Did I Just Say My Dogs Keep Me Calm?

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

The other day I posted a blog about the calming influence Fudge has had on me since I found out we were moving, but today I have to rescind the entire thing.  I think tonight I will have nightmares.  I have been super busy and the dogs are great inside the house, but as soon as I go out to work in the garage, all hell breaks loose.  I have found that the more I work in the garage, the more trouble they seem to find. Usually, I will start to hear stones landing on pavement and come out of the garage just in time to see our stone wall coming down in places as they dig feverishly for some critter inside. I used to think chipmunks were cute, until they took up residence in our stone wall.  On a beautiful day I hate to put the dogs inside when I am outside, but I also hate picking up stones and recreating our wall when I have so much else that needs to be done.  I try and remain conscious of the fact that a little bit of exercise goes a long way in keeping the Doodles happy and behaved.

 

Today we were getting ready to take our last walk of the day, but I decided to first take care of a few things inside. I had the front door open so I could keep an eye out on the dogs and often times they will come in to see what I am doing.  Fudge did exactly that and as I was informing her that I was just about done and their walk was next on my list, she walked back out the front door and I could see something was in her mouth.  Most of the time she gathers sticks to show me she is being naughty when I am not paying attention, but this time she seemed to be guarding something more closely and as I bent to take it from her mouth, I could tell it was a bird and she was not prepared to give it up.  I wasn’t happy to think that bird was in her mouth while she walking through the house and then she jumped in my car like it was perfectly normal to take her newly deceased friend with us on our walk.

 

Now here is where my dogs prove I may not be the greatest dog trainer because as I screamed for her to drop it, she just looked at me and held it tightly in her mouth.  She was nice enough to jump out of the car, but kept trying to stand far too closely to me to show me her prize and I felt like she wanted confirmation that it was "this bird" that she was supposed to drop.  Granted, she may have been confused by my language the more “drop its” I yelled and thought I was telling her to drop a duck when she knew it was a pigeon/dove (some bird other than a duck) that she was carrying around.  I tried a new training technique called grab a cushion and swing it around and then when that doesn’t work bang it on your hand and yell, “drop the damn bird,” and that didn’t work either.  Truthfully, I was between a rock and a hard place, because I was not touching that dead bird and Fudge wasn’t letting it go.  I also have another training technique called get it the car, honk the horn, and say stuff like, “too bad you don’t get to go, Fudge, because you won’t drop the bird,” and Fudge stood right next to the driver’s side window just looking at me with that bird still in her mouth.

 

By this time, I was mad that Fudge was being such a brat and I thought about trading with her for a higher value treat, but personally, if you are holding a dead bird in your mouth, isn’t everything a higher value treat and I didn’t think she would go for a rock or a stick.  So, I leashed her up and put the prong collar on her and walked her down the driveway telling her to “drop it” and letting her know with a slight tug that I wasn’t kidding around and she dropped it.  Throughout this entire process, Vern was watching from inside the car.  He didn’t seem too excited about the bird and was not about to vacate the car for fear I might call off the walk.  By the time I got a birdless Fudge in the car, I was entirely grossed out that Fudge had the nerve to want to stand next to me and possibly expose me to any bird goobers.  Of course, I was sure by this time that Vern was my perfect dog and I looked over with love in my eyes at my newly crowned favorite dog only to see that despite the fact that he did not seem overly excited about all the commotion, he was now riding shotgun with his red pistol about to fire.

 

I drove to the park slammed against my car door not wanting Fudge to even breathe on me and yelling at Vern to put his dingus away. Yes, I said dingus! I tried everything I could think of to get Vern to listen…..son, holster your weapon….put the red crayon back in the box….put that thing away before you poke someone’s eye out…and he proved as deaf as Fudge was when I talk. I swear he was smiling and seemed quite proud of his manhood.  He rode that way all the way to the park. I don’t know what all this means, but the expressions ruffle someone’s feathers and proud as a peacock come to mind for the day I have had with my dogs. 

Introducing Bird Killer and Mr. Enthusiastic

[DJ & Chance]

ROFL again and again.  Hilarious.

[Janie, Jackson and Jilly]

Your neighbors are going to miss the entertainment!

[Carol and Banjo]

I'm rating this blog as your #1 Best Seller Laurie.

[Linda, Charlie Brown and Beau]

Laurie ~ I think this may be a case of mistaken identities - there is no way these two sweet doodles would cause you any trouble!  LOL  BTW - I love to read your blogs because you paint a great picture and  I just know giggles are a comin'!

[Carol and Banjo]

OMD, I have tears in my eyes from laughing at the image of good 'ole Vern sitting patiently in the car......I can just see him now, while chaos ensues around him.

[F, Calla & Luca]

Oh boy. Where is Doggy Dan when you need him? Luca picked up a dead bird just the other day but I think it died a natural death. The dogs are not that interested in things that don't try to get away unless they have killed them. He dropped after only a few shouts from me. I have photos, which I sent to Joann for an ID but so far no response. My admiration for you grows. Imagine walking your dogs multiple times a day with all you have going on.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

LOL! Hard to be mad at those two faces!

I would hereby like to nominate Jackdoodle as your new "newly crowned favorite dog", Laurie. His red rocket has never made an appearance in the almost ten years that I have known him, and he has never had a dead bird or any other dead animal in his mouth. I think you will have to come meet him, once you're settled in your new less-than-two-hours-away-from-me home. :)

Of course, I do think that F & V really had your best interests at heart and were just trying to distract you from the work and stress of moving.

[Gail and Bailey]

Too funny!  My sides hurt I have laughed so hard!  I wish I could have been there to watch the entire thing!  OMD, Laurie.....you have such a flair for writing!  I will have a smile on my face all day thinking about dead birds, swinging cushions and red crayons!