Hell’o’ween

What is UP with all those strange decorations in people’s yards??? I cannot figure them out! Today, my brother tried to pee on a gravestone, but just as he was getting ready, this really scary sound came on, and made him pee all over on himself instead. And I saw a big hairy witch, who wanted to chase me; she had red eyes and looked really mean. Kind of like our neighbor; the one who yells at us every time we pass her house. She says we destroy her lawn, but it’s not true. We NEVER dig in her yard! OK, we may have peed on her grass a few times, but that was only to cover up some nasty smells, so really, she should thank us. And what’s up with all those pumpkins? They don’t even smell good. I can’t believe people want to eat them! Yuk. The spiders are OK though; I like to chase them. Most of them are easy targets. The one we have out in the front goes up and down on a string every time I bark. I think it’s pretty stupid; it never seems to catch any flies. But here's the WORST: My Mom wants to dress me up in a costume for Hell’o’ween!! NO WAY! I’m telling you, if she tries to get that ugly pink princess dress over my head one more time, I’m hiding under my dog house until Thanksgiving!!! Lilo

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