I Can't Wait Until Winter is Over!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

I used to love winter, until this winter.  Now, I can’t wait until it is but a dim memory.  My dogs and I have had cabin fever most of this winter because there is no place to go that isn’t covered in snow or ice and some days we have not been able to get out at all.  I am not always able to get my car out in this weather and walking in our field next door is not cutting it anymore for any of us. 

Yeah, it's pretty, but who cares? I just want to see some green!

The campground where we go can be treacherous to walk because the roads have been known to have that dreaded black ice and the snow covers some of the animal holes in the woods.  I know this because I have found many of those holes by stepping in them and I worry about spraining an ankle or worse, toppling over and being found headfirst in a snowdrift by a passerby.  This week we lost power due to an ice storm and our estimated time for restored power was around five days, which is about four days and 23 hours longer than I can stand.  I have the power company on speed dial and the lack of customer service they provide never ceases to amaze me.  First of all, if you can reach an actual real human being and somehow outwit the automated voice that keeps telling you she can’t understand what you are screaming into the phone, it is a miracle.  Sometimes, once I reach a real person, I end up thinking the automated person wasn’t that bad after all and I always marvel at the end of the “basically, we don’t care if you are happy or satisfied,” conversation that they have the nerve to ask if you are pleased with the service you received today.  One of these days, after I go off the deep end, I am going to answer back, “Yes, I love being screwed by a narcissist.”  

 

We were sound asleep the other night and woke up to the ominous sound of our carbon monoxide monitor beeping.  The last time this happened was during the last terrible ice storm we had when John had been away for the weekend and the power went off.  Both times it has been nothing more than a bad battery, but I like to think it was alerting us to impending doom, because within minutes this time our power went out. It flashed on and off a couple of times to give us the illusion of false hope, but then went off for good.  I am a terrible baby when our power goes off and actually feel panicky because here in the boonies it is never restored quickly and we are not only without power, but water too.  Within minutes, I resort to complaining, bemoaning our fate, cursing the power company, yelling at my family to not use the bathroom for any reason, telling everyone we are moving back to the city, and asking John to call for an ambulance because I feel like I am having a heart attack.  The other night when I said I was feeling sick, he said, “It’s been 10 minutes. You are fine.”  Within an hour I was telling him I loved him and wanted him to remarry after I was gone and I was sorry, but I couldn’t live this way anymore and was going to jump out the window. He reminded me that we lived on the first floor, but added he could go get the big ladder if my mind was made up.  Then he told me in the morning when I mentioned I was going insane, that if I felt the need to make a bad situation worse, I should go back in the bedroom and complain to myself.  I pointed out if I was back in the bedroom, he wouldn’t be able to hear me and he was going to miss out on some good points and he said he was willing to take that chance.  After that, whenever he asked me a question, I would say out loud, “hold on, I need to go back in the bedroom and ask myself if I care what you are saying.”

 

When we stepped outside that morning to look around, we were unprepared to find tree limbs and branches all over the driveway and blocking any possible escape route we might have to get away from each other. 

This made for a long morning of clean up, but we differ on who did what.  John said he asked for help, but I was running around taking photographs and I said I asked him if he needed any help, but he never responded.  Now mind you, I had a parka hood over my ears and I could have still been complaining to myself, like I was told to do earlier that morning, so I might not have heard him say he needed help. 

I did all this work! Trust me! Plus I walked over to the neighbors and told them we had firewood for sale!

I do know that when I said, “you are making a huge mess with that tree you are cutting down,” he said he was sorry and thought it would help if I stood directly under the tree with a garbage bag and tried to catch the wayward branches and limbs as the tree came down.  I told him, at best, I was willing to take a few more pictures and yell, “timber” as the dogs and I watched from the doorway

 

I really think all this combativeness is due to timing.  We had not yet fully recovered from my Doodle Valentine’s Day photo shoot and then this ice storm happened.  I had purchased two fake roses and wanted to get the dogs holding one in their mouths with a cute background.  Now, if you are my oldest daughter this is where you would insert your, “mom, you are getting really weird about your dogs and pictures,” comment. I had my vision in my head and it was going to be easy enough to make it happen if someone could hold the rose, off camera, while I took the shot.  Unfortunately, my assistants did not share in my vision and getting them to hold the rose in the correct position was the equivalent of asking them to solve the Rubik’s cube.

Not right

Not exactly

Still not right

Not exactly the look I was going for

or this......

Fudge thought Hayley was playing a game of tug of war and the screaming that ensued by her to get Fudge to let go and Fudge’s expression of determination to continue the game meant Hayley was fired rather quickly. 

Hayley, It's been nice working with ya!

That left John.  Unfortunately, he held the rose so that it extended downward in a rather limp position and never in the picture with any part of either dog.

Not sure what we are going for with this shot....wait, now I remember. He put peanut butter on the stem, but left the jar and knife on the floor, so after this shot, Vern was fixated on the jar and knife and would not look at the camera.  Plus I got to clean up a mess when I was done.

Well, that limp rose caused me to react badly and I started yelling that the way he was holding the rose made it look like it had erectile dysfunction and unless he had a blue pill for roses, to get it up in the position I needed.  He said he doubted the Washington monument could stay erect with my loud voice.  At that point, I tried to rehire Hayley, but things went further downhill when as we were working together I started telling her about a story I saw coming up on Dr. Phil about a daughter who killed her mother and she wanted to know if the mother took a lot of pictures of her dogs.  I can be very perceptive and once I sensed murderous thoughts, I decided a break was the way to go.

Our power came back on yesterday and things are looking up.  Why am I telling you all of this? Because I just wanted you to know that despite the double entendres, thoughts of murder, limp props, verbal abuse, and the dysfunctional nature of our family and marriage, I would still take another day like our Valentine’s Day photo shoot over one more day of snow and ice.  I am ready for Spring and easy shots of two Doodles wearing rabbit ears.

Happy Valentine's Day from some of us :)  All that effort yielded three photos!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Joanne, I am going to need another rabbit :) LOL

Janice, I am so sorry you had Shingles. I hope you are feeling better. Thank you so much. Glad I could make you laugh.

[Janice Jones]

Laura, I am just resurfacing from a bad bout of shingles :-( and I can't tell you how much this post made me laugh, and boy did I need a laugh!
I think the Valentines photos are a great success!

[Joanne ~ Spud*]

: ->. Ha ha hee hee.
Happy Valentines Day to you!
PS: I heard the rabbit done died. Stew or something? John told me that shoot was cancelled

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Lynda, I am glad to hear you are getting some rain. Hope it continues. Awww....I love the story about Hondo the romantic :) Have a wonderful time at the wedding and enjoy the train ride. Thank you, Lynda. I want to see your finished version of Spud!

[Lynda Kamrath]

I love your Valentine's Day photos and the backgrounds.  I have an appointment tomorrow with my computer teachers and I will show them these and maybe get some ideas for what to do with my photo of Spud that I am working on right now.  It is white on white and I want to print it on canvas and art paper to compare them.  Interesting project.

[F, Calla & Luca]

The wedding sounds lovely as does Hondo's romantic moment : )

[Lynda Kamrath]

Same here in California - we just want to see some green, but for obviously different reasons.  Actually the grass is starting to come up after a week of on-again-off-again rain.  Your rose reminds me of my Hondo many years ago when he had a friend (spinone) who he met on the beach in Carmel.  He would do anything, so I had him take her a rose on Valentine's Day and he delivered it perfectly and dropped it at her feet on the beach.  It was a perfect moment.  She took that plastic rose home and it was a great photo opportunity.

Oh, BTW, I am going to a wedding on Valentine's Day at the Queen Mary in Long Beach.  Since we did not want to drive and I am sick of airplanes after last summer, I decided to take the train.  I will let you know how it goes.  These are old friends from high school who are getting married.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Jarka, I could not do it without help. You are very brave to try it without. Oh, and to squat too. I wouldn't be able to get back up. LOL Thank you!

Cheryl, Thank you!! Oh my....your invitation sounds wonderful. I can't imagine those temps. One of these days, you might find me on the other side of your door. Yes, the dogs did absolutely fine. They both love the snow. In fact, that is part of the problem. Vern wants to be outside all day. Laugh away. Humor helps all situations, I think!!

Donna, ROTFL about John :) He does try. LOL What a compliment that you try to get a picture like me. Wow...that made this all worthwhile because you take great photos. Yes, I do like the clean and will soon be complaining about mud. I guess the complaining gives me something to do :) My assistants got the credit they deserved. LOL

F, We are not HoneyBooBoo's family :) I don't want to be June.

Thank you, Marni!

Camilla, Thank you! We do have shenanigans :)

Jane, LOL...I hear you. I keep losing things, so I am done to only a few "pieces" too.

Elizabeth, LOL...thank you....I am getting too predictable :)

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Lisa, LOL...I hardly ever complain :) Mother Nature must be mad at us this year :)

Cheryl, I know....let's run away. I just want my power to stay on...please.........

DJ, Thank you! I should show you the 100 outtakes :)

Gail, Thank you!! OMD...10 days...you win. The most we have been out was after a Hurricane and that was for five days. However, we lived somewhere else and we still had running water. It is the water that gets to me the most. I would love to compare notes some day. I hope you stay saner than I do. Hugs back to Bailey.

Janie, Thank you! Yes, I did get some shots, but my family wanted to hurt me :) Oh well...it's all about F & V. LOL Stay warm!

Charlotte, Oh no....I am so sorry about your fall. I hope you feel better soon. John fell on the black ice a few weeks back and really hurt himself. No fun!! Stay inside and heal. Don't worry...I will complain about the heat too :) Thank you!

Nancy, You can never cheat for a good picture :) Peanut butter is your friend. LOL

Kristy, That would be funny :) Vern does sing. LOL

Thanks, Leslie!

[Lisa, Daisy & Dexter]

Happy Valentine's Day to all of you too!

Sorry for your pain, I will remind you next winter when it's cold and no snow on the ground how you really don't like Winter anymore anyway when you start complaining.

I still Love the Winter but I live in the City and not on the East Coast where apparently Mother Nature has a mean streak this year!

More "Power" to you!