Ever Have Second Thougths About your Doodle?????

[Gail+Kathleen,(Sydney+Olivia:)]

After dealing with another medical issue with Sydney are we the right Doodle Moms?  As I sit here with tears in my eyes, I ask, Have any of you had second thoughts about having brought your Doodles into your homes?  Well, we have......both Kathy and I have had conversations many, many times about Sydney our first Doodle......As tears stream from my eyes, I must share with you that Sydney was not what each of you know what a Doodle would look like as you brought each of your Doodles into your homes. We have been disappointed not only with how Sydney looks, but the fact that she sheds and most importantly, that she has had lots of medical issues from the time she was a puppy.  We grew up with that "guilty complex" that keeps us fom what others would find easier to do what suits their lifestyle.  I know that resentment towards our breeder is not the answer.  Perhaps finding out what the "Reason for our having our "SYDNEY" may be the answer some day.  All of you on DK cannot probably relate to our feelings since we see how your expectations have been met.  We are wondering what is the real reason to have Sydney in our lifes?

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Remember I tried to re-home my DH and had the same problem. All the people on DK asked too many questions and I had to answer truthfully :)

[Nicky, Riley & Boris]

Gail,  I think you are very brave to have brought up this subject but this is a community of friends and a safe place.  I will not give you any advice but just to say that whatever you decide will be right for you.  In other words I feel that we all need to be completely non judgmental.  You must not feel any guilt whatever you choose.  Sydney deserves a happy life in the right home,  that may well be with you but if it's not then you will find the best one for her.  I'm not one of those people who believes that there is some major plan to challenge us and make us better people.  I have had serious challenges in my life. It's often simple to justify why things happen by talking about a grand plan but sometimes there is simply no rational explanation.

[Pam & Trixie]

What Nicky said....I agree-but could not get my Thoughts to come across like that if I tried to type them out.

I do hope Sydney is feeling better.

[Maureen & Shyla]

Second, third, and fourth thoughts, too!  We got our doodle hoping she'd make a good therapy dog.  Turns out WE need the therapy.  Plus a massage after all the hiking we do to burn off her endless supply of energy.  Since my husband and I are hyper, I figure she's feeding into that.  Cesar Millan says you're sent the dog you need.  If that's true, our doodle's been sent to teach us patience and how to relax.  At least once a day, I wonder why we ever got her.  Of course, I thought that about each of my kids, too, until they were in their teens.  Children or puppies--they're adorable when they're asleep, hell on wheels when awake, but when you hang in their every day, give discipline and affection, eventually the pay back is a balanced, well-adjusted dog (or human being). 

Enough philosphizing.  Just wanted to let you know:  I hear you, sister.  Hang in there.

[Nicky, Riley & Boris]

Yes, I agree there. My middle daughter was a bit of a nightmare.  Never slept for more than 20 minutes at a stretch.  Climbed onto everything.  Hid in a cardboard box for two hours aged two while the whole family and neighbourhood searched for her.  Refused to study in school.  Shaved her hair aged ten because she hated the curly beautiful hair she had.   Refused to wear girls clothes (we had to buy in a boys clothing shop).  Dispatched several babysitters and minders due to her horrible behaviour.

 

Guess what?  At 23 she is a wonderful young woman.  A Montessori teacher and a nanny to a wonderful family.  Went back to school and got all grade A's.   Is going to China to teach for a year and also considering a career in air traffic control.  A more dependable, well adjusted young woman you could not meet!!  ( Can't quite remember when it all changed but I think around age 18!!!)

[Maureen & Shyla]

Hmm...sounds like a match for my son.  We seriously considered an exorcism until a major turnaround at age 14.  Now a 27 year-old, gainfully employed, hard-working, reliable, considerate, & FUN son.   No exorcism required.  Hallelujah! 

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

When I read your post it reminded me of a similar discussion several months back that Karen started on the DRC site.  Here's the response I posted to that discussion, and it really fits here too (it's basically the same "story" that Adina also referenced)....

Karen, your comment just started me thinking about a story that someone shared with me almost twenty-five years ago when our youngest son was born. I was thirty-seven when I got pregnant with our Timmy, and the doctors encouraged me to have an amnio to be sure that he did not have any serious genetic concerns because of my age. I refused, and I told them that I had never prayed for a perfect baby....just a baby. They hated that, and kept at me throughout my pregnancy. He was born, and several hours later we learned that he had Down Syndrome. Family, friends, hospital staff, basically everyone acted like this was a major tragedy. Quite honestly, I didn't get it. I was in love with him from the minute I saw him. I saw a beautiful baby...nothing more and nothing less. Then someone told me this story.....
A young woman dreamed her whole life of going to Paris. She read all about Paris, looked endlessly at pictures of Paris, dreamed of how Paris would be if she could ever get there. Well. she saved and saved, and finally she could afford her dream. So she boarded the plane for Paris, full of excitement and anticipation. When the plane landed she realized that she wasn't in Paris at all...she was in Amsterdam. She was so upset and sad, and then she got off the plane. It was tulip season, and there were flowers everywhere. It was breathtaking. The people there were wonderful to her, and she felt completely at home and happy. She opened herself up to the possibility that this would be an adventure like nothing she could ever have imagined. It wasn't her dream of Paris, it was actually different and better. I think that it's obvious why I was told this story right after my son's birth, but it kind of feels the same as what you were saying, Karen. Sometimes, we just have no idea what we want or need until we get it.

It hasn't always been "easy" raising our son....many challenges.  But I have learned so much in the process....patience, knowing what is "really important", how to navigate the "system" to get him what he needs, how to simply ignore those who are unkind (and uneducated) about mental handicaps.  In return he fills our life with laughter and unconditional love every day.  Your situation is of course different, but the feelings you are having are so similar.  If you can "let go" of your original expectations for your Doodle, and try to find the wonderful things that Sydney brings to your life, I think you will find yourself in a whole different "place".  There's surely lots of support here for you.  Thank you for being brave enough to share your feelings.  I truly understand.

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

Beautiful and wise sharing, Jane.  Thank you.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Jane, This is absolutely beautiful.

[Gail+Kathleen,(Sydney+Olivia:)]

Thank you for all of your heart felt comments.  We have not been on DK recently since we have been going back and forth to the Vet with Sydney for the last 8 days.  The Vet originally thought Sydney may have gotten salmonella poisoning from a bully stick we gave her last Sunday.  Sydney had a sonogram and other tests.  After Sydney was pretty sick for several days, the Vet kept her overnight on Thursday on IV and then sent us to a special Animal Hospital who were able to run blood work same day.  Sydney is on several medications and her face swelled up today so we are going back to the Vet again.  Re-homing Sydney as some of you suggested is not an option and hopefully will never be.  Kathy and I are in our 50s and we have had painful life experiences just as many of you have shared.  We do LOVE SYDNEY LOTS.  We have and continue to do our best for her (LOTS OF LOVE, professional training, healthy food and treats, best crates and beds, special harnesses and leads, fun and safe toys,.....we can go on and on).  We treat our Doodles as part of our family.  Hopefully Sydney will get better soon.  We all are pretty exhausted and would love to have a cleaning lady just about now! 

[Allyson, Peri & Taquito]

Gosh, I hope they figure out what is going on asap!  I have been through something similar and wouldn't wish it on anyone.  Best of luck and kudos to you and Kathy for sticking by Sydney. I can tell you love her deeply :)

[Bonnie and Kona]

I am so sorry to hear that Sydney is sick. Hoping he will recover completely and quickly.