Dogs and Kids....Are they Worth all the Money?

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

When the first words you hear from your husband upon waking up are, “Hayley just called and her car broke down and she is stranded miles away in a parking lot,” you can pretty much assume it might not be your best day.  I blame it on grogginess that I said the first words that entered my head, “I hope you told her wrong number and hung up the phone.” No such luck and after a tow, a day in the shop, and a hefty bill, her car was all fixed and she was back on the road.  It is times like this that I ask myself if I would have been happy if I had just raised dogs.  When Megan got married, John kept saying that he hoped he could retire someday, and I would shake my head in agreement and add,   “I told you I had a headache that one day, nine months before her birth, but you wouldn’t listen.”   The thing is no one ever tells you that kids get more expensive as they get older.  By the time you have that all figured out, the little buggars have grown on you and you can’t imagine your life without them.  Dogs don’t get married.  Dogs don’t go to college.   Dogs don’t need Ugg boots for their birthday and they certainly don’t hand you their Christmas list with money starred and highlighted and listed as the top thing they want in their Christmas stocking.  Normally, my argument would be that dogs are far cheaper than children, except for us, not in the month of March.

 

March isn’t my favorite month.  Weather wise it can’t make up its mind and I hate our clocks springing forward.  I lose enough things each day; I don’t like losing an hour, too. I especially hate having to change all of my clocks and sometimes the clock hanging high in our living room just stays wrong until we roll back.  Instead, I just walk around for six months trying to remember which clock in our house actually tells the correct time.  This week alone I have complained that I am too hot in bed and not the kind of good hot, but the kind that makes you want to stand in front of a fan naked and hope nobody walks by the door when I am doing it and asks, “when did we get a Shar Pei and why is it standing in front of the fan?” Now I hear our Spring weather is going to turn cold again and once again I feel as if March has pulled the rug out from under us weather wise and likes teasing us and nobody likes a tease. March is also the month my dogs go for their annual veterinarian exams, shots, and the month their yearly pet insurance fees come due.  I almost always open those renewal emails and scream at John, “Whose idea was it to get dogs?  We should have just had another kid.”  See, how I can make almost everything John’s fault?   I really think this is my special super power and while John would say my Super Hero name should be The Castigator, I much prefer The Virtuoso.  Anyways, I didn’t think things through when I got two dogs, both in the month of March, without a thought to renewal premiums and annual exams. 

What was I thinking?

Sure, dogs and kids are cute, but cute doesn’t put food on the table or gas in the tank.  Nobody is hiring stick eaters, bubble bath models, lobster models, or rollers,

and frankly, the only commercial I can see my dogs appearing in is the one where the lady is down on the ground and yelling, “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!”  Put their leashes in the hands of some unsuspecting actor or actress, have a squirrel or groundhog show up, and the commercial will practically make itself.   The kids weren’t much better. We did have one incident where the youngest put a package of string cheese down her pants to solidify the fact that she would not be sharing with the oldest, but who is going to buy string cheese based on that endorsement or hire my food guarding children for the commercial.  I just don’t see String cheese, you’ll be the life of the party when you pull it out of your pants catching on or a string cheese jingle, String Cheese, Keep it in your pants, just be sure to check the expiration date, or you may end up with ants, being much of an endorsement to make you run out and buy a bag.

 

Nope, no income coming in from dogs or kids and even when the kids started working, God forbid you asked them to pay for anything.  My kids were Houdini’s when you got to the cash register with their stuff.  Either they were nowhere to be found when it came time to pay for the stuff they assured you they would be paying for or they would get this vacant look on their face when I called out to them like they had never seen me before.  Trust me, you walk a fine line at a store when you are trying to explain to a store employee that the children you are yanking on belong to you when those same children keep saying, “We have never seen this crazy lady before.  She keeps screaming that she wants us to give her some money!”  I once paid for my own “World’s Greatest Mom” shirt when Hayley disappeared at checkout time and Megan still loves to tell anyone who will listen that since neither of my children thought I deserved that shirt, I had to buy it for myself.   Score another one for dogs…they don’t talk.  Another time, Hayley gave me $6.00 for her item and when I told her it was $6.30 because of the tax, she puffed up like a peacock and said very indignantly, “I cannot believe my own mother would charge me tax.”  Megan had her own techniques to avoid paying after she would get her birthday money. She walked around for months with a new, crisp bill that my mother had sent her saying, “This new bill is too pretty to break? I promise as soon as I do, I will pay you back.”  Sadly, if you weren’t a dumb sucker like me you could see where this was going.  Months later, Megan still had that new bill and a tab with me the size of the US Budget Deficit. 

 

My mom used to say, “money doesn’t grow on trees,” but wouldn’t it be nice if it did?  Every time my dogs needed Frontline or Heartgard, I could go out to that tree and pick a few bills.  New braces for the kids and another trip to that tree, and we would be all set.  Unfortunately, life doesn’t work that way.  Dogs and kids are expensive and sometimes the older they get the more expensive they become.  Yet, I can tell you this, my life would not have been half as much fun without them and if someone came by one day and said they would give me back all the money I ever spent on my kids and my dogs in this lifetime in exchange for the memories and moments I had with them, I would say loudly, ‘NO DEAL.”  Oh, and just to be clear to Hayley, that sum I refused would include the tax.

Addendum:  After our walk this morning, I may change this to say, "SHOW ME THE MONEY!"

[Gem's Jewel]

Laurie you are so gifted and what a fun story. Thanks for the reminder of how fun and full they make our lives...one is getting married and the stress is rearing, another is on the postpartum emotional roller coaster and we volunteered to start this whole ride over! I actually prayed they would settle close to us when they got older...perhaps I prayed to hard, 20 minutes away right now seems very close :) The one who is getting married didn't talk before she was two and I called to ask my dad to pray the day before she had her test, all was good and she just started talking in full sentences, turns out her older sister talked so much she never had the chance to say anything. When she turned 12 I called my dad back to ask him to retract his prayers, perhaps I should ask all of DK to pray they get a virus that keeps them from talking for the next few months. LOL

[Cheryl and Finnegan]

Donna, does your son know my son? Blaming myself too. He keeps telling me he'll take care of me when I'm old. I'm not buying it!  LOL Love your story!

[Bonnie and Kona]

Oh Donna! Precious memories!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Thanks, Michelle!

Nicky, Love that message and how true. LOL Thank you and welcome back. We missed you!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Thanks, DJ!

Joanne, I agree :)

Elizabeth, I hate car expenses :) Hate them...I have a lot of other things I would rather be buying :) Brakes were last month :)

Jane, Of course you did not suck the fun out of my blog :) We all care about you and your dogs and this is the place to share. Hopefully, Murphy is feeling better already!

Sue, I hope you get it all figured out about sweet Lily Grace soon. Hugs to Jane and you!!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Donna, I love that story about your son. How funny and how true about kids. You just never know what they are going to come up with to surprise us. You got so lucky that day. Everyone needs a tiger tail on their antennae :) And who can live without a red Power Ranger? LOL

Sheri, I know....she already hit me up for a diaper bag :) Wait until I tell her, "sorry, no Ugg boots for you!" LOL I just can't wait and a new blog is getting approved as we speak :) You had your fair share of vet bills with the girls.

Thanks, Janie and Jenn! Jenn, Our money tree never grew :)

BG, LOL...I have already told both children, I plan on being a burden to them :) They fight over me all the time....you get her...no, you take her :)  You are exactly right about time and money!

Hua, I think when you work hard for something, you appreciate it all the more. I salute you!! I still hope you get a pair of Uggs someday for Christmas :) Thank you so much for your comment. It is a very good reminder.

Julie, Thank you! I get that all the time about me preferring my dogs to everyone else :) Oh well. LOL I'm a crazy dog lady too!!

[BG and Gavin]

Hilarious Donna!! i remember those tiger tails!

[Donna K & Quincy]

LOL, Laurie this all sounds sort of familiar, except for the string cheese episode, that one is in a memory category all it's own.

I guess the short answer to your question is yes, but some days you do have to wonder.:>) I thought by now with with my son grown and working away from home that he would be totally off  my payroll, not. I don't keep track of money I spend on either my son because it would be too scary to see the number written down. I blame myself for making life too easy for him but what's done is done. I did try to teach him the value of money but that's a lesson that never stuck. I should have seen the future since I did have some warning of how things would go. When my son was 7 he had saved some money to buy me a Mother's Day present. I was at work so DH took him shopping.

On they way to the mall they stopped for gas and the gas station was giving away loot bags as part of a promotion.

As the day progressed my son became the proud owner of a new red Power Ranger.

His mom became the proud new owner of a tiger tail for her car antenna that Esso had so generously provided in their loot bag. :>)

This turned out to be one of the best Mother's Day gifts ever, every time I think about it makes me smile, and memories that make you smile are priceless. 

[Lucy & AnnaBelle's Mom]

I think there might be bad news Laurie ... you have another category coming along here soon that is going to cost you even more money.  I've even been told (no experience here) that once the grand babies come along that the kids get left behind.  All the attention (read money) is now spent on the grand baby and not the kids!  I know that feeling though about vet visits and dogs.   With L&S it was always the same time.  Now I do have mine now spread out a little bit.

[Janie, Jackson and Jilly]

Love your blog and pictures! And yes after all that they are so worth it!

Keeping Murphy and Lily Grace in thoughts and prayers.