I'm Gettin NUTTIN for Christmas!

[Jacquie Yorke (DRC)]

Ok...So if you are not a member of the Clark Pearson Fan Club then you have no idea that we all contributed our own little Christmas carol parodies in the "A Clark Pearson Christmas- It's SANTA CLARK" discussion...http://doodlekisses.com/group/theofficialclarkpearsonfanclub/forum/...
If you missed it, you should definitely check it out if you want a great laugh!....but I thought that this self-depricating little ditty is worthy of a Main Forum post because

I LIVE TO MAKE YOU ALL LAUGH!!...

Enjoy.....Happy Holidays!

Nuttin' For Christmas

I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas
Members of DK are mad.
I'm getting nuttin' for Christmas
'Cause I ain't been nuttin' but bad

I put some hair on Clarkie’s head;
Somebody snitched on me.
I pissed off people with things I said;
Somebody snitched on me
Pissed off everyone in Arkansas.
When I said "some of them" should all be on “Hee Haw”
Ripped apart people who feed dogs “Raw”
Somebody snitched on me.

Oh, I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas
Members of DK are mad.
I'm getting nuttin' for Christmas
'Cause I ain't been nuttin' but bad

Tell off BYBs without a care
Somebody snitched on me.
Karen and I are quite a pair!
Somebody snitched on me.
I give em hell with no disgrace
Make em scared to show their face
My discussion posts are all erased!
Cause somebody snitched on me.

So, I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas
Members of DK are mad.
I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas
'Cause I ain't been nuttin' but bad.

I won't be seeing Santa Claus;
Somebody snitched on me.
He won't come visit me because
Somebody snitched on me.
On DK I'll be going straight;
On DK I'll be good, just wait
I'd start now, but it's too late;
Somebody snitched on me.

Oh, I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas
Clark and Adina are mad.
I'm getting nuttin' for Christmas
'Cause I ain't been nuttin' but bad

So you better be good whatever you do
'Cause if you're bad on DK I'm warning you,
You'll get nuttin' for Christmas!

[Lynne Fowler-Oodles of Doodles]

Santa Clark knows who's heart is pure and true.
All the best wishes for Christmas, will come to you.
Where love and kisses outshine humbug snitches,
Myself, and others know, real DK B****es.

Love you, girl.

[Jacquie Yorke (DRC)]

PIMPROTFL!!!....I LOVE YOU WOMAN!!......Merry &^%*ING CHRISTMAS!...LOL!!
I included the link to White Trash Christmas below.....I'm hanging with my family today at the "double wide", watchin some NASCAR, drinking a few Buds and roasting some squirrels!...You got a good recipe for dat?....lol....if so please post it in THE FOOD GROUP and DK COOK BOOK.....Have a Happy and a Merry!

http://andycouch.com/whitetrashxmas/

[Lynne Fowler-Oodles of Doodles]

OHHHH, Jack loves squirrel! Tastes like chicken! We're havin' possum. Hugs and kisses.

[Jacquie Yorke (DRC)]

[Jacquie Yorke (DRC)]

APPLICATION FOR NEW JERSEY RESIDENCE

NAME:__________________________
NICKNAME: ______________________

ADDRESS: ______________________ EXIT # __________
______________________

ETHNIC BACKGROUND: _______Italian _______Sicilian ________Jewish

BACKYARD SMELLS LIKE:
a)Sewage b)Sulfur c)Garbage d)All of the above

TOTAL NUMBER OF MUSCLE SHIRTS
a)5 - 10 b)10 - 15 c)15 - 20 d)20 and above

TOTAL NUMBER OF BON JOVI TOUR SHIRTS
a)5 - 10 b)10 - 15 c)15 - 20 d)20 and above

TOTAL NUMBER OF BON JOVI TOUR SHIRTS THAT ARE ALSO MUSCLE SHIRTS
a)5 - 10 b)10 - 15 c)15 - 20 d)20 and above

BRAND OF JEANS PREFERRED
a)Sergio Valente b)Jordache c)Sassoon d)Z. Cavaricci

PERCENTAGE OF WARDROBE WHICH IS LEATHER
a)100% b)95-100% c)90-95% d)85-90%

TOTAL NUMBER OF GOLD CHAINS OWNED
a)10 - 15 b)15 - 20 c)20 - 25 d)25 and above

TOTAL NUMBER OF GOLD CHAINS WORN AT ONE TIME
a)5 - 10 b)10 - 15 c)15 - 20 d)20 and above

APPROXIMATE VALUE OF ALL THIS JEWELRY
a)$ 5 - $10 b)$10 - $15 c)$15 - $20 d)Stolen

GOLD CAP ON AT LEAST ONE TOOTH? YES NO

HAIR HEIGHT
a)6 - 8 Inches b)8 - 12 Inches c)1 - 2 feet d)More than 2 feet

HAIR PRODUCTS USED AT ANY GIVEN TIME
a) Hair Spray
b) Styling Gel
c) Mouse
d) Extra Hold Styling Gel
e) Bondo
f) Spackle
g) 40 Weight Oil
h) Crazy Glue

TOTAL AMOUNT OF TIME YOU SPEND IN A SHOPPING MALL

______________


TOTAL AMOUNT OF EXPLATIVES YOU USE IN A DAY


______________

AUTOMOBILE OWNED:
a) IROC Z
b) Firebird
c) Camaro
d) Mustang
f) Chevette ( You got a f#%*ing problem with it?)

NUMBER OF INCHES CAR IS OFF THE GROUND
a)6 - 8 Inches b)4 -6 Inches c)2 - 4 Inches d)Under 2 Inches

CHARACTERISTICS OF AUTOMOBILE
a) Gold chain around license plate
b) Neon lights around license plate
c) Neon lights under car
d) Chippendales/Playboy air freshener hanging from rear view mirror
e) Garter hanging from rear view mirror
f) Chrome hubcaps
g) Stick-on window tinting
h) Stick-on paint splash stickers
i) Fuzzy dice

FAVORITE SPORTS TEAM
a) F#%*ing Giants
b) F#%*ing Jets
c) F#%*ing Mets
d) F#%*ing Yankees
e) F#%*ing Nets
f) F#%*ing Knicks
g) F#%*ing Devils
h) F#%*ing Rangers
i) F#%*ing Islanders

FAVORITE MUSIC
a) Techno
b) Rap
c) Bon Jovi
d) Bruce Springstein

ESSAY QUESTION

In 100 words or less, Define the term "Yoose Guys"

[Lynne Fowler-Oodles of Doodles]

Hey, I represent these remarks!

EXCEPT: Favorite Music: COUNTRY
Backyard smells like: DOODLES
Characteristics of Car: DESIGNATED DOODLE DRIVER STICKER
IT'S AMAZING HOW WE IN NEW JOISEY CAN ENTERTAIN OURSELVES!!

CRAZY GIRL!

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Jacquie Baby, a stocking full of wishes there'll be, from me,
You've been an awfully good girl,
Jacquie Baby, so have a Merry Christmas tonight!

Jacquie Baby, your snarky comments always ring true, that's you,
Thanks for all that you do,
Jacquie Baby, and have a Merry Christmas tonight!

Think of all the good you've done,
All the homes for dogs who before had none,
Next year there could be even more,
If a day had thirty hours, not twenty-four.

Jacquie Baby, just one more thing we wanted to say- Hooray!
For all the laughter you bring.
Jacquie Baby, we wish you Merry Christmas tonight!


Wishing you & the Blakester the best Christmas ever!
We love you!

[Jacquie Yorke (DRC)]

and YOU?!!!???.....LSHIFWPIMP!!!!!!( laughing so hard I farted while peeing in my pants!!) ABSOLUTE BRILLIANCE!....(thank you ; ) )

Karen, WHAT WOULD I DO WITHOUT YOU?!! I LOVE YOU MY FELLOW AA and SNARKY COHORT!!!!! HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!

[Lynne Fowler-Oodles of Doodles]

You both are amazing! My Friends in Low Places (as Garth would sing), I lift my Mimosa to you both.

DoodleHugs and DoodleKisses to Jackdoodle and Blake, from Ginger, Jack and Cody!