Catalog Shopping for a Doodle!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Many things bug me in life.  Just ask my family.  I am very vocal about the things that irritate me and many of my family members can often be heard saying, “Give it a rest, grousemeister!”  Grouse isn’t really the word they use, but it sounds nicer than the actuality.  My mom also used to say, “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all,” but I have found when I really get going when something bugs me, it wouldn’t be fair to my family to just clam up and keep my opinions to myself, because the silence that followed would just be awkward.  Also, since I don’t know sign language, there would be no other way to make my point.  If you are married to me, by now you would be wondering, “how can I distance myself amicably from this tirade and still feign enough interest that she doesn’t turn her attention to my faults?” Luckily, you have the option of clicking off, but I think what I have to say is important.

 

When did shopping for our Doodles become like ordering an item from the Sears catalog?  Growing up, it seemed like people I knew just had dogs.  Most were mutts and I never heard anyone go on and on about their expectations regarding looks, coat type, nose color, specific size and weight requirements, or overall appearance.  Yes, I admit I was taken with the cuteness of a Doodle and still am, but the only reason I would select a specific color next time is because I am determined to use the name Black Olive, which works much better on a black dog and they don’t come in green.  I would also be willing to change the name to just plain Olive if the right dog found me.  As far as nose color and coat type, luckily I had no clue that it mattered.  The only question I was smart enough to ask was about temperament and I still didn’t get exactly what I wanted, but it doesn’t change how I feel about my dogs.  Besides that, who is to say the whole nature versus nurture debate can’t be argued about our dogs, too?

 

It just seems to me we are getting more specific about requirements when picking out our dogs and opening ourselves up to a whole can of worms down the road if something goes wrong. Dog must be under 20 pounds….what happens if it grows to be 30 pounds?  Dog must not shed…..what happens if you take a chance on a mixed breed and it sheds?  Dog’s coat must be curly….what happens if that doesn’t pan out and your dog doesn’t look Doodley enough?  The list could go on and on, but these are living, breathing creatures we are talking about and genetics can be a tricky thing.  Our neighbors are an ordinary couple, not too big or tall, and their son is huge and by huge, I mean he could hang out with professional football players and make a few of them seem small.  I have one daughter who is 5’10” and the other one may hit the measuring tape at 5’3”.  Sure, we can use the old joke about the mailman, but in my case, the mailman is old and rarely speaks and I imagine if I asked him if he would like to start a torrid affair with me, all he would say is, “here’s your mail.”  Nope, it is genetics that can cause the unpredictability in families and if you convince yourself that if you start having kids they all have to be a certain size fully grown, good luck with that plan.  The same holds true with our Doodles. They are like snowflakes and no two are ever the same. I really think if appearance is all that matters you would be better off going to Build-a-Bear and picking out a stuffed dog.

 

What if our dogs had the ability to turn the tables on us and select the owner who meets their criteria?  Can you imagine a dog saying, “What color is her nose?  Is her hair curly or straight?  Does she weigh less than 135 pounds?  I surely can’t, because none of this superficiality matters to a dog.   They already know that love can happen in all sizes, shapes, and outward appearances, and they are far more forgiving and accepting than humans.  When you think about it, a dog doesn't have any options at all, they get who they get in an owner, faults and all, and frankly, they often end up with the short end of the stick.  What is that old saying?  Let me be as good as my dog thinks I am.  Maybe it should be changed to, Let me learn to love like my dog does..simply and without all these expectations.  So, the next time I see a question being asked about a specific physical characteristic of a prospective puppy or an already gotten dog, I am not going to answer, “who cares?” but, hug my dogs and thank them for accepting me just the way I am, imperfections and all.

[Adina P]

Regarding our dogs and whether they got what they were hoping for:  http://www.doodlekisses.com/profiles/blogs/2065244:BlogPost:19638

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Sheri, It is late, so I hope my answer makes sense. LOL  I think anytime you spend a lot of money on anything, you should absolutely think about your wants and desires. When I go to pick out an appliance, we check for reviews and since I pick almost everything by color that weighs in heavily with me. Just ask my husband why I have so many bikes, until I got smart and picked one that fit my body rather than by color :) I certainly love big dogs, shaggy dogs, chocolate dogs, cute dogs, etc., and since we had Labs in the past, with Fudge and Vern I bought into the hype and decided this time around my dog would be like a Lab, only non-shedding. Luckily, it worked out for me :)

Like Nancy, I see nothing wrong with having a wish list and must haves when searching for a dog, but sometimes, I feel as if the requirements are getting a little crazy right down to nose color.  It feels to me like sometimes people are trying to "build" the perfect dog when no such thing is ever possible. A Doodle is still just a dog...gasp :) As long as we are willing to accept that in our dogs when they might not turn out exactly as we had hoped and we understand that genetics does not allow us to predict lots of things when it comes to a mixed breed dog, I am all for wishing and hoping and dreaming that the "perfect" dog comes along. I hope this makes sense. This is one of those times I know what I want to say, but I am having trouble articulating it :)

I am also sorry Sophie and you have had to take a break from your therapy work and I hope they can resume in the future. Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment. Oh, and BTW, I think Lucy and Sophie got very lucky when you found them :)

Becka, What are you trying to say about poor Fudge and Vern? LOL  Thank you for your comment, too. I was one of the first to choose with Fudge's litter, but Vern was one of two not picked yet (I think) and I know he was waiting for me. With both dogs, I just know it was meant to be. I am glad you found your Sadie.

Karen, Thanks for making what I am trying to say sound better :) I loved BG's comment to you. I can't imagine you re-homing any animal, except maybe a snake...LOL!

Nancy, I am thinking Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Gracie sounds pretty good :) My DD almost talked me into getting a French Bulldog from the same litter as her dog and we were "this close" to getting a Doodle and a Frenchie at the same time. Luckily, I held off and waited for Vern to make his way to us. My DD did a lot of research and was determined to get a Frenchie and they have been wonderful dogs for her. Isn't it funny how what is right for someone might not be right for you? I am so glad sweet Clancy stopped lifting his leg :)

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

CA-Gracie sooooo tugs at my heart.  I hope she tugs at the right someone's heart soon, so I can quit worrying about the right furever and ever home for her.  Sherri, I really hope that when Sophie's chemo is over, you and she will be able to resume your visits for a long time.

BG, you are so right about Karen.  Perhaps we see a future Laurie blog about Karen and her surprise pet.

I see nothing wrong in having a list of wishes when choosing a dog. I see nothing wrong in having must haves either.  However, a dose of reality is needed.    What compromises are you willing to make on the wish list? Does that dog fit your must haves? If not, don't get it; choose something else.  My dh and I really liked the Jack Russell Terriers we met, but when we researched the breed, we realized that they were absolutely NOT the right dog for our family or our lifestyle. We unchose getting one.  We adored the  darling little French bulldogs, but when we researched them, we realized that they were absolutely not the right dog for our family and our lifestyle so we unchose that breed.  When we saw small doodles, we fell in love, did almost no research, but lucked out on getting a dog that fit into our family and our lifestyle.  If he hadn't, we would have loved him anyway and adapted our lifestyle, cuz that is the way we roll. However, ours is a happily ever after tale.  

I have no problem the patience it takes for potty training, but for me, the true deal breaker is a dog who pees and poops in the house because they just refuse to be housebroken. When we got Clancy - adult, rescue - the first thing he did was lift his leg inside. This turned out to be a settling in situation, but if it hadn't I would have looked at re-homing. 

[Lucy & AnnaBelle's Mom]

Karen, you were reading me correctly.  If I ever did it again I would be looking at the breeder 1st and then making sure that they were matching me with with temperment and personality that I wanted.  It is so hard right now not having a therapy dog to work with.  That was my main reason for getting another dog after loosing our little poodle.  I had spent 50 years looking for my purpose in this life, and Sophie and I had found that purpose.  Now that she is unable to go, I feel somewhat lost.  I hope beyond all hope that when her chemo is over she will once again be able to visit, but there are no promises.  So, temperment and personality would definitely be my number one goals next time around.

BG -- you comment to Karen is priceless.  When I read she may have done the unthinkable and rehomed a dog I actually gasped out loud ... not our Karen.  You said it perfectly!

Becka ... amazing how they find us isn't it.  I would like to think that Lucy and Sophie are happy with their choice of Mike and I as well!

[Bonnie and Kona]

Great observation, BG. We've all got your number, Karen. ;o)

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

LOL, BG, you're probably right! But I wouldn't be having anywhere near as much fun!

[BG and Gavin]

Gimme a break Karen - someone could have sold you a pig dressed as a dog and once you found out it was a pig, you would have build it a sty, started preparing slop and joined SwineKisses.com !  :)

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Becka, JD is flattered, lol, especially since I do occasionally tell him that he's a doofus!

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Sheri, I think the difference lies in what you wrote here:

 "I now know "what to look for in a breeder", I now know about temperment testing, and I also know the characteristics of both Lucy and Sophie and their different types of coat that I like as well as the personality traits that I love.  I have fostered 3 labradoodles and one golden doodle and gotten a feel for what traits I really don't like etc.  So, if I put my "Catalog shopping" wants in the appropriate order, is that still wrong?"

If I'm reading you right, the "appropriate order" means that you would be looking at temperament and personality first, not color or size.That's not catalog shopping, that's what getting a dog is all about. But you have learned that every doodle doesn't have the "retriever temperament". Education is the key. Learning about dogs is the key. The person who knows little to nothing about dog breeds in general and "researches" doodles by reading the breeder sales pitches believes that all doodles have the same temperament and that it's always calm, friendly, good with kids, etc., so what else is there to think about other than size, color, and upholstery, lol?

I also love medium to large shaggy dogs with great big black noses, and over the years I have dreamed about Otterhounds, Bouvier de Flandres, Briards, Old English Sheepdogs, and Bearded Collies. But then I researched them, and I saw that none of these breeds would work for me and my lifestyle, regardless of how cute they are. Looks just cannot be the primary criteria when it comes to living beings. What helped me in understanding this was that the best breeders and advocates of these breeds makes it very clear that they are not for everyone, that they do have certain traits and characteristics that can be challenging to live with, that they need certain kinds of lifestyles or training, etc. If all Briard, Bouvier, and Bearded Collie breeders had nothing but superlative hype and sales pitches on their websites, and every owner I met had only praise and rave reviews, with none of the honest pros and cons of the breed, I might very easily have ended up doing the unthinkable and rehoming a dog.

So dream away. Your priorities are straight, lol.

 

[Becka]

Sheri, yours is a lovely sentiment. I absolutely don't think dreaming and catalog shopping are the same thing. Every day we see so many photos of each others' beautiful doodles and imagine our next doodle might look as striking as Ann's Sheba or be as smart as Jackdoodle or as long-sufferingly patient as Fudge and Vern ;). But we also know that doodles are an unpredictable mix and that we will love what we get. I wanted a doodle because I had a cockapoo as a child and he was so smart and goofy, as were most of the doodles I kept meeting. I had hoped for a doodle that didn't shed, but having had cats for 15 years I knew that shedding isn't the end of the world, either. My only concern was that the Florida heat might be tough on a dark-colored dog. But when the time came to choose, Sadie was the only pup left unclaimed in her litter--I really don't know why--and I am convinced she was always meant to be my dog.