Just Want To Talk...

Hey everyone :) You guys are always so good at listening and anwering questions related to my doodle. I don't know... maybe you guys can help me too. I'm just going through a hard time. For the past two years I was working at this great job... part time, 20 hours a week, only 4 hours a day, out at noon everyday, making an excellent salary AND had benefits. For the most part, I loved my job. I felt so proud of it and besides doing Administrative Assistant work it also let me be creative by using PowerPoint. Back in March the company restructured and my position was eliminated. I didn't get to say goodbye to any of the people I had worked with for two years. Just within a half hour period, my job was gone and I was told to leave. No notice no nothing just leave. It's been hard for me. No closure, no nothing. I don't do well when I don't have closure. I since have been looking for a job, but I keep comparing everything to what I had. I got offered this excellent job yesterday, full-time, at a company not even five minutes from my house, a big nationally known company, with paid holidays off, monday through friday, benefits, but the job is as a receptionist. I guess I'm just scared now. I'm scared, am I making the right choice? Will I just be answering phones or will I also be doing secretarial work like I have been? My husband says I have to leave the past job in the past, it's over and done with... but that's so hard for me because I keep looking back at what I had and what seemed to work for me. How do I close the door on that part of my life and look forward and see this as a new adventure? I just have so many questions and I'm just so scared and I want to do what's right for my family. Any advice?

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Permalink Reply by BG and Gavin on June 20, 2012 at 11:57am

Hi Joanie. Just one more "it happened to me" story. Last year after 24 years at the same social service agency (my only job since graduating university) the powers that be decided to close our site. I was the team leader at a residential facility for 16 troubled teen girls and provided counselling to them and their families. Three months prior to the actual closure I was plucked from the facility and plugged in to fill a hole in another area of the agency. I was totally devasted. I lost the opportunity to get closure, to lead my team through a very tough time and most importantly to assist in finding all the young women (some who resided with us four years) places to live. I was literally sick to my stomach as I walked out with two days notice with my bankers box full of personal effects. It was all so upsetting that for the first week I had to remain in a 50 foot radius of the bathroom each morning as I arrived at work in my "new position." My digrestive system betrays me in times of stress ;) But...I too had a supportive husband and friends and a good doodle to come home to at lunch every day and they all reminded me that my work life was only one small part of my life and that I had much more important roles as a wife, friend, daughter, dog-mother etc. So I did my very best in the new position and took my lay-off package at the end of the three months and in January I landed my dream job teaching part time and working as a learning specialist at my community college. Less stress, better pay and summers off. I wish you the best whatever you decide, it will work out. So I will leave you with my favoritie quote: "When life hands you lemons....grab a salt shaker and break out the tequila!"

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Permalink Reply by Joanie on June 20, 2012 at 1:40pm

I have contacted my former coworkers and talked with them. They are all understanding and supportive and feel bad about what happened. I think what's really hard for me, why it's so hard for me to put the last job behind me is because of what happened and how it was handled. That day I was sitting at my desk, and one of the other Admins in my department (I was one of three) came to my desk and told me she was leaving for the day. She was smiling and seemed happy and said she'd see me tomorrow. She was only at work for two hours at most, but I didn't think twice about it. She had just come back from berevement leave. So I said ok, that'd I'd see her tomorrow and went back to work. About a half hour later my boss came to my desk and asked me to go for a walk with him to one of the conference rooms. I said ok. We got there, he opened the door and said he didn't understand because HR was supposed to be here. So he left me in the room, and between the time he left to find the HR person and the time he came back I knew something was very wrong. So my anxiety started getting real bad. He came back with the HR person and before I knew it HE TOOK OUT A LETTER AND STARTED READING FROM IT, not even looking at me! This was a guy I had worked with for a little over two years! I started having a very bad anxiety attack, I couldn't breath, and I kept saying I couldn't listen to this and I needed to leave. I was crying hysterically and opened the door to the conference room and ran blindly to my desk. The thing is they knew how bad my anxiety was so this could have been handled differently. So I run down the hall to my desk and end up in the other Admin's cube where I fall to the floor. I couldn't breathe, couldn't think. When I'm in an anxiety attack there's no way to reach me. Some of my coworkers came to try to find out what was going on and how to help me. Eventually I calmed down enough that they explained about my severence package and that I could work till the end of the month (three weeks left). They told me to go home for the day and to come back tomorrow. So my husband picked me up. I was a wreck, but I felt a little better knowing I had three weeks left of working and getting used to the idea of not working there anymore. That I could say my goodbyes and make peace with it. I was looking forward to going back to work the next day. So, I was calming down when my phone rang. It was HR and they asked how I was. I told them I was calming down. Then they said to me that FOR THE SAFETY OF THEIR OTHER EMPLOYEES I was not allowed back to work!!! I didn't hurt anyone and they said I could come back for three more weeks and now they are telling me that I can't! I started having an anxiety attack saying that I was coming back tomorrow, that I need to, and they told me no. I asked what about all my belongings, my pictures, etc... They said someone would pack them up and ship them to my house!!!! I said no I'm coming down there and hung up. So I went back to work (it had only been maximum of three hours since I had originally left). They deactivated my security badge! I couldn't even get into the parking lot. The security guys who knew me acted like they didn't! I flung open my car door and ran past the security booth to the front door. They refused to let me in! Everyone who knew me! Before I knew it the cops where there and they were threatening to arrest me!!! All I wanted was my belongings, to say goodbye to everyone, to be allowed those three weeks of work that I was promised! I felt like I was in a bad twilight zone episode. Anyhow, the cops got all my belongings and everyone I knew acted like they never knew me. Those two years were nothing! So I guess that's why it hurts for me so much because it just keeps playing back in my head everything that went down that day. It turns out they fired all of the Admins but six in the building that day. I know maybe I should have done things differently, acted differently, but when you're dealing with anxiety attacks it's so unpredictable and I just react and think later while I'm in the mists of freaking out. So I don't know how to make peace with what happened because of all this. Everyone that I worked with said they did me a favor by letting me go, that this company is having so many issues, and that I now will find a better job. Again it's the unknown. I do feel a lot better though with all the stories you have shared with me and I don't feel quite so scared. I'm gonna go to this job and be the best darn receptionist you have ever seen! I'm gonna go with an open mind. I just wish I could somehow erase everything from my mind that happened in my last job because like I said it keeps playing over and over in my mind like a bad movie.

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Permalink Reply by Bonnie and Kona on June 20, 2012 at 5:46pm

Hi Joanie,

I understand how you feel all too well. Three years ago my job of 17 years was eliminated. It was a joy to work as an admin and use my art background in graphic design every day. I turned 60 shortly after losing my job and decided with the economy, as it was, that there was no chance for me to get another one. The financial impact on our lives has been huge. How is wish I had searched high and low for a job. Now I am 63 and have had to start taking Social Security. The longer you postpone starting a job the harder it will be... both emotionally and in the job market. I hope you will try very hard to optimistically take this job... until the perfect position turns up. Who knows? When you are in new company, the job you are looking for might be right there waiting for you. I hope so. I will pray that your anxiety will abate and you will find the wherewithal to do whatever you need to at this time. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

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Permalink Reply by Joanie on June 20, 2012 at 6:53pm

That's what it was like at my last job... although I was an admin it was very artistic and let me be creative and I thrive on using my creativity so it was such the perfect balance.

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Permalink Reply by Laurie, Fudge, and Vern on June 20, 2012 at 6:44pm

Joanie, Someone posted this on FB today. I thought of you.

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Permalink Reply by Joanie on June 20, 2012 at 6:52pm

Awww! Thank you! That definitely made me smile! I gotta print that out and put it somewhere so when I'm feeling down and out I can look at it.

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Permalink Reply by Joanie on August 18, 2012 at 6:21pm

UPDATE

Hey everyone! So it's long past time for an update on my situation. I should have listened to my gut feeling. The job that I was questioning didn't work out. It didn't feel right and I left during lunch time and didn't return. I went to the library and since I live in a small town the librarian was able to sit down with me and totally help me revamp my resume. I owe her! After redoing my resume, interviews picked up! After that job I tried another job but halfway through the day I left. I knew it wasn't the right fit either. I was so just taking whatever I could find because I was desperate and not listening to what my gut was telling me. So, I left that second job and that day I got a phone call for an interview and an e-mail for another interview! One job was as a jack-of-all-trades office worker. No defined job persae. It was full-time, had ok pay and benefits but was in Jersey so I'd have to pay Jersey taxes. I interviewed and they loved me and I liked the place well enough. So, keeping my options open I had a phone interview with the other place. They liked me so much they asked if I could come in that day for an in-person interview. I said yes. This position was exactly in my field - Administrative Assistant, part-time (32 hours a week) but the salary was excellent, and I would actually be making a lot more than I was at the job I had been let go at in March. Long story short... I was offered both jobs!!! So which did I take: the jack-of-all-trades which was full-time, ok pay, and benefits or the Administrative Assistant position, part-time, excellent salary. I chose the Administrative Assistant position and haven't looked back! I've been there for a month now and love it and I'm getting such excellent feedback! Everyone really likes me! I love my hours... I work 10 to 5 Monday through Thursday and 10 to 2 every Friday. It's exactly in my field, what I enjoy doing! Everyone said in March when I was let go that I would find something even better... but I couldn't see it then. You know what, they were right! I learned a lot from that job and a lot from my journey afterwards until I got this job. A job is a job. You have to listen to your instincts and not just jump into something because you are desperate. Also, don't take everything to heart. Be yourself, work hard and it'll all work out eventually, even if you can't always see the light at the end of the dark tunnel. I'm still having problems with my self esteem. I never had that problem before when it came to work until March when I was let go. I let that company hurt me so badly, but I learned from it. I'm in a much more positive place now! So fingers crossed this keeps going as great as it is :) Good thing is... it's a small company with six main workers (including myself) and I'm the only Administrative Assistant!