Need help with transitioning new puppy into our home. Miah is NOT happy!

[Judy Gordon]

We picked up our new Doodle puppy yesterday. Ripley is gorgeous -a different genotype with much straighter hair than Miah. We are pleased to be Guardians to this handsome pup. He is 15 weeks old.

We took Miah with us to pick him up so they could meet on neutral territory, and they seemed to get along fine, playing together. Miah was very loving and gentle toward the puppy, that is, until we piled into the car. On the ride home I sat in the back and in the middle of the two because Miah growled when they were side by side. She glared at the puppy the whole way while the puppy happily chewed on a small bully stick and took a nap. I had my arm around Miah for most of the 1.5 hour drive home and gently talked to her reassuring her that she would always be my girl and how much I love her. She finally relaxed enough to put her head in my lap.

At home, we all went outside right away and they ran around and played and I even got a few photos of them sitting together. I'm thinking how great it was that they were getting along. I thought Miah played a bit rough a few times and gently told her to "play nice". Ripley was holding his own for a 15lb puppy against a 45lb two year old. As the evening wore on I sensed Miah's anxiety which she showed by avoiding him, placing herself between me and the pup, and growling when Ripley approached her. At bedtime, they both were in bed with hubby and me for a while, and suddenly Miah growled in a way I had never heard before, startling Ripley who cowered at edge of the bed. Then I said NO, firmly and made Miah look at me while I talked to her. I spoke calmly yet firmly but it was very upsetting. She then jumped off the bed and we didn't see her again until morning.

This morning she did it again. This time I put her in her crate (door open) and told her to STAY. A few minutes later I called her and she completely ignored me. Obviously Miah is showing resentment, protectiveness maybe, and resource guarding which she NEVER did before. She has not an aggressive bone in her body. This behavior may be common but we want to nip this in the bud right away. How can we address this without punishing Miah or traumatizing Ripley? Your sage advice is greatly needed and appreciated. Thanks!

[Lori, Quincy & Frankie]

I wish I had advice-but I can only offer sympathy.  I sometimes think about another pup, this is worrisome.  I will be interested to see what the experienced DK community has to say.  Good luck-I am sure it will work out.  

[Judy Gordon]

Thanks! I'm looking forward to hearing some other's experiences with this issue. We'd been thinking about another Doodle for a while, considering Miah has been "overly indulged" let's just say :) The opportunity to be guardians to a new pup in the breeding program presented itself and we were thrilled. I believe that in time they will become good friends. We just want to know what we need to do now to help with the transition. They are both sweet loving dogs. Ripley follows Miah everywhere she goes. Sometimes she seems OK with it. Seems when he wants to be close to hubby and me, she gets anxious and growl - ly. Thanks.

[Julie, Eloise & Beasley]

I just read your post and I'm sorry to hear Miah may be having some anxiety with the addition of Ripley.  In no way am I experienced with this (just a couple weeks in with my new addition), and I know others will chime in who are far more knowledgeable.  But from reading about adding a second dog, and what the breeder also shared with me, was not to treat the puppy "special" or chastise Eloise (my 2 yr old doodle) for growling or otherwise "asserting" herself with the puppy.  The puppy is joining your pack, and has to learn the rules of that pack and his position in it. 

The breeder said to expect growling etc from Eloise and to let the two dogs work it out.  Eloise sounds similar to your Miah - not aggressive at all (she's never actually growled at anything besides "yard intruders"), and I think it's probably a good sign that their initial meeting sounded positive.  I feel really fortunate that hasn't really growled at Beasley, the puppy, yet. (I've gotten more looks from her like, "WTD?!", but otherwise she's been tolerant.)  But I had to really bite my tongue at first not to correct Eloise during play, because the sight of the 60 lb doodle playing with the 7 lb baby was unsettling at times.  I just tried to trust that they would understand how physically different they are - and they did.  There were a few yelps from the puppy when Eloise got too rough (and obviously you have to use judgement to step in if the puppy could be hurt).  I was told that the puppy yelping helps Eloise understand to back off, and she totally did - the yelps startled her and kind of "reset" her play.  There have also been a couple other times where I've just ended the play because they were both getting too riled up, and I decided play time was over.

I would treat Miah like you always have - feeding her first, praising her, playing with her...and kind of ignore that the puppy is there when you're engaged with Miah, and let Ripley work his way in.  Then lots of praise for Miah when she's exhibiting positive / accepting behaviors towards the puppy.

It's also totally normal for them to need separation periods during the transition period at home, too.  You mentioned that they were both on the bed the first night home - does the puppy have a crate, or were you planning to have them both sleep on the bed?  My gut reaction (and totally novice opinion) was that might be too much too soon for Miah, if she's used to sleeping on your bed.  I decided that Beasley had to "earn" her way up to my bed where Eloise often sleeps, and that was the one area where I wanted Beasley not to go just yet.  (Plus, Beasley is being crate trained, so I just didn't want her on the bed at all - ha!)

Your guy is also a little older than Beasley was at first, so being 15 wks he may have more "personality" / his own behaviors established than she did at 8 wks, so that probably adds a different wrinkle.  Having a new puppy is just hard on its own (believe me, I know!) so I do hope Miah has an easier time adjusting.  Good luck - I'm sure Miah will come around and the two doggies will work it out in time!

[Judy Gordon]

Thank you for sharing your story. And CONGRATS on your new pup. Two weeks in, eh? I can imagine what you are going through. After reading your reply I think we are handling this fairly well. Miah is being praised when she plays nice. I will not scold her in front of Ripley but I want her to know that I expect her to behave. I also don't give Ripley a lot of attention when Miah is around. I hate that because he's an adorable puppy and I want to love on him. He was given to us because he needed more attention than the breeder could give him with all the pups she has and although we want Ripley to bond with hubby, it's hard not to give him the affection he needs just because Miah is watching. I'll have to work on that. Ripley sleeps in a crate but on his first night we wanted him to not feel lonely :) that's my story and I'm sticking to it! LOL!

[Julie, Eloise & Beasley]

I'm sure you guys are doing great with both of them, and it's so terrific that Ripley's come to you so he can have the attention he deserves!  I do totally relate to your concerns about not wanting to upset Miah and balance that with loving on the puppy.  I agree, Jennifer's post below, and the others' posts here, have a lot of great wisdom - and I'm STILL totally guilty of personalizing the dogs' feelings.  Especially Eloise's. ;)  Even though she doesn't show signs of not liking the puppy (I actually think she needs to be more assertive with Beasley, but I don't know how you teach that), I'm afraid I'm stressing her out with all the correction that's going on here now, and the stern voices she hears with the puppy (and sometimes her, when I'm telling her it's time to stop playing).  I worry it's not clear that I'm addressing the puppy when I get out the growly voice, because I see Eloise's horribly sad eyes looking back at me. So I do the same...give her extra cuddles and tell her she's my girl.  It makes me feel better if nothing else, lol. 

Sigh...two IS hard!!  But it's worth it, and in a few short months, this will all be behind us!  In the meantime, I think I need a glass of wine. ;)

[Judy Gordon]

We are in the very same boat, you and I. I'm feeling anxious and uncertain about the situation that I have created, and projecting my feelings onto the dogs. By doing that, I may have unintentionally made things worse! But reading the kind words of support and encouragement from The DK community assured me that I don't have to struggle alone. The dogs will work it out and I will supervise their time together from a distance and try not to stress too much about it.
Thank you for your comments, and enjoy the wine!

[Lucy & AnnaBelle's Mom]

Oh can I feel your pain.   We originally had Lucy and Sophie who were liter mate Sisters.  We lost Sophie in March of 2013 to Lymphoma.  We watched Lucy for signs of stress and for the most part she did really well.  Then at the end of April of 13 we added a foster sibling and she and Lucy did really well.  That is the first time Lucy has ever accepted one of our fosters.  Always before she growled and guarded when they were around.  Fast forward another week into the 1st part of May and we added little AnnaBelle at 8 weeks and about 5 lbs.  To say that Lucy hated her would be putting it mildly.  Honey loved her, Lucy still loved Honey, but Lucy hated AnnaBelle.  I honestly don't think she knew what to do with her because she was so small.  The one saving grace was that Outside Lucy was fine.  It was in the house that she got testy.  She didn't like my holding AnnaBelle and if I sat down beside her with AnnaBelle she would get up and leave.  If we got to close she would growl.  We had Honey here for two months.  We tried to establish somewhat of a normal situation, but I will admit that AnnaBelle spent a lot of time when she was indoors in her ex pen that we had set up in the living room.  It gave her a lot of room to still play and nap and kept Lucy from considering her as a snack.  We treated Lucy like always.  We fed her first, gave her treats first.  We let her decide what toys the others got to play with.  Her house, her rules.  There was some food guarding at meal time so we fed AnnaBelle in her ex pen or crate.  At night Lucy & Honey were in the room where Lucy and Sophie always slept and Annabelle was in her crate in our room.  Over time, Honey went on for her surgery and to her forever home, as AnnaBelle got a little bigger she and Lucy did better and better.  Now, AnnaBelle is 15 months and there is no more food guarding, no more growling and they play very well together.  I would say they are closer than Lucy ever was with Sophie even though she and Sophie were liter mates.  I know how heart breaking it is that Miah doesn't seem to want to be friends.  I really struggled with that when we had fosters.  I hated seeing Lucy unhappy. Hopefully yours will play better outside as well and since it is summer you can spend lots of time outdoors.  One other piece of advice I would give is as you are socializing them that you sometimes take the new puppy separately.  I think we made a mistake in always taking them together.  AnnaBelle I discovered when I started taking her a few places alone is a little shy and nervous when she isn't with Lucy.  I've got to now work a little harder to build her confidence.

[Judy Gordon]

So sorry for the loss of your Sophie and thank you for sharing your story. I appreciate your advice about socializing them separately. I've read that when we walk them, Miah should be walked in front to help Ripley understand his place in the pack. (Cesar Milan) Funny that you mentioned it, but if I give Ripley any affection at all Miah will get up and leave the room. I've been extra loving toward her just to reassure her that she's my girl. And when I can, I will take her with me to run errands. It's getting very warm out so that won't happen so much now. I agree though, it's heartbreaking to see Miah unhappy. She's always been happy and exuberant. And I want Ripley to know that I love him too. He looks so bewildered and sad when she snaps at him. But he has to learn boundaries, and you're right. Miah's house, Miah's rules. Miah first. Thanks!

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

And  would add to that to take Eloise alone sometimes also, leaving Miss Beasley home alone.  We made sure to TAKE our newest dog places alone, but failed to leave him home alone which is also a needed skill.

When we got Ned as a puppy, we had two other dogs.  The oldest and our 'alpha' put Ned in his place with a 'look' and once when he was being really annoying, a nip on the snout (the same thing a mother dog does).  Our other dog went into a depression for about a year.  We kept reassuring him with lots of attention and he got over it.  He growled at Ned but never did anything else.  I would pick up high value treats and not leave them alone together until you are positive there won't be a fight.  I would bet that most of the growls are just setting the tone for who is in charge.

[Judy Gordon]

I must have missed your response earlier. It's hard thinking that a choice I made could potentially send Miah into depression. To not have my exuberant, energetic happy girl would be awful. That must have been hard your dog and on you. I have to remember what our trainer, groomer and others have commented. Getting another dog is not a bad thing. Dogs are pack animals. They just take other dogs into the pack on their own terms. As long as Ripley is not harmed we should just relax and enjoy them. They grow up and grow old so fast. The one positive is that they tire each other out (instead of me) with all of their shenanigans. Looking on the bright side! Thanks!

[Monica & Quincy & Charmin too]

Oh no!  We are picking up our puppy on the 12th and introducing him to our 3 year old Quincy.

Now I'm nervous and scared.

[Judy Gordon]

Well, you are in the right place here on DK. I'm grateful for the wealth of experience from members here and feel better already just reading the responses I've gotten. I don't know about others but our reason for wanting another Doodle is because we love the breed, we wanted Miah to have a buddy to play with (other than me) and, based on her behavior with other dogs and small children we felt that she would be a nurturing "mommy" to a puppy. From what I've read, it will happen with time if we can weather the storm in the meantime. Puppies grow so fast that in a few months Ripley will be bigger and strong enough that I won't worry so much about him getting hurt. In fact, he's already showing signs of possessiveness over his toys. Miah could care less about hers. Good luck with your new pup and stay tuned!