Murphy Update....The Journey Continues

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

First I want to thank everyone who has been so supportive, always letting me know you care and asking about how Murph was doing.  These past six weeks have been such a huge learning experience that I hardly know where to begin.  You remember that I was resistive of putting him on the anti anxiety meds because I was so afraid that I would lose "my guy".  I thought his "essence" would change and that felt wrong to me for some reason.  What I have learned is that I never really knew who Murphy was...not really.  We've been getting to know each other now and our relationship....his relationship with the entire family...is completely different.  He is calm, not really sleepy anymore, just calm.  He's not attached to me like glue....he doesn't need to be because he's not insecure and stressed every minute.  He doesn't guard me or the house like before....the pacing is over.  My son can actually come out of his room and freely walk around the house without me holding Murph so that he didn't charge him.  DS even had a friend over this past weekend and Murph showed a little normal interest when he arrived and that was it....no sitting outside the bedroom door waiting to pounce.  He's not guarding my bedroom door at night when I go to bed...he goes downstairs and stays with DH while he's watching TV. 

One of the most amazing changes is the bond that has now developed between Guinness and Murphy.  They now play like normal dogs....it's so awesome to watch.  Murph gave up that whole dominance thing.  I never realized how difficult life must have been for Guinness....always watching his back and making sure he had a place to escape to.  They were at the Groomer this week and she even commented that she was amazed at how close they had become.  I actually watched the other night as Murphy went into the toy box and took out a tennis ball....he brought it over to Guinness who was lying in his bed and dropped it for him...he wanted to play.  Something like that would never have happened in the past.

We've made some huge progress on our walks too.  I never put him in a position where he's uncomfortable, and he's now trusting me.  When we see other dogs I watch his body language and if he stiffens at all we move farther away.  We keep moving away until he relaxes and then he sits and I feed him treats while the dog passes.  We're now at the point where we can get very close with absolutely no discomfort from Murph.  Yesterday we were actually following about six feet behind a dog....I kept telling Murph to "look" and treating each time he did.  He never got nervous.  What I never realized before was that he really wasn't capable of learning how to follow commands around other dogs.  He was scared to death and he displayed fear by becoming reactive and aggressive.  No amount of correcting or treating would have worked when he was in this state.  He wasn't capable of responding to my training at that point.  By pushing him I was only making things worse.  I feel bad about that, but we all make mistakes and move forward.  I know that he's not "holding that against me"....he's trying to move forward and he's showing me how.

His program is more than just the meds.  We've changed his whole exercise pattern.  We did have to make adjustments because I wasn't able to get enough calories into him to compensate for what he was burning, and he lost quite a bit of weight.  He's put two pounds back and I've reduced his exercise so that his weight can stabilize.  We're past the whole "withholding affection"....although the Behaviorist said that we should always keep in mind that he should "earn" things like treats and affection.

So that's where we are....and it's a wonderful place.  We're still on our journey but I have so much hope and confidence now. 

[Lucy & AnnaBelle's Mom]

I could not be happier to read this post!   This situation has always made me so sad for all of you. Your persistance to find what works for him is commendable.  You all deserve this new found happiness so much.  I truly hope it continues to get even better for all of you.  A true example of what responsible dog ownership entails!  You should write a book showing that adorable little fluff ball you first introduced us to and what all it has taken to get to this point!  What a journey!  Hugs.

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

Thank you, Sherri....I just may write a book.

[Donna K & Quincy]

Jane, I got a little misty reading this, I am so happy for all of you but especially for Murphy. To know that he is happier and more content is wonderful and that you finally have some peace and peace of mind is just as wonderful.

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

Thanks, Donna....I got misty writing it.

[Cheryl and Finnegan]

Jane, your update brought happy tears and a big smile this morning! You've worked so hard and helped so many of us that no one deserves this happy ending/ beginning more! "He really wasn't capable of responding to my training ..." Is such a critical insight. Thank you for explaining it so well. I intend to share this with my trainer and a friend who has been dealing with similar issues. Finnegan does not have aggression/ reactive issues but he is such a Velco dog that sometimes I am sad for him. Having to watch me all the time has to be exhausting. He'll play and romp as long as I 'm within his line of sight. If I disappear, game over! Time to find Mom. My sister and DBIL tried to take him for a walk one morning with their dog ( who he loves) and they returned after 10 minutes and said Finn sat down every 10 steps and looked back at the house. Not sure this rises to the level of medication but... Happy for all of you, especially your DS AND sweet Guiness!!

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

Thanks so much, Cheryl...Finn loves his Mommy.

[Janie, Jackson and Jilly]

So happy that this has all worked out in such a positive way! I'm happy for your whole and and for sweet Guiness!! Such good news!

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

Thanks Janie!

[Traz, Karen & Dale]

Awesome news, Jane!  I'm glad that things are going better for all of you.  Way to go, Murphy!  We have learned so much from Traz during the 2+ months he has been with us.  We have had to re-evaluate what we did, pre-Traz, and make adjustments for our sweet guy.  Definite challenges, but we have continued to move forward too, and so has he.  I look forward to reading more about your beautiful journey with your precious family.  Take care :-) 

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

Thank you, Karen.  I'm so happy to hear that you're learning and growing with Traz....you own "journey".

[BG and Gavin]

Awesome news Jane.  Your perspective is very insightful:  "I never really knew who Murphy was..not really"  He had so many worries and things to take care of, he could not relax and be the loving dood he wanted to me.  Thanks for sticking with him over this long haul.  Hugs to him and dear Guiness.

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

Thanks, BG....I really believe that I didn't "lose" Murph when he went on the meds....I actually found him....and we're still discovering new things.