Just Want To Talk...

[Joanie]

Hey everyone :)  You guys are always so good at listening and anwering questions related to my doodle.  I don't know... maybe you guys can help me too.  I'm just going through a hard time.  For the past two years I was working at this great job... part time, 20 hours a week, only 4 hours a day, out at noon everyday, making an excellent salary AND had benefits.  For the most part, I loved my job.  I felt so proud of it and besides doing Administrative Assistant work it also let me be creative by using PowerPoint.  Back in March the company restructured and my position was eliminated.  I didn't get to say goodbye to any of the people I had worked with for two years.  Just within a half hour period, my job was gone and I was told to leave.  No notice no nothing just leave.  It's been hard for me.  No closure, no nothing.  I don't do well when I don't have closure.  I since have been looking for a job, but I keep comparing everything to what I had.  I got offered this excellent job yesterday, full-time, at a company not even five minutes from my house, a big nationally known company, with paid holidays off, monday through friday, benefits, but the job is as a receptionist.  I guess I'm just scared now.  I'm scared, am I making the right choice?  Will I just be answering phones or will I also be doing secretarial work like I have been?  My husband says I have to leave the past job in the past, it's over and done with... but that's so hard for me because I keep looking back at what I had and what seemed to work for me.  How do I close the door on that part of my life and look forward and see this as a new adventure?  I just have so many questions and I'm just so scared and I want to do what's right for my family.  Any advice?

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Joanie, I am a big believer in affirmations, and many of the comments people have made here reminded me of one of my favorite quotes, by Eleanor Roosevelt:

“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” 

Here's a link to many more of her quotes, most of them along the same lines. It may be sappy, but I've always found this kind of thing helpful when I've been feeling the way you are feeling right now:

http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/44566.Eleanor_Roosevelt

[Sherri, Sophie, Winston, & Kitty]

Oh Karen, I love you more than ever. Eleanor Roosevelt is one of my favourite women of history!

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Mine, too. :)

[F, Calla & Luca]

Me three.

[Joanie]

Thank you :)  I love positive affirmations.

[Lynda Kamrath]

For what it's worth, I would use the info from the Italian driving manual - "What's behind you doesn't matter".  Try saying that with an Italian accent.  I know it may be hard to let go, but do that for your own sake.  What's in front of you can be even better than what you left behind.  Figure that you got to practice some new skills and may be able to use them sometime in the future.  Look ahead.  Go into the new job with a big smile on your face and be glad to be a great receptionist.  You never know what it can turn into.  My son just got a driving job at a great school and he has a master's degree.  He says he is the first person people meet when they come into the airport and he picks them up.  He likes it!  And he had applied for any job they had because he just wanted to be at that school.  Look for the positive things and I am sure you will find them.  And . . . ENJOY yourself.  Life is too short to be depressed.

[Sherri, Sophie, Winston, & Kitty]

"Try saying that with an Italian accent." - LOL Lynda.

[Suzann, Rosey & Bandit]

While the new job sound great, I can completely understand your concerns. If it doesn't work out you may consider temp work to relieve yourself of the commitment factor. And make sure to let your new job know you are willing to take on more assignments and exploit your computer skills ;)

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

What an awful and uncaring way that you were let go from your previous job.  More and more companies are taking this cold and demoralizing position when they eliminate jobs.  I'm sure that was very difficult to deal with.  The new position does sound like it brings a lot of potential.  I would definitely give it a try....nothing ventured, nothing gained.  Change can be so hard, but often it brings wonderful new beginnings.  Good luck, Joanie.

[Lucy & AnnaBelle's Mom]

Sadly, while it does seem cruel, this is pretty much the manner in which many layoffs happen.  I've worked at many companies where you were just called to HR and told your services were no longer required and then you were either escorted back to your desk to pack up, or given a time to come back later for your things and someone else would pack them up.  It is never a person thing, just the companies way of protecting themselves from those few people who would be so angry as to do some harm.    Normally there is a severance involved, or at least I have never worked for a Company where there wasn't, although I'm sure that isn't always the case. 

[Leslie and Halas]

I'm just catching up, and it sounds like you've decided to take the new job.  I think that's great.  Change can be tough, but you're going into it with the right attitude.  Just give it a try, and see what happens.  Good luck!

[Phoebe's Mom]

Fear of the unknown is paralyzing for many-myself included.  My husband lost his job 2.5 years ago after we moved 1300 miles way from friends and family.  We were devastated.  After 22 months, he found another job back on the east coast and I could not have been happier--he was let go after a corporate re-structuring just 5 weeks later. I am beyond consolable this time and worrying about the impact this is having on our four children--one of whom is a rising HS junior.  Right now, we feel totally out of control with no choices--just waiting for someone to hire my husband. 

You may not realize it but you are in total control of the situation and that is wonderful!  Not having closure is an awful thing and not something that one can just 'get over' but can you take a step toward contacting some of your friends from the prior job yourself? Perhaps just talking to them on the phone might give you some of the closure you crave.  As for the new job--congratulations!!!!  Take it one day at a time and remember that you can always continue to send out resumes and look for a more suitable job if this one does not make you happy.  Please allow yourself the opportunity to love ths job in addition to remembering how much you loved the last one.  I wish you all the best!