Too Many Depressing Discussions--today's antidote

[F, Calla & Luca]

Sorry for you young'uns but I liked this. I am grateful my phone does not say "recalculating.

"Should I Really Join Facebook?

A good laugh for people in the over 50 group !!! When I bought my Blackberry, I thought about the 30-year business I ran with1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music, takes videos, pictures and communicates with Facebook and Twitter. I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses, 13 grand kids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.

That was before one of my grandkids hooked me up for Tweeter, Tweetree, Twhirl, Twitterfon, Tweetie and Twittererific Tweetdeck, Twitpix and something that sends every message to my cell phone and every other program within the texting world.

My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.

The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it's red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife and everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. I had to take my hearing aid out to use it, and I got a little loud.

I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside that gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, "Re-calc-u-lating." You would think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then if I made a right turn instead... well, it was not a good relationship.
When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.

To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven't figured out how I can lose three phones all at once and have to run around digging under chair cushions and checking bathrooms and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.

The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time I check out just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused, but I never remember to take them in with me.

Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, "Paper or Plastic?" I just say, "Doesn't matter to me. I am bi-sacksual." Then it's their turn to stare at me with a blank look. I was recently asked if I tweet. I answered, No, but I do toot a lot." 

P.S. I know some of you are not over 50. I sent it to you to allow you to forward it to those who are. 

We senior citizens don't need any more gadgets. The TV remote and the garage door remote are about all we can handle."

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

I know this is meant to be humorous, but it is exactly how I feel. Truly. I am in daily combat with gadgets and they are not making my life easier or less stressful. And I'm talking about cordless phones and desktop computers here. Two days ago, my DD upgraded my browser, whatever that means, and now nothing works right. I am beyond frustrated.

I do not text, and I would have no idea how to do it if I wanted to, which I don't. I have no tablets, no iphones,  no E-readers, and no headphones- people my age are not thrilled about walking around with things sticking out of their ears.

I do have a laptop, but I never use it, because I am too uncoordinated to move the cursor without a mouse.

How I yearn for the days when life was so much simpler, and you knew that anyone who was walking around alone speaking out loud was not playing with a full deck. There was such a thing as privacy back then, not to mention peace and quiet. And it was so easy to avoid people.

I still marvel at the fact that we all managed to safely leave our kids with babysitters and go out to dinner back when there were no cell phones. In fact, I marvel that the obstetricians made it to the hospitals in time to deliver those babies without pagers or cell phones.

IMO, there are only two kinds of people who need to be accessible 24/7: People who are waiting for organ transplants, and people who are on the transplant teams. The rest of us are just not that important.

Thanks for posting this, F, I feel much better, even if my browser is still blocking Flash. (WTD????)

 

 

 

 

[F, Calla & Luca]

I, too do not text! But I do have a tablet and can use it as a reader but I prefer hard copy. I had a "discussion" with a cousin of the next generation who believes it's OK to text during dinner. We no longer eat out together and I have been informed that everyone does this. I do love my new headphones that allow me to peacefully watch TV as doodles sleep if need be. I could not live without me laptop, though. My desktop feels unloved. What browser do you use?

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Well, I have been using Explorer, but now I've also downloaded Chrome. (I think it's downloaded...or is it uploaded? See, even that confuses me. Of course, I still have to think about it when a store clerk asks "debit or credit"? To me, a credit is something they are giving you. Or at least it was in the olden days.)

Anyway, neither Explorer nor Chrome is working properly, and I am ready to call the Geek Squad.

I wish I could use a laptop. I just cannot move that cursor with my finger, especially not to play games, which I enjoy.

Are there touch screen tablets that cost less than my SUV?

[F, Calla & Luca]

Downloaded. Try Mozilla Firefox. I have used it for years now. I did have trouble with Bank of America the other day and went to Chrome just for that. Sometimes a site will do an upgrade rendering it temporarily incompatible with a certain browser.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

The Expert on Everything in the World who lives with me (and don't you wonder how she got that way?) insists that Firefox is designed to be used with Apple computers. She makes dire threats about what she will or will not do if I have trouble with any browser other than Explorer.

And she's bigger than I am.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Karen, My husband has a laptop and a wireless mouse. He cannot move the cursor with his finger either. I love my laptop and when my husband gave it to me for Christmas a few years back, I was mad :) I wanted an antique sled and got a laptop. I kept asking him where was my sled. Now, it is the best gift he has ever gotten me and he might regret it, as I never put it down..LOL!!

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

I have a wireless mouse for the laptop, too. Now the problem is, what flat surface do I use for the mouse? My abs are still in pretty good shape, but they are not what they once were. Certainly not as flat and smooth as a mouse pad on a desk. Sitting on the sofa with a big bulky laptop desk and the laptop and the mouse on top of me is not really any more comfortable than sitting at the desk, lol.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

I think answering a phone and texting while out to dinner is BEYOND rude AND the people that take their phones in the bathroom with them make me want to puke :) Rant over!

[Lisa, Daisy & Dexter]

You are talking about my boss on all accounts - I do not allow him to touch anything in my office - ever!

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

Karen - FYI you can use a mouse with a laptop - wired in or wireless!  Switch to your laptop and let your browser flash away on the desktop!  put your mousepad on the arm of your chair or couch or put your laptop on a tray and the mouse pad right beside it.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

I am not over 50 yet, but really enjoyed this discussion :) Thanks for the laugh!!

[F, Calla & Luca]

No, Thank you for the laugh. Are you 39, Jack?