Catalog Shopping for a Doodle!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Many things bug me in life.  Just ask my family.  I am very vocal about the things that irritate me and many of my family members can often be heard saying, “Give it a rest, grousemeister!”  Grouse isn’t really the word they use, but it sounds nicer than the actuality.  My mom also used to say, “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all,” but I have found when I really get going when something bugs me, it wouldn’t be fair to my family to just clam up and keep my opinions to myself, because the silence that followed would just be awkward.  Also, since I don’t know sign language, there would be no other way to make my point.  If you are married to me, by now you would be wondering, “how can I distance myself amicably from this tirade and still feign enough interest that she doesn’t turn her attention to my faults?” Luckily, you have the option of clicking off, but I think what I have to say is important.

 

When did shopping for our Doodles become like ordering an item from the Sears catalog?  Growing up, it seemed like people I knew just had dogs.  Most were mutts and I never heard anyone go on and on about their expectations regarding looks, coat type, nose color, specific size and weight requirements, or overall appearance.  Yes, I admit I was taken with the cuteness of a Doodle and still am, but the only reason I would select a specific color next time is because I am determined to use the name Black Olive, which works much better on a black dog and they don’t come in green.  I would also be willing to change the name to just plain Olive if the right dog found me.  As far as nose color and coat type, luckily I had no clue that it mattered.  The only question I was smart enough to ask was about temperament and I still didn’t get exactly what I wanted, but it doesn’t change how I feel about my dogs.  Besides that, who is to say the whole nature versus nurture debate can’t be argued about our dogs, too?

 

It just seems to me we are getting more specific about requirements when picking out our dogs and opening ourselves up to a whole can of worms down the road if something goes wrong. Dog must be under 20 pounds….what happens if it grows to be 30 pounds?  Dog must not shed…..what happens if you take a chance on a mixed breed and it sheds?  Dog’s coat must be curly….what happens if that doesn’t pan out and your dog doesn’t look Doodley enough?  The list could go on and on, but these are living, breathing creatures we are talking about and genetics can be a tricky thing.  Our neighbors are an ordinary couple, not too big or tall, and their son is huge and by huge, I mean he could hang out with professional football players and make a few of them seem small.  I have one daughter who is 5’10” and the other one may hit the measuring tape at 5’3”.  Sure, we can use the old joke about the mailman, but in my case, the mailman is old and rarely speaks and I imagine if I asked him if he would like to start a torrid affair with me, all he would say is, “here’s your mail.”  Nope, it is genetics that can cause the unpredictability in families and if you convince yourself that if you start having kids they all have to be a certain size fully grown, good luck with that plan.  The same holds true with our Doodles. They are like snowflakes and no two are ever the same. I really think if appearance is all that matters you would be better off going to Build-a-Bear and picking out a stuffed dog.

 

What if our dogs had the ability to turn the tables on us and select the owner who meets their criteria?  Can you imagine a dog saying, “What color is her nose?  Is her hair curly or straight?  Does she weigh less than 135 pounds?  I surely can’t, because none of this superficiality matters to a dog.   They already know that love can happen in all sizes, shapes, and outward appearances, and they are far more forgiving and accepting than humans.  When you think about it, a dog doesn't have any options at all, they get who they get in an owner, faults and all, and frankly, they often end up with the short end of the stick.  What is that old saying?  Let me be as good as my dog thinks I am.  Maybe it should be changed to, Let me learn to love like my dog does..simply and without all these expectations.  So, the next time I see a question being asked about a specific physical characteristic of a prospective puppy or an already gotten dog, I am not going to answer, “who cares?” but, hug my dogs and thank them for accepting me just the way I am, imperfections and all.

[Lucy & AnnaBelle's Mom]

I have had this post on my mind since reading it the first time a few days ago.  While I realize that most of this is geared towards those who don't end up with what they want and then give them up, it had me thinking a lot about just the concept of "catalog shopping".  I have since I first fell in love with Lucy and Sophie thought of what would Doodle Number 3 be if we were to get another.  (DH would do it tomorrow).  I have thought I wanted one in each color, then a chocolate one, then a big red one, then it seems that the creamy/apricot ones always seem to catch my eye.  Everytime I see a new photo I think Oh I love this or I love that about this particular doodle.   When I first learned of the GoldenDoodle/Labradoodle breed I originally fell in love with the shaggy look.  I love a shaggy dog.  The only thought I had from looking at photos was I don't want black ... lol.  I had a small poodle for 16 years and she basically was no trouble at all other than Vet bills for seasonal allergies.  She just existed in our environment.  There was no planning our lives around her.  So, when I learned of the Doodle bread (before DK obviously) I just saw adorable shaggy dog.  My folks had a golden/lab mix that was wonderful and we had a poodle before so I thought perfect.  DH wants a big dog, I want a shaggy dog, it is the perfect mix.  So off we went to the breeders to look at what would become Sophie.  We did everything under the sun wrong except we did not purchase from a puppy mill or pet store.  So, I've often thought that armed with what I now know, if I were going to spend between 1500 and 2500 dollars for #3, what would I want?  I gotta admit, this dreaming,  it did and still does feel a little like catalog shopping.  I now know "what to look for in a breeder", I now know about temperment testing, and I also know the characteristics of both Lucy and Sophie and their different types of coat that I like as well as the personality traits that I love.  I have fostered 3 labradoodles and one golden doodle and gotten a feel for what traits I really don't like etc.  So, if I put my "Catalog shopping" wants in the appropriate order, is that still wrong?  I know when we went to look at Sophie and all I really knew was I'm not going to a pet store and I don't want black, that when Lucy pushed her way through the pack of 11 to get to Mike, he fell in love and  I wasn't leaving without Sophie because she was so much smaller than the rest and looked at me like please don't put me back in that pack, Mike wasn't leaving without Lucy.  Well there went my shopping list!   She was black, she got bigger than I would have liked but not as big as Mike would have liked, she has cost me a fortune in time and energy because of her allergies and CCL rupture, and she isn't the therapy dog that I wanted so DH and I could do therapy work together, but she is also my total love bug.  So, even if I dream about my perfect doodle, I still have room in my heart for the one that chooses me.  Is dreaming the same as catalog shopping?

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Nicky, Sounds like you were a big help to the woman and now is the time to find out all the pertinent information BEFORE bringing the puppy home.

Karen, I went back and looked at what I wrote to that question when I joined DK and sure enough, I said I wanted a non-shedding dog. I think in my case God does look out for fools because Fudge does not shed at all and Vern not very much. Plus, you are right about the Poodle thing, too. I have spent no time with a Poodle, although I fell in love with one on a walk down our Rail Trail and did consider getting one for some time.

Lisa, Luckily, Fudge and Vern are doing their part to dissuade prospective owners from wanting a Doodle :) LOL  Yes, I couldn't sleep last night worrying about Gracie.

Gina, I agree...the right dog finds you and there is a reason you came together. I loved to read how you ended up with Buddy and Kona. All of you hit the jackpot.

[Nicky, Riley & Boris]

I just had a call from a woman who wanted to visit Boris because she is looking for a non-shedding dog for her son and knew I had a puppy from a particular breeder.  After a five minute conversation with me she agreed that perhaps Goldendoodles (F1) were not the breed for her family.  

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Lisa, that's so important. About 5 people join the DRC website every day, looking for a doodle. In 90% of the cases, their answer to the question "Why have you chosen a doodle?" is that they have a friend, neighbor, or relative who has one and they want the same dog, right down to the color and size. In 95% of the cases, they also add that they want a doodle because they are non-shedding, and the answer to the question "Are you aware that some doodles do shed and are not allergy-friendly?" is NO. Often they will add "My friend's goldendoodle doesn't shed".

I have yet to see one person say that they chose this "breed" simply because they are attracted to their looks alone. It is always about shedding, and the same "internet/breeder website" wording: Good temperaments, personalities like retrievers, the intelligence of the poodle, etc."

Of course we want dogs whose looks attract us. It's the rest of the false hype that causes the problems. Stop talking about shedding and the temperaments of retrievers with the hair/intelligence of poodles. Genetics don't work that, and I also have a news flash for a lot of people. If your doodle is a clown, if he/she jumps and leaps and prances and loves attention, your dog most likely has a personality/temperament that's a lot more poodle than retriever. A lot of what we love in these dogs is from the poodle side. Sadly, the majority of would-be doodle owners has never spent 10 minutes with a poodle and has no idea what their temperaments are like. So let's stop talking about the retriever personalities, the poodle hair, and leave it at cute.

[Lisa, Daisy & Dexter]

When people meet Daisy they immediately ask what she is...my new answer will be a Goldendoodle that out of the box was NOTHING like what you see before you. Yes she is cute but guess what, her calm, sweet demeanor and gentle ways was hardly what we came home with and her ability to impress you now was a "learned" behavior and took 2 years and some continued training. If you are looking for a "Daisy" she can't be cloned.

[Lisa, Daisy & Dexter]

I just read the post about Gracie, heartsick for what she has gone through...she truly would be the perfect match for anyone of us Doodle Moms that know we will probably be too old for a puppy but have to have another dog. This poor baby, right from the beginning was dealt an unfair hand by humans, praying for the best forever home on the planet for her.

[GBK]

I have asked the shopping question many times to myself when people put there list down of must haves for their doodles!?!?  Do they take the "designer dog" thing seriously, on order?  When I got Buddy, all I asked for was a "larger" cockapoo because I loved my last one so much.  Didn't matter the color or the sex.  My breeder showed me a pic of the pup and the price and the most important thing I was looking for was health testing and a good temperment.  Hmm, what I got was a 60lb (supposed to be 40 tops) extra curly little brat of a puppy, that was just what I needed to take my sorrow away from just losing my sweet 16 year old shadow!  You get what you are supposed to get, I truly believe that.

When I went back to get Kona, I was really going back for another cockapoo. Fate stepped in and Kona was available, an adorable chunk of chocolate, that really did turn out to be 30lbs :)  Here I was ready for another little sassy puppy, and what a shock, she was sweet, sweet, sweet, except to Buddy LOL  Karma is a B isn't it! They are perfect together, and so totally different in most ways.  I never touched these puppies until they came to me, and I couldn't be more in love with them, and that is mostly due to the work put into them.  The are not perfect little angels from the time they come home, you get out of them what you put into them.  I wish people would realize that.....  I can't tell you how many times people say, "Oh what perfect dogs you have, what breed are they?", I tell them this is a wonderful mix but it is a lot of training and time spent teaching them to be well behaved in all situations.  Their eyes usually glaze over by then, honestly, they just want these dogs to be perfect from the day they come home.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

CA-Gracie's story breaks my heart.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

I just read the posting for Gracie from CA on the front page. Everyone should read it. This is just one dog who did not meet someone's expectations.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Karen, Thank you! I am just glad he found his way to you! I forgot about the "hybrid vigor" and Vern says 85 pounds is nothing :) LOL