I Didn't Know Fudge was Outside!!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Yesterday while driving, I was listening to Pink’s new CD and knew instantly in one of the songs, she must be singing about her husband.  The song talked about how she loved him, but wanted to slap him sometimes.  Now, mind you, I don’t condone violence in a marriage, but I definitely understand what she was trying to say.  Last night, was one of those “I really want to slap you,” nights.   Vern is back to his old habits, getting me up at night to go out and go potty.  He goes in spurts (no pun intended) and will sometimes go months sleeping through the night and then bam; he has to go out through the night.  Sometimes, Fudge elects to go outside with him.  Other nights, she doesn’t and continues to sleep.  

 

I have long since gotten used to Vern’s bathroom habits and I have come to accept the fact that moments after my husband comes to bed, Vern will come into our bedroom and need to go out.  I have missed the ending of many a show because once my husband hits the bed and turns on his Kindle, the rest of the world ceases to exist for him and that includes a 95 pound dog circling the bed. I used to turn towards John and somewhat angrily ask, “Why didn’t you take Vern out before you came to bed?” but stopped because A) he instantly goes into a self-preservation mode whenever I begin a sentence with why didn’t you and knows to deny everything and B) I didn’t want to go to jail for murder if he responded, “I didn’t know he had to go out.”  

 

It also works best if I am the last one to take the dogs out because since John is the last one to come to bed, it gives me the opportunity to turn out all the lights he forgot about, lock the door he forgot about, fill the dog’s water dish that he forgot about, and make sure no appliance he forgot about is still on.  I have told him on many occasions that if we wake up in the middle of the night to an intruder who got into the house through the door he forgot to lock, the last words he is going to hear before we are killed are, “I told you to lock that damn door.”  In my mind, Vern’s need to go out after he comes to bed may just be God’s way of looking out for us.  

 

Well, last night there was a change in plans and Vern woke us up a second time to go out.  I told John to go back to sleep and I was going to give it a minute and see if Vern fell back asleep, but as usually happens when I speak, John saw my lips move, but was unable to process what I said.  So, he got up with the dogs and in my drowsy state, I made the decision to let safety be damned and to just pay the increased electric bill if every light in his path was left on the rest of the night.  It wasn’t very long and back to bed he came and I was just drifting off to sleep again when I heard a strange barking coming from OUTSIDE the house.   It slowly registered that it was Fudge’s bark and meanwhile, Vern was barking inside the house to match the frantic outside barking.  Now, either my husband registered the bark at almost the same time I did and quickly processed that he had left Fudge outside or he saw the smoke coming from my ears, because he jumped up out of bed like he knew he was a man about to meet his maker.  The thing that really got me was he actually said, “I think Fudge is outside!” like it was one of the great mysteries of the universe.

 

Sure enough, he opened the front door and there was Fudge.  I was hot on his heels and in full panic mode when I said, “HOW COULD YOU FORGET FUDGE WAS OUTSIDE!!”  Breathe, Laurie, breathe!  For the first time in his life, he had also actually turned the outside light off, so poor Fudge was out there in the dark and seemed very happy to see us.  Luckily for him, he had a perfectly good explanation.  It turns out he didn’t even know Fudge went out when Vern had to go out.  Apparently, when he opened the large front door to let Vern out, he missed Fudge walking right by him.  I can’t tell you how much better that explanation did not make me feel.  I think even my seven year old niece could keep track of two dogs exiting the house and reentering….one dog out, two dogs out….one dog in, two dogs in. It sure isn’t Rocket Science. 

 

Fudge came back to bed with us and I like to think she wanted me to know her whereabouts in case Vern got up again.  She let John know he owed her some belly rubs for his oversight and as I was drifting off to sleep, I could feel her paw swinging in his direction every time he stopped rubbing.  I thought about taking her paw and whacking him a good one, but in the end, I was just glad to know my Chocolate Doodle was safe.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Sherri, OMD....Penelope had quite the adventure, but she knew to come back to her wonderful home. I wonder how she got out. I am so glad she is safe.

[F, Calla & Luca]

I am so glad Penelope returned.

[Sherri, Sophie, Winston, & Kitty]

OMD Laurie! you jinxed me! I was just curled up in bed with my book, winston and sophie by my side when suddenly I heard Penelope meowing but it was coming from far away. I thought she was trapped in a closet or the basement or something. I opened all the doors but no kitty, then I followed the sound of her meows to the front door. I frantically opend the front door and there she was on the other side. She just so casually strolled back inside like this was all normal. I have no idea how she got out I've been so careful, checking every time I open the door to make sure she is not there. Plus, the doodles have only gone out the back since earlier this evening when I know she was here. She must have gone on quite the adventure to find herself in the front of the house. She was gone for at least two hours and I didn't even notice :( I'm totally freaked out, but at least now I know she'll come back if she ever gets out again. I'm giving her a new name: Houdini

[Bonnie and Kona]

Yup! ;o)

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Bonnie, Fudge has been sticking close to me lately!! Kona and Fudge know who the smart ones are in the family. LOL

[Bonnie and Kona]

I swear my DH is related to yours. I cannot tell you the number of times I have been in bed and when he comes upstairs and shuts the bedroom door, I say, "Where's Kona?" His response is the same every time, "I don't know!" Kona figured out it is better to come to bed with his DM. 

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Sherri, I had even checked on Fudge and Vern before I went to bed. Little did I know Fudge would soon be outside the door :)

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Donna, Quincy is a good dog!! Our Lab, Hershey, would just wait by the door forever and she never barked.  I am so thankful Fudge barked and didn't take the opportunity to hunt all night. You are being very generous to my DH...LOL!!

Caitlin, OMD. That poor dog. I hope she got fired. I don't like her either :)

Janie, Thank you! Fudge isn't always so good....LOL!!

Lisa, Dead meat...LOL!! Fudge can be ornery, so thankfully she barked, or John would be dead meat, too :)

Carol, I hope F doesn't tip him off. LOL

F, What happens on DK, stays on DK :)

Jane, Actually, Vern has learned to push the deer fencing out and squeeze through, but then he stands at the gate to get back in. It is Fudge that usually runs when given the opportunity. Luckily, she values sleep at night more. Stuart and Fudge better never get together or we are in deep trouble.

Jane, LOL. My mom said the same thing this morning about my DH. How does he function at work? I know your DH takes those boys out, so you are smart to say nothing, but you can think anything you want :)

Karen, JD is a very good dog :)

[Donna K & Quincy]

@Jane, Clueless wonders, I like that. LOL

[Donna K & Quincy]

Poor Fudge, it's a good thing that she barked to get in and Vern being the good watch dog that he is was watching out for her. The only explaination I can come up with for your DH is that he is so excited about the cruise that his brain is already gone on vacation. Of course sometimes I think their common sense is permanently on vacation. Quincy neither barks to go out nor to come in. He doesn't like to be outside alone and if I come inside I usually find him patiently standing by the door waiting for me to let him in a few minutes later. The one time he did get out without me knowing nearly gave me a heart attack. He is never far from me but I thought he was in my son's room with him. I went to check when I hadn't seen him for a few minutes and he was nowhere in the house to be found, that's when I discovered the back door wide open. This door does not lead to the fenced yard. I rushed out the door only to find him in about two seconds happily playing with a soccer ball, he had gone less than 50 feet. Thankfully he is not a runner or a wanderer.