Fudge, Alone in the Dark!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

It happened again last night.  John and I were in bed, watching TV, when I heard a funny, faraway noise.  It really is a miracle I heard any noise at all, because the older we get, the louder the TV gets.  At this rate, it won’t be long before we have to caption all of our programs, so the neighbors don’t yell over across the fence, “Hey, stop flipping the channels!  We were listening to that program!”  First, I thought the noise was on TV, but something kept nagging at my psyche and I turned to John and said, “Did you hear that sound?”  Now, I have been married for 36 years and I’m obviously a slow learner, because I have never asked John the questions, Do you hear that sound? or Do you smell something? that he hasn’t answered back in the negative.  Truthfully, I think it is a warped defense mechanism that he has perfected over the years, in case, by answering YES, he has to get up and do something.  I swear I could put a piece of Limburger cheese on his pillow and he would still deny smelling anything out of the usual.  So, of course, last night when I turned to him and said, “Do you hear a dog barking outside?” he said he didn’t hear anything.  Unfortunately for him, the barking dog became more persistent and his irate wife cried out, “Did you leave one of the dogs outside again?” Which leads us to defense mechanism number two…laugh like you just heard the funniest joke imaginable and hope your wife starts laughing and ignores the fact that one of her beloved dogs was forgotten outside and is now barking to be let back into the house. Needless to say, I didn’t join in the laughter.

 

I can also tell you the exact moment John realized that his life was hanging in the balance and he indeed did forget a dog, because it coincided with him leaping from the bed and declaring, “I think it’s Fudge.”  I can only assume he used his great powers of deduction to ascertain which dog he had forgotten, because his frenzied movements had Vern hot on his tail. 

Hey Dad, wait for me, this is fun!!

Sure enough, he had accidentally locked Fudge out on our sun porch, but blamed the whole thing on Fudge, because as he put it, “I called her and she didn’t come, so I assumed she was in the house.” This is the kind of thing that makes me feel I need to get up after John comes to bed and retrace his steps to make sure he hasn’t left the toaster plugged in and resting in a pan of dish water, the refrigerator door open because he forgot to close it after he grabbed a Gatorade, Hayley locked outside yelling, “dad, I told you I would be right back.  Why did you lock the door?” or Fudge and Vern out in the yard playing Twister with all the nocturnal animals in our neighborhood.  He gets irritated with Vern who spends much of the night pawing him for attention, but I wonder if Vern is trying to prove to him that real men stick together and have each other’s back.  Vern must be trying to help him stay out of trouble by reminding him about things he knows John has forgotten to do.  Dad, you left Fudge outside again, I have no water in my water bowl again, I’m not supposed to eat the candy wrappers you forget to throw away at night, I have been sitting here with my legs crossed together for over an hour, do you think you could let me outside or I might have to get mom!  Yes, I am finally putting it altogether and it makes perfect sense, because Vern doesn’t spend all night pawing me.

 

I talk to Megan almost every day and when she called, I knew she would understand my frustration because she has her beloved French Bulldogs. 

God knows if Doc forgot to let one or both of them back in the house, he would either be severely wounded or forced to perform mouth to snout CPR because both dogs passed out from over snorting.  So, I relayed the whole story, secretly hoping that she would finally realize I am the better parent and I would finally win the imaginary race in my head, but I tripped myself up when I said, “Who lets a dog out and forgets to let a living, breathing, human being back in the house?”  I immediately realized my mistake and quickly changed it to living, breathing creature, but naturally, out of my whole story that should have been about her forgetful father and my martyrdom, she honed in on that one line and said, “mom, you do know that Fudge and Vern are dogs, right?” So I said, “That explains why they have so much trouble holding their spoon and fork at the dinner table each night,” and she ended the conversation by saying both of her parents were forgetful and weird.  Of course, in that kind of race, I was able to stop myself before I asked her who was weirder and more forgetful.

 

Back to sweet Fudge standing alone in the sunroom and trying desperately to alert her people that she was out there. 

How can you forget me??

She has such a distinct, high pitched bark and had to have been out there awhile before she decided to use her voice.  I am sure she was enjoying the solitude for a bit, smelling the night animals lurking about, and finding herself free to run from window to window without being blocked by a rather large, cream colored, defensive player.  At some point, she must have realized that the entrance back into her house was blocked by a locked door and probably said to herself, “Why is my owner such a nincompoop?” because when said nincompoop let her back in, she made it clear she was not happy with him. 

The Nincompoop!

She wanted nothing to do with him and chose to sleep away from us that night, which is unusual.  Of course, I hugged her and whispered in her ear, “Fudge, don’t you think I am the better pet owner?” and I could tell by her kisses that she agreed!  Finally, a win for my team.

[Joanne ~ Spud*]

Didn't Fred Flintstone used to lock Dino outside and then Dino would lock Fred outside.. something like that. FJ says it was the cat. Oh, I am so confused.  Anyone have a sandwich?

[Lori, Quincy & Frankie]

Poor Fudge- watch him for signs of PTSD - in dogs it's whatever they do that is naughty- and then blame your nincompoop! 

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Donna, I like your motto and it's true....I found my scissors when I was looking for my glasses :)

Elizabeth, LOL...he probably would have been. It is nice out there, but he came back to bed :)

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Julie, LOL...OMD, I am on my way to rescue Ellie :) The good thing about dogs is they always forgive us :)

Lonnie, LOL...it was a miracle the ears were working :) Several people have pointed out I need to be on the look out for John "forgetting" me :) LOL I watch those shows too, so maybe I had better take heed!

Cheryl, LOL about Finn! I think he knows he hit the jackpot, even if you are on the verge of nincompoopism :) Love that term! I won't even tell you the story about Megan when she was little and I thought I forgot her :) No wonder she moved so far away!

Lynda, Yep...forgetting is exactly that....plus, he was sick this week, BUT I am still the better parent and dog owner....LOL!! I guess, at least, it wasn't a kid at a shoe store :)

Thanks, Nancy!

Ricki, I think you make a great point, which you always do, because you are a genius :) Yes, if I turn up missing, please report John :) LOL Are you really sure your family forgetting you was accidental? OMD...that would only be funny now, not then, when you were standing alone on the beach wondering where everybody went! Glad they came back for you!!

Gail, Vern was sound asleep in the bedroom. He was certainly not alerting us to the fact that Fudge was not there :) That fenced in yard was the best thing we ever did!!

Sue, Fudge and Vern are the first dogs I have ever had that are not Velcro dogs. Our Hershey was like your Bella! I would try and put her outside and she was barking to be let in before I hit the front door. LOL Sounds like Bella keeps track of you :)

[Julie, Eloise & Beasley]

Aw, poor Fudge!  Laurie, you are the better parent for sure. :)  I'm afraid I've joined the ranks of the nincompoops.  Just this week, we had a plumber at the house ALL day, and I gated Ellie in the family room with me at 8:30 am when he arrived.  I forgot to bring her food & water dishes with us.  I was working from home, so maybe I wasn't paying as much attention as I should have - until I heard her heaving around 12:45.  The poor sweet baby threw up bile because she had an empty tummy (which does confuse me, since she often chooses not to eat until around dinnertime, but whatever...).  It was not until then that I realized I forgot her food!  As I finished cleaning up the mess, and was just about to get her food and water - I can't believe I'm admitting this! - the plumber asked me a question, I got distracted and promptly forgot her food, AGAIN!  It finally hit me around 3pm. :(  Sigh, poor Ellie.

If nothing else, maybe this makes John look a little better. :)

[Lonnie & Libby Lu]

Poor Fudge and thank goodness your ears were working:)  Just be careful you don't go out to the Sun Room in the evening!  LOL   Love this and laughed all through it!  Especially the part about "did you hear that sound"?  OMD, we go through that all the time in this house and the sad part is my DH gets mad at me becasue I hear a noise, which I must confess is quite often.  Did I ever tell you my favorite shows are 48 Hour Mystery and Law and Order, well that might explain why I wake him up all night!   LOL

[Cheryl and Finnegan]

Poor Fudge! Laurie, you are definitely the better parent, but I can't fault John too much.  A mind is a terrible thing to lose and I'm afraid I may be on the verge of nincompoopism. I've been known to start out on a drive to VA and because Finn is so quiet I'll have a momentary panic attack in MD that I forgot him.  Lucky he's always curled up sound asleep in the back seat.  I've also gone upstairs with Finn in the dark, closed the door and climbed into bed only to wonder where my foot warmer is?  Patiently waiting in the dark on the  side of the door probably wondering why of all the people in the world, he got me  :(

[Lynda Kamrath]

Ahhh, forgetting just means that you have too much on your mind.  My dad forgot my little sister at a shoe store one time and was upset when my mom realized that she was missing and wanted him to go right back to pick her up (of course).  I don't know what he was thinking.  And then one time we left Barney (our miniature poodle) at a service station in Sacramento.  We got home to Castro Valley before we realized he was missing.  He just got out of the car to take a little walk and nobody noticed.  It was a 2 1/2 hour drive back up and he was just waiting at the door.  The owner of the service station said he just planned to take Barney home with him if we did not show up before he closed.  So it does happen.  Lighten up, Laurie.

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

Hooray for us girls!

[Ricki and Tara (doodle)]

: )