A house is Not A Home

[Pam & Trixie]

I could not shake my sadness yesterday. I started missing my sister who I lost 15 years ago. I played some of the music I loved that reminded me of her, Toast & Marmalade for Two, Stoned Loved...

 

 Even Trixie could not get the sadness to go away. This morning I realized it was a 5 weeks ago today that we learned our Flat Coat Deja had an aggressive cancer-Hemangiosarcoma. She was doing fine all day. Then in a minute she was lying on the floor & could not move. I thought she was having a stroke. We called our ER vet & they said to bring her in. We Also called our 2 daughters & said- if you can get home...do. The 1st one got home & Deja sat up to see her! We thought- Oh good she is feeling better. She walked around & wagged her tail. Our other daughter got home & Deja Barked when she heard the door!

We all headed to the ER vet. We learned at the vet that She had Pericardial Effusion...When the sac around the heart fills with Blood. it was squeezing & Constricting her heart : ( We could Euthanise her...or they could 'Tap' The fluid. We were not ready to say good bye. We had them Tap her sac. She needed to stay over night for Observation & Fluids. We picked her up in the morning. She had not slept all night & kept them very entertained.

We had to keep her Quiet for a week. That was hard after the 1st Day..Even at almost eleven Deja loved to play & wanted her Treatball every night at 6pm! We also knew her heart sac could fill again at any moment. We did not leave her alone for more then an hour. After a week of rest we took her for a walk. She loved Every minute of it. We even had a Small Mardi Gras party & She got some King Cake & Beads. The next day we got out most of her toys (she has about 70 Stuffed Animals) she takes very good care of them. We got Pictures & video of her with her toys.

 2 days later...She came over to me, sat in front of me & gave me that Look. I was so sad to see in her eyes "Mom, I dont feel good. It is time" She started to Pant & Laid down on the floor. My daughter called our Vet right away. I called my Husband to get home. We called our other daughter at work. She did not answer. I called her bf & told him to get a hold of her- Which he did. She met us at the vets.

We could not get Deja to move, how would we get her to the vet? we got a blanket under her & finally got her upstairs, It was very hard! She weighs 60# but it felt like 100. Then we thought how can we get her in her little car? Luckily my husband got home just then & we got Deja in his car. We made the sad trip to the vet...They came out to help us bring her inside. But Deja Got up, Stepped out of the Car & Walked in on her Own- Such a sweetie. :` )

We knew then...that those 9 wonderful days with her- giving her extra love, were over. It was time to say goodbye. It was so hard to make this decision. She went to the rainbow Bridge on March 3rd- 4 days before her 11th birthday. 4 days before my 3 year Cancerversary. She was there for me for those 3 terribly hard years.

I decided I was not going to get another dog...3 days later I knew that I could not live in a house without a dog...for it was that- just a house...not a Home...I also knew it had to be a Special dog.

I started looking for my Goldendoodle puppy. I found Trixie...She would come home to us in 9 days. My daughter thought it was not a coincidence that Deja lived 9 days & Trixie would be ours in 9 days.

 

I miss Deja every day.

Trixie means 'Bringer of Joy' & she has done that so much.

 

She has made our house a Home again

 

Deja 3-7-2000 to 3-3-2011

[Joan, Louie and Mila]

I cried...so sweet.

[F, Calla & Luca]

So sorry to hear about Deja and happy to hear about Trixie.

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

Thank you for sharing Deja's story with us.  She sounds like a very special dog, and I know how much you must be missing her now.  I'm so happy that Trixie has come into your life to help you through this very sad time.

[Deanna & Desi & Cori]

I'm so glad you were able to have those "extra" nine days - to love her and to prepare for her passing.  And I'm glad you have Trixie in your lives to help ease your grief a bit...

[Suzann, Rosey & Bandit]

Bless you during this difficult time.  Deja looks like a great personality that you will cherish forever in you heart.

[Leslie and Halas]

I'm so sorry for what you've been through.  But know that your Trixie will definitely bring much joy and happiness to your life.

[BG and Gavin]

What a beautifully told story about a very sad event.  Deja was clearly a gorgeous girl and clearly loved.  Wishing you much happiness with your new girl Trixie.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

I am so sorry for your loss. I didn't want any more dogs after our old Lab had to be put to sleep, but within months  I could not stand it. I agree with you, a house is just better with a dog. I am so glad sweet Trixie is helping you through all of the pain.

[cheryl & oliver]

Please accept my sincere condolenses on your loss...It is so hard to say goodbye, but I think maybe Deja had something to do with your getting Trixie and making her the right dog for you.  Deja will be in your heart forever, and now that Trixie is in your house, she will make it a home again.  I have told other people to plant a blooming plant or bush in honor of the one that has passed, and when it grows and blooms, it will make you smile and remind you of all the wonderful things you loved about Deja...I will light a candle for Deja tonight...

[Allyson, Peri & Taquito]

I am so sorry for your loss.  I hope Trixie is bringing that wonderful doodle comfort to you and your family.