What's Under that Robe? Inquiring Minds Want to Know!!

As most of you know, my dogs have robes.

I got the idea right here on DoodleKisses, so I am not the only one who thinks they are a good idea after bath or boating time for our dogs. Well, this has led to a lot of speculation as to what is under those robes and inappropriate questions regarding my husband and his bathing attire. Since I feel it is nobody’s business what is under my husband’s robe (after all, we are very private people) and he will allow no pictures, I am going to have to just hint as to what could or could not be under that robe.

Please don't mention this pictorial to him if you ever meet. He is very shy. Also, I am ready to clear up any questions regarding the rest of us, too. As usual, I am not going to get right to the point and have a story I would like to tell you first.

Years ago, my mother made me a robe for Christmas. One of my mother’s biggest dreams in life was to have a petite daughter. She found out that not all dreams get realized and ended up with three tall daughters. She rarely sewed clothes for any of us, because standard patterns had to be altered and sewing made her want to heave a large object against a wall.

I hated sewing for the same reasons and once made a one piece jumpsuit in my high school Home Economics class and forgot to add the additional four inches to the back of the pants that I had added to the front.

This left me with two choices 1) walk around with uneven pants and possibly start a new jumpsuit trend or 2) add a 4 inch panel of material to the back of the pants. I opted for the latter option and if you are willing to believe a woman who once wore a jumpsuit in the first place, I am sure no one noticed the seam in the back and everyone thought I looked very stylish. Needless to say, I do not remember getting an A on that outfit. This story really has nothing to do with anything, but as long as I had your attention, I thought, “what the heck!”

Back to my robe now…..I opened my robe that Christmas Day surrounded by family and as I pulled it from the box, everyone grew quiet all around me. It came from the box like a never-ending line of scarves pulled by a magician from his sleeve.

The robe just kept unfolding and unfolding and when I finally held it up the enormity of the robe left little doubt in all of our minds that my mom as she proudly said, “added a few panels to the original pattern.” It concerned me that my mother must have thought I was the size of the Chrysler Building and this was many, many pounds ago when I was quite thin. We all just stared at that enormous blue robe and finally my husband broke the silence and said, “Well, if she can’t wear it as a robe, we can always use if for a car cover,” and everyone burst into laughter, except my mother.

All the jokes, and there were many, that followed went over like a lead balloon with her and she just kept saying she even had it monogrammed, which would get us all started again. At some point, years later, I gave the robe to Goodwill and always hoped some very tall, morbidly obese person scored the find of a century when they walked into a Goodwill store one day and spied that never worn robe and said, “I have been waiting all my life to find a robe big enough to fit me and this one should do the trick.”

Luckily, I still have the picture to show you what was under the robe that Christmas morning and if you look very closely, you can see four other sets of feet that belong to various nieces and nephews.

Never mind the hair and large glasses. Remember I wore a jumpsuit.

Well, now you know what was under my robe one day long ago and that is all the information you are getting about the robes I wear now. My dogs, on the other hand, have their own story. Fudge, I have decided, should live in Oregon where they have country fairs where women walk around with little on. She would probably like to be a card carrying member of the Naked Doodle’s Club, but she has a mother who just can’t help herself on some occasions or if she needs additional material for a blog/discussion. Fudge actually seems to like the robe, but since she is constantly working on her tan lines while we are out on the boat, she prefers little else underneath. I did manage to make her wear something the other day, but I will say it did not stay on very long. She is at that rebellious age.

Please do not let the constriction of the suit concern you. Since I have never purchased a bathing suit for a dog, I did not give it the necessary thought it might have needed. No brown dog was harmed in the wearing of this bikini.

Vern, on the other hand, is a big ball of contradiction. Sure, when a camera comes out for the Doodle Calendar photos, he has a tendency to get quite excited and that excitement has a way of rearing its ugly head, but on the boat when all is calm, he prefers to keep everything under wraps. We call him Mr. Modesty.

Please ignore the fact that the top of Fudge's suit matches the bottom of Vern's suit. There is only so much money in the budget for blogs/discussions. Again, no dog was harmed in the wearing of these bottoms and in fact, Vern seemed to rather like it. So, there you have it and now we can put an end to all the speculation. Or as Vern and Fudge say, "THE END!"

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Permalink Reply by Ricki and Tara (doodle) on August 31, 2012 at 2:00pm

LOL! Message received Gavin!!!

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Permalink Reply by F, Calla & Luca on August 31, 2012 at 8:00am

Now we are back to so-called normal on DK. I did so need a chuckle this AM. And strangely enough it was the budget for blogs that got me going. I am so glad somebody, not accusing you Laurie, has as much clutter as me as evidenced by the Christmas clutter. But I must say, you could have at least made a hole for Vern's tail. It might get stuck in that off to the side position. In the end I will say that Fudge and Vern are saints and you DH qualifies too. That chartreuse suit was attractive!

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Permalink Reply by Laurie, Fudge, and Vern on August 31, 2012 at 9:29am

Yes, this is normal for DK :) LOL I am glad I could make you laugh. We might have to re-use that bottom for some future blog, so I was being thrifty. Even my own mother says my DH is a saint, but she is pretty old, so I just tell her she is crazy :)

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Permalink Reply by F, Calla & Luca on August 31, 2012 at 9:39am

One, knowing you, you are planning to regift it, never mind future bogs--good excuse though. I think your DM and I are beginning to sound alike : )

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Permalink Reply by Laurie, Fudge, and Vern on August 31, 2012 at 9:43am

I was thinking about who could fit in the suit when I am finished with it. I know I can't give it to my son-in-law....LOL!! I would be scared if I was beginning to sound like my mom!