Labradoodle & Goldendoodle Forum
Funny Poems and Q & A
The Perfect Man
The perfect man is gentle
Never cruel or mean
He has a beautiful smile
And keeps his face so clean.
The perfect man likes children
And will raise them by your side
He will be a good father
As well as a good husband to his bride.
The perfect man loves cooking
Cleaning and vacuuming too
He'll do anything in his power
To convey his feelings of love for you.
The perfect man is sweet
Writing poetry from your name
He's a best friend to your mother
And kisses away your pain.
He has never made you cry
Or hurt you In any way
Oh, screw this stupid poem
The perfect man is gay!
Q: Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?
A: They all already have boyfriends.
Q: Why do men become smarter during sex?
A: Because they are plugged into a genius.
Q: Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
A: Because not one will stop and ask for directions.
Q: How many men does it take to wallpaper a bathroom?
A: Three, if you slice them very thinly.
Q: What's the difference between Big Foot and an intelligent man?
A: Big Foot has been spotted several times.
Q: Why did God create man before woman?
A: Because you're always supposed to have a rough draft before creating your masterpiece.
BEDTIME PRAYER FOR WOMEN..
Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep.
One who's handsome, smart and strong,
One whose willy is thick and long.
One who thinks before he speaks,
When he promises to call, he won't wait weeks.
I pray that he is gainfully employed,
And when I spend his cash he won't be annoyed.
One who pulls out my chair & opens my door,
massages my back & begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who will make love to my mind.
Knows just what to say when I ask, "How big is my behind?
One who'll make love till my body's a twitchin',
in the hall, the pool, the garden and kitchen!
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And never attempts to shag my best friend.
And as I kneel and pray by my bed,
I look at the S*** Head you sent me instead!!!
Q: What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A: A Widow.
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