What a difference a year makes! Encouragement for new puppy owners....

[Lori, Winnie, Bob and Indie]

I've been in a very "reflective" state of mind lately, and thought I would share some of these thoughts with all of you puppy owners. Bear with me... this might take a while....

Last year at this time, I was a mess, to be honest. My dad, whom I was super close to, had just passed away unexpectantly. The grief was nearly unbearable. Two weeks later we brought home Winnie. We had been planning her homecoming for months- reading up on puppy care, watching training videos, etc. Both my husband and I grew up with dogs, and I raised a pup myself 20 years ago. We were sooooo excited! I knew that it was going to be stressful, but I was blindsided by the amount of mental energy that it required to raise a very active and mouthy puppy. Mental energy that I didn't always have! My physical energy was waning, too. After a long day at work, I just wanted to rest on the couch in the evening. Not possible with Winnie around! :-)

She potty trained fairly quickly and learned all of the basic commands easily. That wasn't the so much the stressful part. The mouthiness/nipping/biting/crocodile behavior nearly drove me insane. I could not touch her, cuddle with her, play with her, take her out to potty or attempt to walk her on a leash without getting ripped pant legs/skirts/nightgowns and multiple bite marks on my hands and arms. It seemed that no amount of redirecting, training, "time outs," encouraging, pleading, scolding and praying would stop the behavior. I'm a fairly patient person, but this was putting me over the edge. And, I'm ashamed to admit, drove me to drink waaay too much wine on more than one occasion! :-) My husband and I have a great relationship. But, we found ourselves being more irritable and short with each other because of her. I was ready to throw in the towel and call the breeder to take her back. But everyone kept encouraging us and telling us that it would get better. A neighbor down the street (that has beautifully trained dogs) would see the fiasco of trying to walk a puppy attached to my pant leg and would yell his encouragement. We had all sorts of cheerleaders along our journey.

And then, it happened. One day I took her out to potty, and my pant leg was no longer enticing. I noticed that my hands and arms had less bite marks. I could wear my long flowing nightgowns in the evening and she didn't even notice. She would sit next to me and let me pet her. Gradually we could walk around the entire block without having her hanging from her leash or attacking my leg. A miracle was happening!

Fast forward one year.... Winnie is an absolute gem. She is a gentle dog that loves to cuddle and snuggle. She is well behaved, has had run of the house since age 6 months, and is the apple of my eye. My neighbor down the street smiles whenever he sees me riding bike with her trotting loose lease beside me. Something I never dreamed I'd be able to do with her! 

She's not perfect- no dog (or human) is. But, all of the frustration I had last year at this time is gone. And, she has been a blessing to our family in a way that I never thought possible. I'm quite sure that my dad would have loved her....

 

[Jen W]

You are so right. I often say that the first 3 months I had my puppy were the worst 3 months of my life. She had such separation anxiety and was always into something. I lost 10 pounds the first month I had her b/c I felt like I couldn't go to the grocery store, let alone turn my back on her long enough to cook something. I only shaved one leg per day back then b/c I needed to minimize my time in the bathroom, knowing she was crying in her kennel the whole time I was in the shower. I'm sure if someone had watched me try to put on socks they would have thought I was having a seizure or dancing on hot coals.

But now? Now she is 2 1/2 and though we are still training on some things (like being able to pass another dog on the sidewalk without reacting) she is the dog I always dreamed of. To be honest, I love that dog so much my heart swells just looking at her. I have not forgotten the trauma of puppyhood but all of the tears and google searching and torn hems are worth it.

Oh, and I gained those 10 pounds back. Hmpf.

[Lori, Winnie, Bob and Indie]

Funny you mention the weight- I gained several pounds those first couple of months from all of the "stress eating" I did....

[Jenny and Cooper]

LOL, reading your post brings back memory of what I went through 4 months ago. I was sad because I no longer could cook a descent meal. I had to time everything I do. Lol forget shaving, luckily it was spring time and so all I wore was sweat pants :P I also lost weight (5 lbs) but since I'm already petite, it made a big difference! I haven't gained it all back yet but I'm getting there! My cooking has improved and since my two boys are home now, it helps a lot!

And Lori, thanks again for starting this posts. I am sure that it will help many of the new doodle owners!

[VScott & Lloyd]

I read and reread this post from time to time. My puppy is now 15 weeks old and is still quite mouthy and nippy. The vet said he's asserting his dominance on the humans as he's quite submissive in the dog world. With some great tips from the vet, I've finally been able to control him on me in the last few days. Unfortunately the kids are still a target which means they can't help as much as I'd like...but it is getting better. We have good days and bad days. It seems like we have many months to go until we get a sweet, cuddly, docile dog but your post gets me through some disappointing and frustrating times. Thanks so much for your story!

[Sheeba Daniel]

Tessy is now 17 weeks and we are in the same boat. She goes through spurts of being really mouthy (usually when she is really riled up or has the zoomies). She listens to me and my husband but like you, she is particularly oppositional with my youngest child  (age 9). She is also a more submissive dog with other dogs - I am curious about what tips your vet gave you around asserting dominance - thanks. 

[Cindy and Olive (Ollie)]

Sheeba, what really helped us was leadership (rather than "dominance") - easy ways to incorporate into your routines with pup that show pup you're in charge. This works so well. Things like you walking through doors first, eating before pup, ignoring pup until he's settled upon reuniting, controlling all the resources (don't leave food/bones lying around...) etc. sounds odd at first but eventually they fall in line and learn what you reinforce, or don't... Very Pavlovian! Check out doggy Dan the online dog trainer as he has a lot on this theory that worked like a charm for us. Good luck!

[Sheeba Daniel]

Thanks for the reminder to control all the resources - I do so but need to make sure the kids do too!

[VScott & Lloyd]

Yes, I feel like we've done it all - redirect, trade for toys, ignored and stopped playing, taught him the drop command, etc. None of those things worked for us.

According to the vet, Lloyd gets puppy "temper tantrums" with his teething and has biting attacks. He did it at the vet last week and she got down on the floor with him, put him on his back belly-up with his head on her upper arm, and held his bottom jaw (not his neck) steady as he was trying to bite. She did this for a few minutes and talked him through it until he calmed down and his body relaxed. She said I'd probably have to do this several times. I've been doing this and in the last few days I can probably count on one hand how many times he's tried to bite me or tear at my clothes. That's an improvement! If he can't be soothed then I put him in the crate for a time-out. The vet assured me by the time he's about 6 months old, he should be done teething and will be a great dog. I believe it because really, that's the only thing we can't handle with him at the moment. He doing great with everything else. Until then, with ripped clothes and scarred arms and legs, I refuse to be attacked anymore.

As Cindy suggested, we also show leadership: walk through the door first (and if time permits, I even make him sit before he can walk through the door), make him lay down and wait for all meals while making eye contact with me, and we do not immediately rush to his crate when we come home, etc. Lloyd is 20lbs now and is expected to be about 50lbs+ so I want to get this nipped in the bud sooner than later.

Although my 9 year old son still gets attacked, he's still in it and wants to play with Lloyd and care for him. So he is allowed to monitor Lloyd in the backyard and take him for very short walks. My 8 year old is a bit more timid so in rare times, he'll take Lloyd out for a short potty break (5 minutes), and sometimes I have him hand feed Lloyd his kibble. 

Good luck and please let me know how it goes for you! I could probably learn from your experiences!

[Sheeba Daniel]

Thanks for the info! Always good to know others are going through the same thing at the same time we are here with Tessy. Each week Tessy gets more and more regulated but it always surprises me when she flips-out randomly (guess that is what puppies do), so just when we think we have turned a corner she reminds us that she is still a "toddler" and learning. I'm sure I'll still be posting more questions, joys and frustrations for months to come - LOL.  

[Lori, Winnie, Bob and Indie]

Vscott and Cindy gave good suggestions- we did all of those things with Winnie, too. One thing that did NOT work with her, though, was the "alpha roll" that Vscott's vet did. I tried it a couple of times, and all it did was get her very fearful and riled up. So, be cautious with that - it's a pretty controversial maneuver. Glad it's helping Lloyd, though.

Instead of the "alpha roll," what worked best for us was this:  I put her in a "sit" right in front of me, up against my legs, both of us facing the same direction, with my hands on her shoulders. While doing so, I said, "settle.." very calmly. Once I felt her body relax, I told her "good" and let her go. Sometimes she would go right back to nipping, and I would twirl her around, make her sit, and do the same thing again. Over and over, several times a day if I had to. I always had a leash on her so that I could control her. If I didn't, she would interpret my trying to reach for her as a game. Which only added to my frustration!  

The other thing to remember is that the nipping almost always gets worse before it gets better. It's called "Behavior Extinction." I remember one week last summer where I felt like things were getting better, and then the next week was absolutely terrible. The following week was where I noticed the miracle happening. :-)

[Cindy and Olive (Ollie)]

I agree with Lori about the alpha roll. Maybe it works temporarily but can cultivate mistrust, teach fear, and interfere with bonding - while calm, positive reinforcement and training can work so well with a puppy. Teaching them what TO do (like Lori's calm settle/sit example, love it) and consistency with rewarding the right behavior will help them grow into that loving, mature dog you want... :)

[VScott & Lloyd]

Oh no. The last thing I want is for Lloyd to be fearful although so far he seems fine. In any case I'll limit my use on that. Interestingly enough, when Lloyd gets into his biting frenzy and if I try to handle him by putting him in a sit position or even just stroking him to calm him down most of the time he flops over on his back anyway...all while trying to bite.

Thanks all for the wonderful advice!