Not our best day!

[Stacy]

So, this morning my little almost 15 year old papillon, Olivia, passed away. No matter how you think you're ready, you're never ready! 

But it's kind of like Ava didn't want someone else to have all the attention she decided to chew on her left top nipple (we're still struggling with the allergy thing but she's never done that before!) And she made it bleed. I wish I could get better pictures, but that's the best I could do. It has this white "mass" looking thing that it looks like it wants to birth, and it almost looks ulcerated. Of course this is the nipple that the surgeon was concerned about when she had her revision of her spay. His concern was that it was firm. And now I'm totally freaked out that it's a tumor. But these things always happen after business hours and this is not an emergency vet event. It is a regular vet event and I just have to get through the next 11 hours before the vet opens again. In the meantime Ava has gotten more use out of this dumb cone than any dog should ever have! 

Tomorrow regardless of everything else, I'm going to have him start her on a steroid pack and see if we can get her itching under control. The antihistimines help some, but they just aren't cutting it. Then we can talk about a referral to a dermatologist. I thought things would get better seasonally, but they just haven't. 

This poor girl. And it all goes back to people who breed irresponsibly. I'm sure Ava had her first puppies as early as they could breed her, and her allergies probably didn't show up until long after that. Now how many puppies are more predisposed to having problems with allergies because of the greed of her breeder? Katie being one of them. She doesn't seem to have problems with itching yet, but who knows what will happen.. 

Anyway, I'm rambling. But I attached pictures, if anyone has any ideas - or thinks it's something totally innocuous, like a zit, I would love to hear your ideas. 

xoxo, Stacy

[F, Calla & Luca]

I am sorry to hear about Olivia. I think giving any opinion about the nipple would be just speculation and you should wait to see the vet. It could just be an abscess but really without an examination there is no way to tell. Good luck and let us know please.

[Stacy]

Thank you. Olivia was such a sweet little thing. Her only fault was that pottying outside was always only a suggestion. But she was so sweet you couldn't hardly hold it against her. 

I will be okay with an abcess. That's easily fixable. This poor girl. She's gone through more than her share since she's been here. She might wish she had gotten a different mom! I think she's been to the vet more since she's been living with me than in her entire life before! 

[Linda, Charlie Brown and Beau]

Hi Staci ~ I am so sorry to hear Olivia crossed the Rainbow Bridge.  Please update us on Ava condition as soon as you have seen a vet.  Maybe a steroid will help, but I would definitely not hold off going to the vet.  It looks quit painful and she will probably not be able to leave it alone.   I will be watching for an Ava update and hopefully it is nothing serious.. 

[Stacy]

Oh no - we will definitely be at the vet first thing in the morning. I think it's bothering me more than it's bothering her, but we need to get her patched up. I just didn't think it merited an after hours emergency vet visit. But I will let you know what I hear in the morning. 

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

I'm sorry, Stacy. No, I don't think you are ever ready for the death of a loved pet. May she rest in peace. :(
I agree that Ava should see the vet, and I also agree with F that any of us speculating about what it might be isn't going to be very helpful. I will say that it doesn't look like allergies to me, and I have a pretty fair amount of experience with allergies in dogs. Please let us know what the vet says. I hope you can find a good solution that brings Ava some relief. Hugs to you both. 

[Stacy]

No, I don't think you can ever be ready. I had been trying for the last couple weeks to write a post about knowing when the time has come, but I couldn't even get the words out. Because to aknowledge it made it real. And then I was waiting for some sign, but I wasn't even sure what the sign was. They just don't live long enough. I don't have any regrets. I told her every day of her life that I loved her. She always had a spot on my pillow. I'm sad. I miss her. I keep looking for her. But I really take joy in a life well lived. 

I see now what you mean about her allergies and the biting of her nipple not being connected. I wasn't firing on all my cylinders last night! We are back from the vet. He thinks that it's cystic and not a tumor - and it did kind of look like one of those Dr. Pimple Popper videos. He put her on antibiotics (again! Katie has never been on antibiotics in her life, and Ava has been on them half the time she's been here!) He said if it's not better in a week we will surgically remove the whole nipple area. I really don't want her to have surgery again. So I have my fingers crossed that it heals up and looks okay. I also got some prednisone for her itching. We did talk some about the dermatologist and intradermal testing. So I feel like that's on the table to be determined. 

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

This sounds like a good plan, and I'm glad that the vet's leaning away from it being a tumor. 

No regrets, no guilt, and finding joy in a life well lived  is about the best we can hope for when we lose an animal we love. That's what helps us get through the rest of those feelings, and I hope it brings you comfort. <3 

[Linda, Charlie Brown and Beau]

I so hope sweet Ava heals quickly and no surgery is necessary.  You two have been through a lot lately and it is so stressful. Fortunately nothing stays constant - but when a person is on the journey it can seem like a very long one.  Hang in there.

[Stacy]

It does seem like everything always happens at once! We'll get through it though. Ava seems totally unaffected by the whole thing. She snuggles in with me and the only thing she objects about is when I stop petting her! 

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

I am so sorry about Olivia.  My sympathies to you.  You are right, you aren't ever really prepared. 

I am sending wishes for a boring vet appointment for Ava.

[Stacy]

Thank you so much. 

Ava did have a pretty boring vet appointment. He thinks it's just a little cyst. And I feel like it's already looking better. No more sickness for my sweetest of all sweet dogs. I just want to love on her forever.

[F, Calla & Luca]

This sounds very promising.