Separation Anxiety

[Pam & Frankie]

Hi everyone!  First time poster here.

Our little Frankie is 19 weeks old and has been with us since she was about 12 weeks old.  So far, our experience has been wonderful - she is smart and sweet as can be, and was fully house trained by our second week with her.  She has a very gentle temperament and loves all people, though can be very timid around other dogs

Anyway, the one big problem we've had with her is separation anxiety.  She has a comfortable crate with a bed and toys, and has recently started going into it on her own (only when we are in the same room).  The problem is, whenever we crate her when we have to leave, she hates it.  She tries to run away, and when we finally coax her in, she cries and barks the minute we are out of sight.  We're not sure how long her crying and barking fits last for.  If we crate her on workdays (when her dog walker comes twice), she seems ok when we get home.  But if we crate her for an hour or so on weekends while we go to the store or to the gym, we get home and her face and paws are completely soaked with drool and there are drool puddles all over her bed and crate.  She looks miserable and we feel like terrible parents.

She also sticks to us like glue when we are home.  It's sweet and cute, but we are worried that this is another sign of separation anxiety.  If she is taking a nap near me and I get up to grab a cup of water, she will follow me.  One time, she was tired so I left her napping in the living room (with the gate closed) while I took a shower and she woke up, sat with her face pressed against the gate and cried and barked the entire time, with the wet face and paws when I came back 15 minutes later.

We've tried a bunch of tactics to help ease the separation anxiety.  We've tried crating her when we're home and coming and going to show her that we always come back.  We've tried giving her treats when we crate her to give her positive associations.  We've tried playing with her a lot before crating her to get her tired and calm so that she just goes to sleep.  Nothing seems to work and we don't know what to do to get her to stop being so sad when we aren't together.

Maybe this is normal and she just needs to get a little older, but it seems odd for this to last this long.  Our neighbors have a puppy that went through separation anxiety but seems totally fine now, and he is younger than Frankie.  So first questions is whether we should be worried and the second question is whether you have tips to share about how to make this less distressing for our sweet girl.

[Deb's Yarrow and Schatzi]

I have to admit that we didn't use the kennel so much with Yarrow, choosing to keep her confined to the kitchen instead. But, when we were using the kennel for the first few weeks, to go shopping or whatever, I always made sure she had a good walk or tiring play session first. Even now that she's nearly 9 months old, if we're going to leave, I make time to take her for a walk before I go. I leave her ready for a nap. Hopefully this helps you.

[Judith and Addie]

It does sound to me as though your little girl has separation anxiety. Here is an article about one behaviorist's account of dealing with it.  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sarah-hodgson/curing-a-dogs-separatio...

Some other things you can try are: feeding her in her crate; tying a favorite toy in the crate so she can only play with it there; feeding her treats in the crate. Do these with the crate door open. When she is in the crate, give her lots of praise and attention.

My previous dog had separation anxiety that started when he was about 5 months old. Until then, I could crate him. I don't know what but something must have upset him once when he was crated for 4 hours because after that I had the problem. Afterwards, crating was not an option, as he actually bent the bars on the crate, causing a bloody mouth. Another time, he escaped the crate. He didn't bark, but he drooled excessively and would shred anything in the crate as well as force the pan out the crate. I found a certified canine behaviorist and worked with her. I would recommend talking with a behaviorist, and possibly having a consultation. Separation anxiety can be difficult to deal with on your own, and it becomes more difficult as your pup get older.

By the way, it did not work for me, but some people have had success using DAP (dog appeasing pheromone) in conjunction to the desensitizing.

Good luck, and I really do hope it is just a stage.

[Judi Kilpatrick]

DAP has changed its name to Adaptil and it does seem to take the edge off. One of my boys has mild anxiety and I spray his crate about 15 minutes before he goes in, need to let it dry before they go in the crate because it contains alcohol. It lasts about 4 hours so you might consider trying it before you leave him. I order the Adaptil from Amazon as I haven't been able to find it locally. I also use 'Rescue Remedy' before what might be a stressful situation for him, I have used it in lieu of the Adaptil on occasion for his time in the crate. You might want to google it to check it out, I also ordered the Rescue Remedy on Amazon. I buy the 'human' formula (dog formula seemed to upset his stomach), I use the dropper and take about 3 or 4 drops on my finger then rub it on the inside of his ear rather than let him ingest it. Just a suggestion, works for Oscar and when he's happy, we are all happy..lol

[Deb's Yarrow and Schatzi]

Frankie is still very young. She'll probably outgrow it. I remember seeing on A TV show, maybe Victoria Stillwell, that if we give in to feelings of guilt, dogs pick up on it and sense that something is wrong and this adds to their feelings of insecurity. You have to be as nonchalant as possible about the whole thing. Practicing all the leader of the pack stuff will let her know that there is no reason to feel anxious. But you'll all have to be consistent and patient with the situation. She'll pick up on any stress and think all is not well and she has reason to fret.

I know this probably won't help in this instance but it is the story of my experience with separation anxiety. I had a basset hound who had terrible separation anxiety. It was so terrible that I was actually going to give her away to someone who could spent more time with her while I was working and the kids were in school. But then, on a whim, I went to the animal shelter and a Doberman cross made me fall in love with her. The basset hound, Teaspoon, loved her new sister, Kali, and nobody ever suffered separation anxiety again. Like I said, it may not be a practical solution for everyone, but since then I have always had more than one dog. I get a little teary just thinking about them all up there over the rainbow bridge together.
I hope you and your sweet girl can find a solution.

[Debbie & Gibbs]

I don't think Gibbs had separation anxiety, but he would throw a fit when he had to go to his crate. We started turning the radio on so he would have some background noise and he settled down.

[Leslie, Yogi & Maci Bear]

Pam,
Yogi had a really rough time with this also. We tried pheromones, thunder tshirt, music, treats, etc. he rarely had been alone since coming to us because DH works from home. Finally got a behavorist involved. He thought it was possibly a problem more with confinement. (Yogi would be soaked from under his mouth to his feet and would whine, bark and pace none stop). We filmed him with our iPad to see what he was doing
We were advised to start putting a stuffed bone in the crate for him, leave him 30 seconds, take the bone and let him out. Do this several times a day. Work up VERY slowly in time. Always with the treat and take him out before he lost interest in treat and whined. It worked ! Got up to 45 minutes, my DH wanted to try just gating in kitchen where he was comfortable and usually rested a lot during the day. This worked also.
Not sure if kitchen worked because of very gradual increase in crate time, or if it felt less confining to him. So now he's been left up to several hours. When we film him now, he just is lying on the rug sleeping quietly in the kitchen.

Hope you get this problem solved soon, I know it's heartbreaking to see them so worked up.

[Jen W]

You are certainly not the only one to deal with this.  Like Frankie, my Dory would become so upset whenever I'd leave that I'd come back to find her totally drenched.  I used to leave my phone behind and tape her and though everyone assured me that she stopped crying after I left and just started up again when she heard my key in the door, the tape revealed that she never really settled down.  

I used to only shave one leg each day to minimize my time in the shower away from her.  I can laugh at that now, but at the time it was really upsetting and I found myself skipping the gym, ordering things online, etc. all so that I wouldn't have to leave her.

Like Leslie, I tried everything from soft music to a Thundershirt but nothing worked.  What finally seemed to work for Dory was just not being crated.  I started leaving her in the kitchen (blocked off and everything out of reach) when she was about 5 or 6 months old and she was much better.  She'd never eat the treat I'd leave for her until I'd get back home so I don't think she was ever really at ease, but she wasn't crying the whole time and she was never soaking wet.  Now that she's a year and a half she doesn't even look up when I leave, though she is almost always sleeping right inside the door when I get back.

You might also try reading The Dog Whisperer.  I asked my breeder for advice on how to deal with Dory's separation anxiety and he pointed me to the tactics in the book. 

Whether it was leaving her in the kitchen, following The Dog Whisperer or Dory just growing up and getting used to things I cannot say.  But it did get better.  Hang in there!!

[Pam & Frankie]

Thanks for the good advice everyone!  It's good to hear we aren't the only ones going through this.  We'll try these tips and report back if anything works.