Should Vern be the Next Bachelor??

It was recently suggested by a couple of members of DK that Vern be the new Bachelor on the ABC TV show.

I have mixed emotions about this, because Vern is never leaving home and that means his new love is going to have to live here. Because of that, I have to take Fudge's feelings into consideration and she is not always fond of Vern's playmates. It would take a special gal to win all of our hearts because we definitely are a package deal. I also feel in all fairness to all concerned, Vern be up front about some of his requirements and his inclinations.

1) Vern is a big drinker and doesn't care if the water comes from his water bowl or the toilet.

2) Vern is a night owl. Expect to be up every night for some reason or another.

3) Vern is a high roller as well as a low roller. In other words, Vern will roll anywhere and in anything, including hay (If you know what I mean).

4) Vern is very masculine and protective of those he loves. He is on duty 24/7 and will alert you to every noise, every car in the driveway out of place, even if it is the resident car, certain things on TV and you will never know what those things are until his bark causes you to almost have a heart attack, dogs he sees in the mirror, dogs he sees in the window glass, owl posters at the vet's office, men in lawn chairs, random people including those he knows, and anyone with a hoodie or hat.

5) Vern can be pushy. If he sees somewhere he wants to be, he gets there. If you are in his way, so be it.

6) Appearance means nothing to Vern and that will become apparent to you after spending a few days with Vern.

7) Vern can be dirty. Very dirty!

8) Vern is a lover. He is big on PDA.

9) Vern doesn't always brush his teeth. That may be a problem after he eats Kleenex or mud.

10) Vern is very close to his sister and that bond can not be broken.

Vern is looking for a gal who accepts him just they way he is, because there will be no changing our Vern. This gal must be fun loving and like to dance. Vern is a big dancer. Oh, and we will not split his sweet potatoes, cheese, or Spud's cookies. Don't ask!

After all of this, please tell us if you think Vern should be the next Bachelor. Remember fame can ruin dogs. I heard Lassie was loose and free, if you know what I mean. Rin Tin Tin was married numerous times and fathered many puppies out of wedlock.

I won't even ask if Fudge should be the next Bachelorette, because she is far too classy to end up on that show. She is a smart cookie who knows her on mind and what she wants. After all, a gal who dresses as smartly as Fudge won't need any help in the love department. She has got it going on.

Still, Fudge would like to wish you all a Happy Valentine's Day, even though she opts out of being the next Bachelorette!!

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Permalink Reply by Laurie, Fudge, and Vern on February 14, 2014 at 7:58pm

Thanks, Jill!

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Permalink Reply by Cheryl and Finnegan on February 14, 2014 at 5:40pm

Happy Valentine's Day, Vern, you handsome bachelor, you! But we know you are head over heels in love with the current women in your life! Happy Valentine's Day to all of you! XOXO

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Permalink Reply by Laurie, Fudge, and Vern on February 14, 2014 at 7:59pm

Thanks, Cheryl. I think Finn feels the same way about his mom :)

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Permalink Reply by Lonnie & Libby Lu on February 14, 2014 at 8:07pm

Libby would love to be an Arnold and have Fudge as her SIL! She is very adaptable, although Vern might have to move out to the West Coast. Libby is a California girl and as you know how she feels about rain, the snow might not work for her! Laurie we would be In Laws! LOL