Catalog Shopping for a Doodle!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Many things bug me in life.  Just ask my family.  I am very vocal about the things that irritate me and many of my family members can often be heard saying, “Give it a rest, grousemeister!”  Grouse isn’t really the word they use, but it sounds nicer than the actuality.  My mom also used to say, “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all,” but I have found when I really get going when something bugs me, it wouldn’t be fair to my family to just clam up and keep my opinions to myself, because the silence that followed would just be awkward.  Also, since I don’t know sign language, there would be no other way to make my point.  If you are married to me, by now you would be wondering, “how can I distance myself amicably from this tirade and still feign enough interest that she doesn’t turn her attention to my faults?” Luckily, you have the option of clicking off, but I think what I have to say is important.

 

When did shopping for our Doodles become like ordering an item from the Sears catalog?  Growing up, it seemed like people I knew just had dogs.  Most were mutts and I never heard anyone go on and on about their expectations regarding looks, coat type, nose color, specific size and weight requirements, or overall appearance.  Yes, I admit I was taken with the cuteness of a Doodle and still am, but the only reason I would select a specific color next time is because I am determined to use the name Black Olive, which works much better on a black dog and they don’t come in green.  I would also be willing to change the name to just plain Olive if the right dog found me.  As far as nose color and coat type, luckily I had no clue that it mattered.  The only question I was smart enough to ask was about temperament and I still didn’t get exactly what I wanted, but it doesn’t change how I feel about my dogs.  Besides that, who is to say the whole nature versus nurture debate can’t be argued about our dogs, too?

 

It just seems to me we are getting more specific about requirements when picking out our dogs and opening ourselves up to a whole can of worms down the road if something goes wrong. Dog must be under 20 pounds….what happens if it grows to be 30 pounds?  Dog must not shed…..what happens if you take a chance on a mixed breed and it sheds?  Dog’s coat must be curly….what happens if that doesn’t pan out and your dog doesn’t look Doodley enough?  The list could go on and on, but these are living, breathing creatures we are talking about and genetics can be a tricky thing.  Our neighbors are an ordinary couple, not too big or tall, and their son is huge and by huge, I mean he could hang out with professional football players and make a few of them seem small.  I have one daughter who is 5’10” and the other one may hit the measuring tape at 5’3”.  Sure, we can use the old joke about the mailman, but in my case, the mailman is old and rarely speaks and I imagine if I asked him if he would like to start a torrid affair with me, all he would say is, “here’s your mail.”  Nope, it is genetics that can cause the unpredictability in families and if you convince yourself that if you start having kids they all have to be a certain size fully grown, good luck with that plan.  The same holds true with our Doodles. They are like snowflakes and no two are ever the same. I really think if appearance is all that matters you would be better off going to Build-a-Bear and picking out a stuffed dog.

 

What if our dogs had the ability to turn the tables on us and select the owner who meets their criteria?  Can you imagine a dog saying, “What color is her nose?  Is her hair curly or straight?  Does she weigh less than 135 pounds?  I surely can’t, because none of this superficiality matters to a dog.   They already know that love can happen in all sizes, shapes, and outward appearances, and they are far more forgiving and accepting than humans.  When you think about it, a dog doesn't have any options at all, they get who they get in an owner, faults and all, and frankly, they often end up with the short end of the stick.  What is that old saying?  Let me be as good as my dog thinks I am.  Maybe it should be changed to, Let me learn to love like my dog does..simply and without all these expectations.  So, the next time I see a question being asked about a specific physical characteristic of a prospective puppy or an already gotten dog, I am not going to answer, “who cares?” but, hug my dogs and thank them for accepting me just the way I am, imperfections and all.

[Leslie and Halas]

I think there's a difference between a list of physical traits you might like and a list of expectations. If those expectations are more like must-haves, then a doodle isn't the right dog, simply because it's really tough to be sure about size, coat type, etc. Like Karen said, if size, color, or non-shedding are deal breakers, go with a purebred. I think the trouble comes in when so many people don't realize that there's a huge variety in doodles, and they get a doodle expecting that it will meet their must-haves. A lot of us here on DK may have had a picture in our minds of what our doodle would be like, or a list of physical traits we were looking for, but all of that went out the window within minutes of meeting our doodles. We quickly decided that shedding vs non, curly vs wavy, cream vs red vs black vs brown vs numerous other colors didn't matter. It's fun to wonder what they'll look like when they're older, as long as the answer doesn't change how much you love them. But, unfortunately, the answer does sometimes change that for people.

Great blog, Laurie. Oh, and if Halas could pick the perfect owner, he'd still pick me, but he'd make me a stay at home doodle mom.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Actually, F, I lied. What is really being said here, and to me, it's pure poetry, is that dogs, all dogs, are wondrous creatures, and we would all be happier, and better, if we could be more like them.

"... none of this superficiality matters to a dog.   They already know that love can happen in all sizes, shapes, and outward appearances, and they are far more forgiving and accepting than humans.  When you think about it, a dog doesn't have any options at all, they get who they get in an owner, faults and all, and frankly, they often end up with the short end of the stick.  What is that old saying?  Let me be as good as my dog thinks I am.  Maybe it should be changed to, Let me learn to love like my dog does..simply and without all these expectations..."

Now, who could argue with that? The lady may have strange taste in swimwear, but on this one, she got it exactly right. :-)

 

[F, Calla & Luca]

Sometimes I think people are too discouraging but everything you said is true, Karen.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Here's the difference, to me. Anyone who buys a purebred poodle, experienced dog owner or novice, is going to get a dog who doesn't shed, period. They will never be posting in a forum "What kind of coat do you think my puppy will have", or "Will my puppy ever get fuller/fluffier/a beard" These things at least are gaurnateed, and the person who bought the puppy cannot be disappointed in the dog's coat, so that is to me a much more secure situation for the dog than the case of a doodle owner who ends up with a puppy who sheds or has a flat coat. Now, the dog might still get rehomed because the person didn't realize what kind of commitment a puppy is, how much work they are, etc., but at least for this reason, the dog will not be rehomed. A person who buys a purebred miniature poodle from a reputable breeder is not going to get a dog who weighs 30 or 40 lbs, or is 17 inches tall, so that person is never going to be posting in a forum "How big do you think my puppy is going to be, the breeder told me he would be x lbs or y inches tall but he is already z lbs and we have a weight limit at our condo association." Doodle get rehomed for these reasons, people. For being too big or for shedding. If there is any chance at all that someone will reject a dog when he is  year old because his size or coat is not what the breeder promised or what the person was led to believe, and these things are deal-breakers for that person, then every single DK member here who claims to care about doodles has a moral obligation to try to dissuade that person from getting a doodle. Period. There are other breeds that would be better choices for that person. That's all that is being said here. Everyone can't be directly involved in doodle rescue, but at least we don't have to indirectly be the cause of more doodles ending up homeless by encouraging someone who has clearly been misinformed about doodles to get one.

[BG and Gavin]

Thoughtful blog Laurie.  I think when selecting anything we tend to have certain ideals in mind.  As we get older and have more life experience, we tend to become more realistic.  Think what your check list looked like for an ideal mate when you were 17 vs 30.  At 17 "he has to be tall dark and handsome and make a lot of money."  At 30 "he has to be breathing."  I think with dogs its the same.  A first time owner has a long list of ideals, while those with more dog experience tend to be more realistic in their expectations.  Hmmm maybe that's why rescues like to adopt only to experienced dog owners - they are more realistic in their expectations.

[F, Calla & Luca]

Karen, Stop encouraging Laurie with blarney about Guinness.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Sandy, I would like to say I was smart enough to ask all the right questions when I got Fudge.  I believed the hype that Doodles do not shed and are perfect with other dogs, etc.  I fell in love with her picture. I didn't really ask about size or coat type. I didn't even know there were different coat types. LOL I did ask over and over again about temperament and the breeder told me she was the calmest one in the bunch. What I now think is the rest of the bunch must have been nuts :) The breeder was reputable, did health testing, offered a guarantee, etc. Luckily, Fudge does not shed, but what if she did and that was a make or break deal. She also does not like all dogs. She went to doggie daycare, dog classes, dog parks, and was well socialized with other dogs, but nope, she is selective about other dogs and romps are not in our future.  Then there is Vern. Never did I imagine I would have a 96 pound Doodle. What if that was a make or break deal? Sadly, not all pet owners who expected one thing and got another are fine with it. You and I are. I certainly don't want to make anyone feel guilty for asking the questions, but when people are looking for very specific physical traits I feel Karen is correct in that a doodle might not be the dog for them. I feel the same way when people say Doodles are perfect with children, other dogs, and get along with everybody. They might, but not all do.

[DJ & Chance]

Great blog. I "thought" I wanted a female in the 25-35 lb range with cream coloring. But Chance was the puppy who stole my heart with his personality and the fact that he is a small, light red male who will be lucky to crack 20 lbs as an adult doesn't matter at all.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Thanks, Joanne. Yes, I saw that information about the franchise and it scared the heck out of me. I hope there is not a catalog out there, but wouldn't be surprised.

Sandy, I agree about having choices and there is the argument that you are spending a great deal of money on a dog and have the right to try and get the best choice for your family. It is just when it seems that the outward appearance is all that matters that I get worked up :) When someone has such high expectations and they don't get met, I worry for the dog.  As long as the commitment is there, regardless of what happens, then that is a different matter. Thank you for your comment :)

[Bonnie and Kona]

I think all of our dogs would benefit from being your dogs, Jane. Your guys love you to bits.