dogs before he was fully vaccinated. They were so adamant I was petrified. But after doing some of my own research and by the time he had gotten 3 out of the 4 rounds, I decided to let him around known doggies in a controlled environment (the ones i mentioned in the original post) because I was getting concerned about this sort of situation arises from having no interactions in that formative time.

I appreciate you bringing up the fact that "socialization" doesn't mean he has to play with other dogs. I've always thought about it as an all encompassing term for a well-adjusted dog that also would be able to play with other dogs. For now, we'll focus on the well-adjusted part and if he does come to enjoy playing with other dogs down the road it'll be a nice bonus! 

I'm definitely looking forward to working with a trainer to get his formal obedience training started! Thanks for your reply!

[Adina P]

It's such a catch-22!!!  You want your dog to be comfortable in the world and learn that the world (and all within it) are not worth worrying about and yet...fear of parvo and such keeps you out of that world.  Perhaps your vet's warning had to do with a high parvo risk in your area at the time...?  Anyway, don't feel guilty about it, you did your best based on your vet's adamant suggestion.  And Beau may have still turned out to be this way anyway because that might just be his personality and natural self. 

I think in general meeting safe and healthy dogs in places that aren't frequented by dogs is probably okay.  What if you had other dogs at home already?  You wouldn't be expected to quarantine them away. 

It looks like you have a good outlook on this and will do the best for Beau =)  And I second Karen's suggestion, below!  It's really okay if your dog doesn't love to play with most other dogs.  After all you got him for your companionship and enjoyment not to for the sake of having a group of dogs to watch playing. 

Slightly tangential, but I have an acquaintance who got her doodle pup at 5 weeks or so. WAY too young, obviously.  Well this pup met my dogs (who didn't have a shy bone in their body) and they scared her half to death when she was between 4 and 6 months old.  She HID under a bench the entire 'play date'.  Later when I asked about her dog (and by then the dog was probably well past a year old) she said she was getting along well with a friend's labrador.  But they didn't play together.  They just coexisted, peacefully when the other dog would visit.  I would say that was a HUGE improvement.  And probably just fine and makes for less chaos =)

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

In addition to Adina's suggestions, I would not let any dogs get near him when he is on leash, for now. Being approached while on leash is a very vulnerable position for a dog, even those who are not timid or fearful around other dogs. 

[Julia M.]

That's a good idea. I'm sure Beau will find that to be just fine as he prefers to simply pass a nearby dog without any sort of acknowledgment ha ha. This other dog today did approach him (not the other way around) and they were both leashed, which I agree probably created tension between them. He probably felt vulnerable and cornered, which escalated his preexisting anxiety. We'll keep him focused on simply continuing to improve his walking skills (which are going great!) and try to eliminate doggie interactions in that setting for the time being.

Thanks for the reply!

[Joanna, Zoe & Bender]

Hi Julia,

This is exactly how my Bender used to act as a puppy when I took him out on walks.  He would cry and cry and want to be held and avoided most dogs.  I honestly think that maybe in the beginning I should've held him on our walks and let him feel safe about walking around first.  I say this because unfortunately I still have a problem with him interacting with strange dogs and it is a daily struggle that is always on my mind.  Although... he did not lunge at another dog until about 9 months of age.  Now, He is ok with some dogs and not ok with other dogs.  What kind?  I don't know so I can't let him greet ANY dog on our walks.  And we no longer go to dog parks.

I hope Beau is nothing like Bender or never gets to be like him.  Bender is great at home and with dogs that he already knows.  There are so many "would've, could've, should've's" that always run through my mind and I drive myself absolutely nuts that I didn't do everything for him that I did for my other dog.  He was socialized late too because he had Giardia and wasn't supposed to be around other dogs since it was contagious.  When I did start taking him to puppy classes he was top of his class at all commands and behavior.

I would suggest to do everything and anything you can do NOW to expose him to other dogs and make him feel happy secure in all situations.  Avoid all aggressive dogs, barking dogs, etc so he doesn't associate this type of behavior with dogs.  

I'm not sure why Bender turned out this way but we love him and he is the biggest sweetheart.  Bender could be the way he is because of his littermates...he was the runt and was rather obsessed with food and still is.  I think maybe he was bullied but who knows.  It could be because I didn't take him to puppy classes until later.  It could be because he met my in-laws awful yorkies that yap and growl and anything that comes near them and lunged at Ben multiple times, it could be that I walked him by these BIG great pyrenees that he was deathly afraid of in my neighborhood once too many times.   I dont know.  I believed that since he was so relaxed and sweet at home that he would be the same in all environments.  Boy was I wrong.

Please take him everywhere and anywhere you go.  Make him feel safe.  I truly think that would help him.

Sorry this is so long but I wanted to let you know everything I think I did wrong so you don't have to go through this with Beau.  I am sure he's just scared and will be ok after he gets used to other dogs.  Keep us posted on how he does :)

[Cyndi, The Boys & Callie]

When he was younger (he's almost 2 now) our middle doodle was ffy out and about.  He's loves kids and most dogs but when we took him out he would cry/whine/pull the leash to get away A LOT.  The trainer said that was his way of telling us that he didn't know what to do in that situation and that was causing his increased anxiety.  She suggested taking him off to the side, away from the activity but where he could sit and just observe.  Initially, we would have to do this several times before he calmed down. When he did well, we really heaped the praise (you would have thought he had found the cure for the common cold) Now he's fine and just prances around.  He will never be a super confident alpha male that's just not him.  But he's happy and sure of himself.  I think the training will be great for both of you and should really increase his confidence.  As for taking him places, we take ours with us to the local plant nursery. We go early, it's not crowded, and full of people that just love to pet doodles.  Just an idea on the different places to go.  Good luck.