Katie's CT scan

[Stacy]

Today I have a newfound sympathy for patients and parents at work. From my perspective I look up and three hours has gone by, and it seems totally normal that results from tests aren't back yet. From the patient side - they tell you that she should be finished by lunchtime barring emergencies (with other people's dogs) and then it's 3:00 and I've heard nothing. I was trying not to lose my mind, but honestly I was losing my mind! 

Unfortunately, we still have adenocarcinoma of the nose. I was really hoping that they would call and say, just kidding. It's a polyp and we can fix it. 

She said it's a rostral mass that starts at the incisors and ends at the tip of the nostril. There is no bone destruction, but it is on the nasal seputm. 

The doctor continues to be very optimistic that we can "cure" this with radiation. She also said she spoke with one of the surgeons who said we could remove it surgically by cutting off her nose! She said she probably wouldn't do that to her dog, but she wanted to put it out there. I will not ever do that to her. She also mentioned piroxicam and palladia as another possible option. She said she wasn't sure how well it would work, but that we could try it. 

I told her that I've been reading everything I can find and there are no good outcomes to nasal adenocarcinoma. One of the journal articles I read seemed to consider it a success that the dog was in remission for 10 weeks. And she said, basically, that since she is such an outlier I am going to have trouble finding studies that deal with the tumor in the same place and stage that Katie has. She also feels confident that with stereotactic radiation we won't irradiate her eye and cause her to go blind or see a lot of the other truly terrible side effects that come with radiation. 

It's definitely a lot to think about. And I'm going to speak with the people at Colorado State at least. I have always said that chemo and radiation is a road I wouldn't go down with my dogs. But then if there's a chance that we can do something and give her a normal long life I wonder if it would be a mistake not to take that opportunity. I wish she could tell me what she wanted to do. 

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

I think so too. 

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Also, there is a facility in Chicago that does stereotactic radiation: https://www.medvetforpets.com/specialty/radiation-oncology/

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

I am so sorry the suspicion about the diagnosis was confirmed.  My heart breaks for you and Katie.  Whatever decision you make will be well thought out.  Like you, I think I have a 'pre-decision' about what I would do if confronted with similar news, however, my heart as well as circumstances could make that change - or not.

[Stacy]

Thank you for your kind words. I feel like I'm wandering around asking everyone I know what to do, like they have some magic fix that they're hiding in their back pocket and if I just ask the right person they can make it all go away. I know it's ridiculous. But I want a do-over! My goal is to figure out what the right thing is for Katie - and to leave everything else out of it. I just don't want her to suffer. Especially if there is no real benefit to her suffering.

[Wendy and Myla]

We had to do this with our Zakita!  She was diagnosed with EPI at the age of two and we kept her happy and medicated for three more years.  She collapsed on a hiking trail at the age of five and when we brought her to the vet, she told us that her heart was failing.  We could keep her going indefinitely with medication, but we decided - heartbrokenly- that only we would benefit from this.  It is truly a decision that only you can make - definitely with your vet's opinion - but only you know Katie and what she can take.  I truly feel for you and know from reading your posts, you will do whatever you have to do for Katie!  Hugs in making a decision!  I am crying right now because it is bringing back so many memories but I truly know that we made the best decision for Zak!

 

[Stacy]

I'm so sorry that happened to your sweet girl. It's just so unfair. I'm the one who rolls my eyes at the idea that life and the world are supposed to be fair. But allow me to throw a tantrum like a two year old for a moment, complete with stomping feet. I've done everything right (everything except my breeder research, which seems to be the biggest problem.) I've been careful about the sourcing of their food. They have routine vet visits and grooming appointments. They sleep in the bed and are always supervised outside. I wish I could be one of my dogs. And then you see all the dogs who spend their whole life on a chain in the backyard getting the bare minimum of everything and living long sad lives. And this happens to us. It seems like the cruelest irony. 

I took Katie to see her regular vet today, just to ask what he thought. And he also didn't want to tell me what to do, but he did say that he wouldn't do it to his dog. So there's that. I am currently waiting for a response from the vet schools in Wisconsin and Colorado. So much waiting!

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

Stacy, my biggest fear is that my dogs might needlessly suffer and not understand why they are hurting so much.  I simply can't stand the thought of them suffering, if I can prevent it.  It outweighs anything else for me.  I feel guilt that perhaps I shortened my beloved dogs' lives by a bit because of my personal worries about treatments causing confusion and pain.

Whatever you choose to do will be the exact right thing for you and for Katie. You are a loving, caring pet owner.

[Stacy]

That is my fear too. I've reached out to specialists in a couple different states and they all say, well we can try this this and this. But I guarantee that the treatment would not be without suffering, and no one can promise me a favorable outcome. It seems like so much to ask of her for a maybe. On the other hand I feel like I should go to the end of the earth to do something to fix her. But I think that's really more about me than her. I feel guilty for not trying every single thing. But at the same time I think that we spend so much time figuring out if we can do something that we forget to think about if we really should. Mixed emotions much?

[Amy and Annabelle]

I am so sorry that you and Katie are going through this. Such difficult decisions to make. But I know you will make the best one, you are a loving mom. I lived just down I-25 from CSU and my daughter graduated from there. We were just out there in September visiting our family. At least Fort Collins is farther north from the Denver Metro, which is so congested now. My thoughts and prayers are with you. 

[Laurie, Wally & Charlotte]

Stacy, In my relief about Wally, I have not been able to stop thinking about you and Katie. I am of the firm belief that life is most definitely NOT fair and that terrible events often happen randomly -- to wonderful, thoughtful people who endeavor to do all the right things, and to their sweet innocent pets. It sounds like you have always done what's best for Katie and I am sure that as you face this unbelievably unfair situation, you will continue to do the same -- whatever that may be.