Our 7 month old GD won't let our 23 month GD play with anything!

[Liza, Halle and Finn]

We have two doods: Kachi, a male 55lb who is 23 months old, and Halle, a female 28lb who is 7 months old.  Our problem:  Our otherwise very alpha male lets his much smaller, baby sister take everything away from him. He goes to the toy box and grabs something out, and she immediately goes over and takes it from him.  Even if she has her own toy, she will take his away, and now she has two!!  He will very calmly just go over and get something else out, and she'll take it from him. He'll calmly retrieve the original item he had, and she'll steal it back...and on and on and on! The weird thing is that in every other instance, it is apparent that the puppy submits to her bigger brother (eating, sleeping, etc). Also, Kachi has never shown any aggression towards her.
This drives my husband and I crazy because we feel bad for our 'big' dog, but Kachi (our male doodle) doesn't seem to mind.  Or does he??
 I just don't know enough dog psychology to read into what this means!.  Anyone else have this situation? And, if so, did you do anything to teach the the younger dog that they need to share? Or do I just let Kachi deal with it?

[Penny, Comiskey & Beemer]

I have the same situation...Comiskey (2yrs) lets Beemer (1yr)take everything away ....I don't have a solution...so I will be anxious to hear from the experts...thanks for posting...

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

Read my profile! Ned began his stint in our house by being put in his place by our old lab mix AND taking everything from our then 4 year old Springer. EVERYTHING, right out of his mouth. The Springer was actually visibly depressed by this and we felt horrible. Mostly we let things happen, but we would pull Ned away from stealing the fuzzy ball and bones, or, we would give Gordie another bone or fuzzy ball behind Ned's back. We finally noticed that our Springer is no longer depressed, and he learned to growl at Ned (not that that solves anything) but Ned still takes things right out of Gordie's mouth. Ned no longer steals food and Gordie doesn't yield his spot on the bed, other than that Ned is much more alpha.

[Liza, Halle and Finn]

Nancy,
How' did you notice that your dog was depressed? What did you see in him? This is what we are most worried about, as well. Kachi, sometimes, will just give up and lie in front of Halle (who is chewing whatever she has just stolen) with his head between his paws, watching her. Eventually, he just gives up, and goes and lies down. My son thinks Kachi seems depressed at times, but we think we could be reading too much into it, because they play really well, he's eating fine (Halle never tries to steal his food (when she was very young, she would try, and again he would let her), and they eat side by side), and he does seem to be the boss in most other ways. He is just so much more mellow than he was when he was younger, its hard to know. Is this is just him, and he's laid back and doesn't care, or if he's feeling emasculated by his baby sister, and now he's depressed? Oy! I have a feeling I'm humanizing him, and I shouldn't be!!

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

Gordie lost interest in food, he became aloof, quiet, and reserved rather than happy (Springers are happy dogs) and in pictures he looks sad. We took the same pose a year later and we can visibly see the difference.
Then:

Now:

He kept to himself rather than laying right with us. Lots of the pictures from that summer have Simon and Ned up front and center and Gordie off to the side or laying down by himself. I think that this is why my kids aren't as thrilled with Ned. They related to Gordie's "pain" and directly 'blame' Ned.

[Liza, Halle and Finn]

Oh boy, that's rough! But I know what you mean. My kids are the same way. Its a good thing Halle is so cute and funny!! And although Kachi is eating just fine, his demeanor is exactly how you describe-aloof, reserved, quiet. He sometimes looks sooo sad. But, having said that, he's never been an 'up in your face' kind of dog, anyway. I guess we'll just have to wait and see what transpires. I've read enough to know that a resident dog will often give a new puppy a 'pass' for being annoying when they are super young, but usually once the puppy gets about 5 months old, the resident dog will put them in their place for some of the very things that they once allowed. I was told by someone who deals with dogs that Kachi may still be giving Halle that 'freepass' because she is still a lot smaller. In other words, he is still viewing her as a puppy. I don't know if this is true or not, but I wish he would hurry up, and let her know that her bratty behavior is unacceptable!!
By the way, you dogs are precious!!

[Ann Kendig]

I have noticed this going on between my two. Sometimes I take the item (usually a bully stick) that was snatched from one dog and give it back to the one that had it in the first place. Both of them seem to understand why I did it and won't steal it again. I haven't had them fight over anything so far but I am aware that this goes on and will keep an eye out for future problems. I too will be waiting to hear from the experts!

[Beverley S. LaLonde]

I believe I would step in and give back to the original dog just like when they grab something of ours, with a show of displeasure of (leave it) and replace with their own toy or another toy. Just like children not sharing dogs can get a little spoiled and will cease the moment. It could be a dominance issue, occationally Harlee will take a left alone stuffed cow hoof and I will take away and give back to whomever left it for a moment.
Bev,Harlee, Chloe & Li'l Buddy

[Rae]

Our two doodles do exactly the same thing. The younger/smaller girl will take toys right out of our older/larger girl's mouth...and Rozee lets her. We take it away from Bella and give it back to Rozee and within five minutes Bella has it again. Bella is and has been the dominant one since she was about 6 months old. She weighs 30# while Rozee weighs 75#. Go figure. Rozee is a very gentle and peace loving soul - she's always there to break up anything she thinks might cause trouble. If Bella starts playing too rough with the neighbor's dog (or the other way around) Rozee gets between the two. We always feels so sorry for Rozee and we also think she gets depressed. So glad to at least learn that our situation is shared by others and we aren't the only ones trying to deal with this.

[Liza, Halle and Finn]

Kachi and Rozee sound very similar. Kachi also will step in if he thinks Halle is doing something she shouldn't! Halle's favorite game (which is anything but a game to us!) is to take someone's shoe or sock, and then run under the table, with her tush up in the air, just daring us to come get it! As we're shouting to 'drop it', 'leave it' 'bad girl' etc (usually to no avail), Kachi just gives us an exasperated look-like 'Wow! Let's get this one under control!" and then HE is the one who ends up getting it from her, and bringing it to us! It reminds me of when our oldest child use to whine (when her younger siblings were being bratty) that it's hard to be the oldest child, and I would always whisper to her that only a few special people get picked to be the oldest because sometimes it can be tough! I now find myself telling Kachi the same thing (as Halle is hanging off his back leg)! Too bad he doesn't understand me!!

[Adina P]

When you say that Halle submits to Kachi in other situations...is it a submission Kachi 'asks for' or that she just offers?

[Liza, Halle and Finn]

Adina,
That's a really good point you make, and its one I hadn't thought about, but actually, most of the time, I think it is Halle offering it!! Kachi really is quite willing to always give in, and I can probably count on one hand the number of times that Kachi has actually whipped around, and let her know that what she is doing is unacceptable! Mostly, he show his dominance only if she is sitting in his place on the couch, and then he will just jump up, and practically sit on her until she moves out of the way, but like you pointed out, he's not demanding that she move (he would perfectly happy to lay right on her)!

[Linda,Yankee & Finn]

I also have the same thing with my two who are 2 yrs old and 9 months. Finn takes any toy away from Yankee. Sometimes it turns into a game of tug of war but Yankee always gives in. Yankee doesn't always sleep in my bed anymore since Finn is there. Finn will eat Yankee's food if I don't watch him but Yankee doesn't touch Finn's food. Sometimes it does seem like he's unhappy with losing all the attention and not being able to play alone with me. What is the answer?