SMACKING STUPID PEOPLE IN THE FACE SO HARD THEY MIGHT GET SMARTER

[Wendy]

Nice name for a new private group. This new group is really a nice way to get new doodle owners to participate and not be hesitant to ask questions about their new doodle puppy.

I am one of those newbies. I guess i won't ask any questions... just search for answers and hope someone else has already asked.

[ClarkP]

Mmmmmmm.... Donuts! Om nom nom...

[fergie11]

I like ice cream - actually chocolate.

[Adrianne Matzkin]

I want to thank every single person who wrote in this discussion today - I only had a few minutes at work to check into DK today (I know, I know, you are amazed!!) and I just got home from the dog park and tuned into the 'adventures of...' - I really enjoyed this lively discussion. It is nice to know that all families can have an argument and still love each other. We all have the right to disagree.
Karen said it - this is all about the Doodles! We must educate, educate, educate.
Now, can we all PLEASE play nice?
Oh, I have a batch of liver drops in the oven!!

[Lynne Fowler-Oodles of Doodles]

A, I will be right over! It is funny that these lively discussions usually involve us.

[Adrianne Matzkin]

come on over - maybe you can figure a way for me to get Samantha to eat steak that I put on a plate in the middle of her crate.
Oh, I will start a new discussion on this one!!
Okay boys and girls - are we done yet???

[fergie11]

Did you put the egg shells in those liver drops?

[Adrianne Matzkin]

What is WITH the egg shell thing?? yuck! I take such pains to make sure they are not in my eggs.

[Lynne Fowler-Oodles of Doodles]

Calcium.

[Kyoko]

Thank you. I'm not good at all of these argument...or debate....

[fergie11]

This discussion has got like the "Why so expensive" thing. I do think someone should end it for the sake of DK.

[Adina P]

I'm busy at work one day... and look at all the trouble you scamps get into! ;-)

Now that it's all over but the shoutin', I feel like I need to say something. Doodle Kisses is a fun place where people can get together and connect over our shared passion: Doodles. Doodle Kisses is here for everyone, newbie and experienced alike. Essentially I agree with What He Said (without the horrible baby jokes.)

We can have differing views and yet be courteous and respectful to each other. In fact, if you want to take part here, you have to be nice to each other. You don't have to agree... just be nice. Be respectful and don't put others down.

This group, even when private, did break our first two rules: 1) Be Nice, and 2) Keep it clean. We are quite clear about this. You DON'T have to agree with anyone. You DO have to be respectful of them.

I want to share my views on a few things:

1) An offensive statement (whether viewed as offensive by some or many) doesn't magically become less offensive by virtue of a future disclaimer that it is merely 'for fun' or 'a joke'-- it doesn't. Think of something someone could say to you that would hurt you deeply or offend your values...does it become hilarious once you are told 'It was just a joke?' Probably not. I found Clark's baby jokes to be awful and not at all funny, but I got the point and wasn't too personally offended. He told a 'joke' that was obviously offensive to make the point that calling it 'a joke' doesn't make it suddenly funny and acceptable.

2) Everyone has a right to their feelings, to be frustrated, angry (irate even) at things around them. You are not prohibited from feeling that the choices others make might be stupid, ignorant or worse. Your feelings are your right and you are entitled to them. But the moment you express those feelings in a way that is rude, demeaning, or puts down another DK member and you do this ON this site...it becomes my problem too. Even if someone is 100% correct in their righteous indignation about another's choices, it is STILL ONE person's values vs. another person's values.

Even my information about "What to Look for In a Breeder," while excellent and true in my eyes...still only reflects MY values and ideals and if somebody makes a different choice, as much as I may think it's the wrong choice, it is STILL their right and it's not my job to tell them how terrible they are. I can try to educate them and influence their position, but it's ultimately their choice.

A little rhetorical pop quiz:
Who's self-righteousness is better?

a) The positive trainer who calls anyone who uses correction based training "a stupid, idiotic dog abuser and crazy for even considering such a method because now we have 'modern' methods that are gentle"?

OR

b) The e-collar trainer who calls positive trainers "stupid, pansy cookie pushers who wouldn't know a trained dog if they saw one because they're too busy trying to be holy?"

Who is the ultimate Moral Judge who gets to choose the right answer for everyone? For me it's a matter of personal beliefs. What I believe seems obviously RIGHT to me because, well, I only choose beliefs that make sense to me logically and emotionally. How come everyone doesn't agree with my obviously correct positions! But everyone else thinks their position is correct as well.

My point is that Doodle Kisses is here for ALL doodle lovers. A love of doodles (and dogs) is THE value that binds us. Beyond that our backgrounds and beliefs are quite varied. I want all members to feel safe asking questions and getting advice. I want members with different beliefs on doodle related issues to feel safe voicing their opinions. But this must be done with respect to the opinions of others that might be completely different or just developing on the issue. It's okay to think that certain forms of training are more ethical and/or more effective than others. It's also okay to debate ideas and share your arguments for or against a certain way of training...but not in a way that tears down the person who has a different opinion on the matter or who is just learning about it.

We all got to where we are in life via many different paths. Even if your way is best...until the right moment when the stars align and I finally see that for myself and change, until then, I hope you will respect me and I will respect you.

Adina

And now... this discussion is closed and I'm off to have fun with my doodles!