Labradoodle & Goldendoodle Forum
A recent discussion brought to light something that I did not know: dogs do not like to be hugged. People posted examples and videos showing the stress that dog’s display while being hugged. I suppose I never thought of it before. I was raised with horses and my dad taught me to always approach from the side (not head on as they can get a better look at you this way) do not move suddenly, work in close to a horse and maintain physical contact when you are out of their sight so they feel where you are as well as sing, whistle softly or talk to give them further information that you are there.
I began to think about how Gavin approaches me when he wants physical contact. The most common thing he does is sit up nice and tall with his back to me as close as he can (sometimes sitting on my feet). I call this his ear scratch invitation. Another thing he does is rest his chin on some part of my body (lap, hand or even shoulder when in the car). I call this the chin scratch invitation. The third thing he does is put his head down and literally bury it in my chest. I call this the shoulder rub invitation. I also give him chest rubs, particularly during training.
When we were in puppy K, the trainer said it was important to “own” every part of your dog’s body so that he knows you have the right to touch it whenever you want. As a puppy, every evening, when Gavin was relaxed and lying on his bed, I would play the “I own this game.” I would systematically touch him all over, every toe, tug on his ears, curl back his lip, touch his teeth, tongue, nose, belly, you name it… and softly tell him “I own this, and this, and that and this.” Some of the spots I touched likely annoyed him a bit, but it became almost like a relaxation exercise.
So, how does your dog ask for affection? What is the best way to interact physically with your dog? How did you socialize him to being “handled,” particularly by children?
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Boca initiates attention with nose bonks...really dislike it. If I stop petting her before she's had enough she ever-so-quickly slips her nose under my arm/hand and bumps it up. I also dislike that. I don't like it when dogs are pushy and demanding that way. I don't like it when people are pushy and demanding either--no double standards here.
Rosco brings his head to as far into you as he can while you are sitting on the couch. He's imposing but less demanding...not sure how else to describe it. If you tell him to lie down he will and won't keep pushing the issue. But Boca just comes back a minute later...between doorbell rings to be let out (where she can be the outdoor dog she dreams of being).
Hi Adina, Winston does the same thing as Boca. I don't think of it as demanding so much as being needy. It does get annoying though. But he's so darned cute and hard to resist.
I found Mylie (the doodle we dog sit for our friends) to be on the needy side. She was kinda annoying (more so to my DH than me). I tried to give her stuff to do if she was bugging me too much.
Riley comes up to me and gets as close as he can, often giving me a paw. This means he wants a chin rub or just a pat. Every morning he gets on the bed and lies on top of me with his face right up to mine and licks me to wake me up. When I am on the couch he lies beside me with his head on my knee. When he was very little I also did the touching him all over thing but I do think it's just his nature that he doesn't mind being touched or hugged. When children come over he absolutely loves them whatever they do even though I keep a very watchful eye just in case. Because I don't have young children I used to bring him as a small puppy to the school gates and sit with him on my knee while the children came over.
I think it is in Gavin's nature too. It was smart of you to do exposure at the school yard Nicky. Very smart.
It's a great idea! A friend of mine has show dogs (big ones!) and when we were talking about local trainers she said that I should keep taking Finn to school when I picked up my son to socialize him to the kids and chaos of school getting out. It is Finn's favorite part of the day, he can't get there fast enough! This week he started giving little yaps at the kids to get them to pay attention to him and come pet him, which is funny because he is generally pretty quiet and observant. He was offended when someone walked past without coming over. He just loves the kids petting him, his tail wags at warp speed. I was worried it would be too overwhelming for him but he likes it so much I keep taking him. Hoping he might be therapy dog material down the road.
Great discussion BG! Winnie is a natural around kids but I'm still working on Sophie. I didn't play that game with her, but I did spend a lot of time making sure she was comfortable with all the touching. She tolerates my hugs, and infact, knows what the word "hugs" means. I think they both know that when I hug them it is filled with love. They must sense that...
But Sophie still gets very excited around kids, and she doesn't like it when they try to pet her, unless it is from the side.
Thanks Sherri - I always encourage kids I meet on the street to approach Gavin from the side. This was due to his rambunciousness as a puppy. I did not want him to jump up or lick their faces.
Kona is my very huge love-boy. When I am seated, he comes up to me and sits quietly. I will lean over and begin to pet him. This is when he firmly puts the bridge of his nose under my chin pressing on my neck to get as close as possible. I can rub him all over from this position and he never moves. This caress is just so endearing. It's funny, when he was doing this yesterday, I was thinking about the no-hugging dogs thing. This request for a hug is as clear as can be. He wants to snuggle. Tucking that big head under my chin and leaning into me for the whole body rub down, hug, anything he can get. He is tender and quiet and measured in his movements. He is never demanding.
Bonnie, I love what you said: He is tender and quiet and measured in his movements. He is never demanding.
That is a lovely way to put it. It makes me think of Winston. Unfortunately there is nothing tender, quiet or measured about Sophie. She is frantic, boisterous and intrusive in everything she does. Her way of getting and showing affection is to stick her face right in mine and cover me in slobery kisses.
Except for the kisses, sounds like Boca! She's LOUD without making a single woof. I try to keep the dogs quiet while kiddos are napping because I want to maintain the napping as long as possible most days and geeeze...if I uncrate Boca around that time I swear even her breathing can be heard a block away!
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