Let Sleeping Dogs Lie!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

There are two things I never disturb when they are sleeping...dogs and babies. I would also like to preface this discussion by saying early morning in bed with my DH and my dogs is my favorite part of the day, even if I wake up sometimes feeling like I have just gone three rounds with Mike Tyson. My dogs like to sleep on the floor. Once in a while, if Fudge is cold, she will sleep with us all night. Vern has maybe spent the entire night up in our bed four times in his life. Vern is a dog set in his ways and likes to go potty early in the morning. When we come back from doing his business, I allow both dogs up on the bed with us in the hopes that we can get a couple more hours of sleep and I like the cuddling time. The only one territorial about his bed space is my DH. If he has to get up for any reason, he drives me nuts with his desperate pleas, "Don't let anyone get in my space...guard it for me." I have thought about getting some orange traffic cones to save his place, but I am not sure if the police officer would like to hear that I need them for our bed as I try lifting them from a work site.

Once the dogs and my DH are all in bed, it is every man for himself. Vern, has no concept of his size, and will often plop down right on top of you.  My DH has been known to cry out in agony and announce he is wearing an athletic cup to bed from now on. I have had Vern sprawl across my chest and once or twice, I thought I was in cardiac arrest. Fudge somehow knows that Vern prefers the spot near my DH's feet, so she never fails to get there first and I swear she smirks when she looks at Vern. Well, that leaves the area below my feet available and often times I have my knees up by my chest in a fetal position so that Vern is comfortable and has enough room. I have often thought I could try out for the Cirque du soleil and for my audition tell them I need two large dogs, one man, and a king size bed and my talent is that I can contort my body to any position so that we all fit into one bed.

Don't even get me started on Fudge's quirks. She gets frightened when you sneeze, so sometimes in the early morning, I can be found holding my nose and having a minor head explosion just so no sound escapes my lips and she wants to get down. God help my husband if he sneezes, because he does not get a "God Bless You!", but rather a "Knock it Off...You are making Fudge uncomfortable."

My DH and I can now sleep with parts of our body hanging so far off the bed it is a miracle. We can defy gravity if needed. I have slept a couple of mornings with just a sheet for a cover because I couldn't pull anything else out from under our dogs. The last time my DH and I touched in the morning occurred because we both happened to be rubbing Fudge's tummy at the same time :)  Sometimes, I will look over at my DH and say, "Isn't this the best part of your day?" and the last time he answered something back like, "I guess if I was having a root canal and a colonoscopy, yes, this would be my favorite part of the day."

Thank you for listening. I would like to know if anyone else is willing to sacrifice a little comfort for the sweet feel of your doodles next to you??

 

[Nina, Phil, Harlow & Lacey]

Laurie we are right there with you.  After 20+ years of sleeping in a queen bed, DH and I just up-sized to a king so there would be more room for the dogs.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

We have a king size bed....now what do we upgrade to next?? For 23 years, my DH and I slept in a full size bed and we had a 75 pound lab that liked to join us. I don't know how that ever worked.

[F, Calla & Luca]

This sounds sooo familiar!! It's mostly Calla though. Luca manages to find unoccupied space and even though he's in bed all night he doesn't disturb anything/one. He also understands "Move over" spoken in a conversational not command mode.Calla is clumsy, can't be budged and likes to if not lie on, then lean into body parts. She also comes and goes often sometimes stepping on me as she does. If I get up she also likes to be exactly where I am about to lie down. The sacrifices we make.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

I love the part about stepping on you. Vern does that too. If you move too much for Fudge, she wants to get down and sleep on the floor, but like Luca is a polite bed mate.

[Leslie J]

Too funny, Colleen.  My grandmother used to sleep in a fluffy type of fabric shower cap so that her silvery gray hairdoo wouldn't mess up while she slept.  She called it her "fright cap" and was also quite certain that the sight of her with her cap and face cream would scare away the toughest of robbers!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Reminds me of that episode of Everybody Loves Raymond when Marie, with her face covered in face cream,  scared one of the grand kids.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Colleen, What a nice and funny reply. I like your mom and I never met her....I love people that can find humor in any situation :) I wish her the best. She obviously passed her sense of humor on to her daughter..LOL. I am going to have to look into an Eastern King.

[Jodi and Stella]

Laurie thanks for telling this very amusing story. You have a knack for writing that's for sure! (we are guillt as charged, God forbid the dog should be uncomfortable)

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Thanks, Jodi!

[Lisa, Daisy & Dexter]

I would do this in a heat beat. When we only had granddogs they were bed sleepers. Sophie vied for the by my face spot and so did Lilly, Sophie was the boss so you know who was where. When we discussed getting a dog when the "group" left our home the first thing DH said was NO DOGS IN THE BED much to my dismay. So along came Daisy. I sneaked her on the bed when she was little and DH would say don't even start so off to the crate she went. Well has "his" luck would have it Daisy does not like the bed, she prefers her bed, the floor, her crate any where except on the bed.

The night of Daisy's groom/shave down we were playing in the bedroom and she jumped up on the bed, looked around and just sat there. DH started to pet her and she laid down...in like 30 seconds she was out. You know who decided to get into bed, I was already there and HE was the contortionist as not to disturb Daisy (she had a rough day according to him). She stayed in the bed with us until about 1:30AM when I felt her get down. I just giggled to myself and didn't say a word the next day...Daisy took a nap with us yesterday (yes we had a lazy day) right there up on the bed.

So I am not sure, did I win, he win or is Daisy the ultimate champion?

 

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

I think Daisy is winning :)

[Lisa, Daisy & Dexter]

Here is Daddy and Daisy at around 3 this afternoon while I cleaned, grocery shopped and cooked.