I Bought a Food Dehydrator for Fudge and Vern for Valentine's Day!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

My title might be misleading because it looks like I bought Fudge and Vern a Valentine’s Day gift.  I adore my dogs, but I don’t consider them my sweethearts, so getting them an expensive Food Dehydrator for a romantic holiday seems like something that could get me booked on the Maury Povich show.  I would hate to be the first one in my family that winds up on a talk show discussing with Maury what I think are The Ten Most Romantic Gifts You Can Give Your Dog, because someone read this blog and passed my name along to the producers.  What I meant to say is that my husband bought a Food Dehydrator for me for Valentine’s Day to make Fudge and Vern dehydrated treats.  Now, before you think he is the sweetest man alive, he doesn’t know yet that he bought me such a great gift.  In fact, he might not even know Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. The good news for him is that when he realizes on February 13 that he has forgotten all about Valentine’s Day, I can yell, “Surprise!” and tell him I absolutely love my gift this year.  It also saves him the embarrassment we had one year, when he asked me right before Valentine’s Day if I had gotten him anything and when I told him I had, he yelled, “crap,” which led me to believe that he might be doing some last minute shopping.

 

I have to admit I have gotten some awesome gifts with this foolproof method.  Once, I got a Grandfather’s clock.  In all fairness, I gave my husband every chance to be the hero of the story by showing up with the Grandfather’s clock of my dreams.  I took him to the store and dropped a couple of subtle hints, “that is the clock I want,” and “I am going to walk away so you can buy the clock without me seeing and surprise me,” only to turn around and find him right behind me, following me out of the store.  A few days before our anniversary, I mentioned that I had just read an interesting article that said a Grandfather’s clock was the appropriate gift for the anniversary we were celebrating and he smiled, but that year, I got a beautiful bouquet of flowers, but no clock. Finally, I got tired of dropping little hints and leaving sexy notes in his lunch that read, “Stud Muffin, Get me my damn clock,” and finally, went over to the store and put it on layaway.  When I told him the good news, he said he thought we had decided to wait a while to get the clock, and I reminded him that it was going to take 60 days to get it out of layaway.  The funny thing is, now that we have Fudge and Vern, we almost never let the clock chime, because sometimes, in the later hours, the repetitious dinging wakes them up.

 

So, this Valentine’s Day I am getting a dehydrator, which some diehard romantics could say is a sad reflection on the state of my marriage, but I don’t care, because it is exactly what I want.  Who needs shiny baubles and sexy lingerie when you can get a small kitchen appliance instead? It doesn’t matter that I hate to cook either, because for some odd reason, I love kitchen gadgets and anything that raises my expectations in the kitchen, and this dehydrator fits that bill. Not that this has ever happened or that either dog has ever given me any indication that they have a strong desire to eat jewelry, but stranger things have happened, so that is another reason I prefer my gift to something sparkly. Just think, if Fudge or Vern accidentally swallowed my new shiny bauble, I sure wouldn’t consider it a gift that keeps on giving as I was picking through their daily yard deposits to locate my present.  On the other hand, if they were happily eating healthy treats that I made, that would give me real joy, or as my family is going to say, at least for the few times I use my new dehydrator before I realize that Zukes dog treats are a whole lot less work.  Based on my track record with other small kitchen appliances, some members of my family are already placing bets as to when the novelty of my new item wears off and Fudge and Vern go back to eating store bought treats. Also, I had a moment of panic when my daughter asked if my new toy can make any good treats for human family members and I had to remind her, yet again, that she was setting the bar a little high for her beloved mama, but she was welcome to borrow the dehydrator, as long as I wasn’t making something special for Fudge and Vern.  All she said back was, “good luck getting through the instruction manual without my help.”

 

As for the lingerie, at this point in my life, by the time we figured out how to get it on or off, the commercial would be over and our TV show would be back on or one of us would be fast asleep.  My husband is an avid bird watcher, so I have considered getting all dolled up in the bathroom and attaching a pair of giant wings like you see some of the models wearing in the Victoria Secret’s Fashion show, and sashaying out of the bathroom.  I figure as long as my wings don’t get stuck in the doorway, I could sneak up on him and say, “hey handsome, what kind of bird is watching you now?” and hope he doesn’t say back, “a giant Bearded Screech Owl or Dodo Bird,” because that could be a real mood killer. All things considered, I think the Food Dehydrator is the right choice for me this Valentine’s Day, because I know when he hands me my gift and says, “I have no idea what I bought you this year,” I am going to get weak in the knees, and isn’t that exactly the feeling we are all looking for on a romantic holiday?  

[Lisa, Daisy & Dexter]

Laurie, dehydrating is hardly "cooking" slice and walk away for 15 hours...ha, wish I could do that.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Bonnie, I was hoping everyone would forget that blog...LOL!! Thank you for a very nice comment. I already love your DD :)

[Bonnie and Kona]

I'm trying not to mention an earlier blog where a habit of buying kitchen appliances never to be used was discussed. Hmmm?
My DD is ready for your book to come out, too. I try not to read aloud every single thing you write but your fame is spreading, lady. Someone on DK must know a publisher.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Julie, Thank you for your very nice comment. I will let you know about the dehydrator. I am always excited when I first get my new kitchen stuff and then reality sets in and I think to myself, "Now, I have to do something domestic like cooking. What was I thinking?" LOL We store our extra stuff in the basement....more room than the pantry :) I enjoyed your comment. Thank you again.

[Julie, Izzie & Max]

I always love your blogs and read them first before anything else.  Always funny and entertaining.

 I think I would prefer jewelry or flowers but not candy.  But, I will have to think about getting a dehydrator for making dog treats. It is hard to find healthy dog treats. Let me know, how they turn out.   I too love kitchen gadgets, don't mind cooking but we eat out most of the time now.  My kitchen is stuffed with gadgets and small appliances.  Most of which are rarely used. We have a walk-in pantry that you can't walk in because of my extra small appliances on the floor.  My husband always says we should clean  the pantry out and I always say "Good luck with that but don't get rid of any of my stuff".  When he cleans something out it is always just my stuff that get tossed and never any of his.

It is a very thoughtful to pick out your own gift to spare your husband time and worry of picking out a gift.  I do the same thing.  It also saves time when I don't have to return what they bought.  Although, he has gotten better at picking out gifts that I like.  We have been married for a long time and I have told him not to ever buy me clothes of any kind.  What he buys is usually too small or not something I would wear. Sometimes I think he still sees me as I was years ago..   He knows I would no longer wear sexy lingerie. 

I am sure your husband knows that you are only thinking of him and making his life easier by picking out your gifts.  He is lucky to have you.  Thoughtful and funny.

You are so creative with your blogs.  I will be looking forward to the next one.

 

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Donna, I guess I have super powers. I can make the ads anything I want them to be :)

Bonnie, Thanks!

Lisa, LOL

[Lisa, Daisy & Dexter]

HEY, I got wings (cause I am such an angel)...just not that kind of angel. Ha ha...those days were over 20, 30,years ago, well actually, never a go.

[Bonnie and Kona]

Great blog, Laurie. I totally get this.

[Donna K & Quincy]

Guess what just showed up as the ad on the front page.

Click here for more information

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Are you saying that F and J are smarter than L? Or that the combined F and J IQ is less than the sum of its parts? Can you explain what I just said? LOL I will tell my DD, but it is going to go right to her head :)