Too Many Depressing Discussions--today's antidote

[F, Calla & Luca]

Sorry for you young'uns but I liked this. I am grateful my phone does not say "recalculating.

"Should I Really Join Facebook?

A good laugh for people in the over 50 group !!! When I bought my Blackberry, I thought about the 30-year business I ran with1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music, takes videos, pictures and communicates with Facebook and Twitter. I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses, 13 grand kids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.

That was before one of my grandkids hooked me up for Tweeter, Tweetree, Twhirl, Twitterfon, Tweetie and Twittererific Tweetdeck, Twitpix and something that sends every message to my cell phone and every other program within the texting world.

My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.

The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it's red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife and everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. I had to take my hearing aid out to use it, and I got a little loud.

I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside that gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, "Re-calc-u-lating." You would think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then if I made a right turn instead... well, it was not a good relationship.
When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.

To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven't figured out how I can lose three phones all at once and have to run around digging under chair cushions and checking bathrooms and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.

The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time I check out just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused, but I never remember to take them in with me.

Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, "Paper or Plastic?" I just say, "Doesn't matter to me. I am bi-sacksual." Then it's their turn to stare at me with a blank look. I was recently asked if I tweet. I answered, No, but I do toot a lot." 

P.S. I know some of you are not over 50. I sent it to you to allow you to forward it to those who are. 

We senior citizens don't need any more gadgets. The TV remote and the garage door remote are about all we can handle."

[Amy, Cubbie & Ollie]

this was funny, but I guess I can't relate.  I am out of town for business and I brought a laptop, GPS, 2 cellphones (work and personal), ipod, and a kindle.  :)

[F, Calla & Luca]

Did you have room for any clothes : )

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

 When they ask me, "Paper or Plastic?" I just say, "Doesn't matter to me. I am bi-sacksual." Then it's their turn to stare at me with a blank look. I was recently asked if I tweet. I answered, No, but I do toot a lot."

This was worth the whole essay.  I loved it!  Perhaps only us older folks appreciate the humor, but it is just too funny.

[Ricki and Tara (doodle)]

Nancy I loved that part too! And since I don't text does that make me homotexualphobic?

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

Perfect, Ricki.

[Ricki and Tara (doodle)]

Love it!

[Sherri, Sophie, Winston, & Kitty]

Being such a young wippersnapper, I simply can't relate to any of this :-p  

I'm going to go download some tv shows on my laptop.

[F, Calla & Luca]

Gee, we old folks find it much easier to watch TV shows on the...TV.

[Sherri, Sophie, Winston, & Kitty]

yea, but itsn't it great that when you miss the episode you can get caught up online?

[F, Calla & Luca]

True but there are repeats often on TV too nowadays. And as I have been telling a certain lady, with dogs F and V, no one can live without a DVR. I may be old but I'm connected : )

[Jennifer,Chloe & Myla]

This is great and oh so true! My mo is like what? I can get caller id? What does it do? Well, it gives the ID of the person who is calling like their N-A-M-E?? She picked up the phone and called the phone company to have it added to her phone. She said man this caller ID thing is so cool! That's new technology to her and she still doesn't know how to use the VCR or DVD player!

[Lauria Orr]

This discussion just makes me laugh.  I can relate to so much of it! (Unfortunately,of course.)