My Least Favorite Things!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

No one has ever accused me of having a voice like an angel, or even like Julie Andrews in the movie, Sound of Music.  In fact, last Christmas my oldest daughter bought me a Karaoke machine and no one will help me set the thing up.  I begged again this Christmas and the two people who reside in this house with me told the two people who got to fly back to Oregon after Christmas to please not help me or else.  Even without my microphone, I sing everyday and I love to make up songs.  Usually, I belt them out in the morning while I am getting ready for the day.  This works well for me when it is just Fudge and Vern in the house, but on the weekends I have to sing through the pain of the audience all but throwing rotten tomatoes at me and heckling me with comments like, “will you please shut up…your voice is so shrill I think you just broke my eardrums…Hayley, check outside. Is there an animal dying?....God in heaven, make it stop.”   Oh well, all good artists know you have to keep working at your craft.  Well, last night the lyrics to my next song came to me while I was sleeping and I wanted to write them down before I forgot them.  Please feel free to sing them along with me to the tune of My Favorite Things from the Sound of Music.

 

My Least Favorite Things

 

Raindrops on muddy paws and poop bags and mittens

Bright yellow throw up and warm hissing kittens

Brown paper packages with urine samples inside

These are a few of dog things I abide

 

Cream colored messy dogs and crisp winter days

Walks in all weather and rough housing called play

Wild geese that fly above and taunt my poor dogs

Sometimes prompting my least favorite jogs

 

Dogs in all colors with their long golden tethers

Cause me to issue corrections and swear like a mother

Silver white snowballs that cling to their fur

These are a few of the things I endure

 

When the dogs fight

When the pee stains

When I want to cry

I simple remember I love these two dogs

And then I don’t ask myself “why?”

Feel free to add a stanza or two because singing really is a great stress reliever, even if you don't sound like Barbra Streisand.

[Deanna & Desi & Cori]

I started singing the moment I saw the discussion title!  Just knew we were in for a treat and you didn't disappoint - well, except for the "tethers" / "mother" rhyme attempt.  Now this little "ear worm" will be stuck in my head all day!!!

[Deanna & Desi & Cori]

Oh, by the way, when I was in high school (just a few years back), the annual musical my freshman year was "Sound of Music" - or as my Latin teacher called it "Sound of Mucus".  I played in the orchestra.  If you'd like, I could rummage through the shed, find my clarinet, and fly out to your house to accompany you while you sing.  Then your family would REALLY have something to complain about!!!  :)  

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Deanna, I played the clarinet, too, for four years up until eighth grade. I never practiced and hated every minute of band, but I was too afraid of the music teacher to tell him I wanted to quit. I am sure he wished I would quit, but I stuck with it until I graduated from eighth grade and then had my mom sell the blasted thing. So, thank you for the kind offer, but I will decline at this point :)

[F, Calla & Luca]

I was brave enough, when my father challenged me to call the piano teacher and tell her, after I told him I wanted to quit lessons. I called her pronto. She was formidable but not so scary over the phone. Her daughter became a famous concert pianist--another opportunity lost : )

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

F, If only I had followed in your footsteps, I could have saved myself years of concerts and boring band class. F, the concert pianist...somehow, I just don't see it :)

[F, Calla & Luca]

My sister did go on to teach music in college with piano as her major instrument. She even composed a children's opera : )

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Wow...that is really neat!

[Deanna & Desi & Cori]

I gave my daughter permission to quit taking piano lessons several years before she actually quit. The reason for the hesitancy on her part?? - not because she was intimidated by the piano teacher, but because she didn't want to disappoint the little old ladies at church who "loved to hear her play".

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Oh, and by the way, I did not miss the "few years back" comment, but just chose to make up a little song:

Deanna sure has a way with words, oh my

Fabrications, exaggerations, and a big white lie

If you believe she graduated from high school a few years back

Then I have a swamp to sell you in Florida that comes with a shack

[Deanna & Desi & Cori]

Laurie, how do you know that I didn't drop out of school 40 years ago, only to return to high school "a few years back" to finally get my diploma???

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

See line two of my song above :) LOL

[F, Calla & Luca]

Your Latin teacher was funny.