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Labradoodle & Goldendoodle Forum

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE PETS,  THIS IS A TRUE STORY.

 FOR THOSE THAT DON'T,  IT IS A TRUE STORY.

 The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.
 
 Dear Dogs and Cats:  The dishes with the paw prints are yours and
 contain your food.  The other dishes are mine and contain my food.  Placing a
 paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it
 becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing
 in the slightest.

 The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing
  me to the bottom is not the object.  Tripping me doesn't help because I
fall faster than you can run.

 I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed.  I am very sorry
  about this.  Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure
 your comfort, however. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when
 they sleep.  It Is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other,
 stretched out to the fullest extent possible.  I also know that sticking
 tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to
maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
 For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by
 some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not
  necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under
 the edge in an attempt to open the door.  I must exit through the same
 door I entered.  Also, I have been using the bathroom for years -
 canine/feline attendance is not required.

 The proper order for kissing is:  Kiss me first, then go smell the other
 dog or cat's butt.  I cannot stress this enough.
 One more thing, staring at me while I eat to try to direct my mind to
  give you my food will not work (usually).  I am too old and too tired.  Go
  stare at the kids.  They are younger and more susceptible to mind
 control...  If you don't believe me, notice how they all dress alike so
they can
 be individuals.

 Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on
 the front door:
    >>> TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO
COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:
    >>>
    >>> (1)  They live here.  You don't.
    >>> (2)  If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off
the
    >>> furniture.  That's why they call it
'fur'-niture.
    >>> (3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
    >>> (4)  To you, they are
animals.  To me, they are adopted sons/daughters
    >>> who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak
clearly.

    >>> Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
>        >>> (1) eat less,
>        >>> (2) don't ask for money all the time,
>        >>> (3) are easier to train,
>        >>> (4) normally come when called,
>        >>> (5) never ask to drive the car,
>        >>> (6) don't hang out with drug-using people;
>        >>> (7) don't smoke or drink,
>        >>> (8) don't want to wear your clothes,

      >>> (9) don't have to buy the latest fashions,
>        >>> (10) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and
>        >>> (11) if they get pregnant, you can sell their
children!!!
>        >>>
>
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LOL Great! It made me chuckle... AND it is ALL TRUE!
Very funny!
12) Don't talk back
13) You don't have to worry about bad phone calls from school
14) Go to bed on time


The List goes on!!
I love this...thanks for the smile.
Great and not an untrue statement seen.
I love this! Thanks.
Love it!! Thanks for sharing ;)

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