I Survived The Jersey Shore and a Blow Up Doll. The Only Situation We Had was I Missed Fudge and Vern!!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Several weeks ago, I was a Jersey shore girl and spent the weekend with friends and my daughter in Cape May, New Jersey.  We left in a torrential downpour and any attempts to tease my hair like Snooki failed miserably.

It was disappointing to arrive in New Jersey with my own flat hair, but with all the rain and humidity I had no choice.  My one friend was born and raised in New Jersey and has a very strong accent.  She says things like I sir it (I saw it) and so-der (soda) and I know when I took her to Indiana I felt like I was her English translator.  On this trip, we spent about 30 minutes trying to teach her how to say Mocha Frappe, so the guy behind the counter at McDonalds would be able to produce one for her and not be confused by her asking for a Moch-er Frop.

 

My other friend and I both married our high school sweethearts and have been married the same number of years. My New Jersey friend is divorced (this becomes important later) and rounding out our little group was my youngest daughter, Hayley.

Initially, the New Jersey friend wanted to stay at a Bed and Breakfast. I am almost afraid to announce this after the fall out from the coffee blog, but I hate to stay at a Bed and Breakfast. I like a nice impersonal hotel with a comfortable bed and my own bathroom. I love my friends and my daughter, but I do not want to sleep with any of them.  I once got stuck sleeping with my New Jersey friend in Atlantic City and three things prevented me from sleeping well that night, 1) She informed me right before we got into bed that she had not had sex since her divorce and kept winking at me 2) She sleeps like a contortionist surrounded by three pillows 3) She sleeps with pink sponge curlers in her hair and it startled me the few times I rolled over.  I thought about mentioning that #2 and #3 may be the cause of #1, but I didn’t.

 

The other reason I was not keen on a Bed and Breakfast was because I have traveled with my two friends before.  It just seems to me that most people like B&B’s for the calm, quiet atmosphere and are hoping for a relaxed visit. These friends are giggly and more so when alcohol is involved.  Once, my husband even went along on a trip with us to Brimfield, Massachusetts, and he can stand as my witness as to what happens to these two after knocking back a few Sangrias. They get extra giggly and ornery, some might even say annoying.  On that particular trip, I made the mistake of telling them I was going back to the hotel room to watch Monk and they in turn, thought it would be fun to call me all through the show and say things like, “are you a Monkophile?” and then hang up the phone.  During the commercials, I knocked on their wall (they were right next door) a couple of times and each time they would run to the door and we could hear them say, “No one is there. Who keeps knocking?” Is it any wonder that when I told my daughter recently I was out with the Tweedles, but I wasn’t sure which one was Tweedle Dee and which one was Tweedle Dum, she said, “in this case, I am not sure there is a Dee.”

 

Anyways, since I was the one who did not want the Bed and Breakfast, it fell to me to find some other accommodations.  I had reservations about accepting this job, since I still hear about a family vacation we took many years ago in Rehoboth Beach.  I booked the cabins for the Rehoboth Beach vacation and made it clear that they were cheap, rustic, and had no air conditioning. By the time the information was passed down from family member to family member, it was like a bad game of Telephone, and ended up being the exclusive Trump Towers right on the ocean.  Despite that bad experience, I called around and was able to get a small Carriage House all to ourselves, behind a Bed and Breakfast Inn. Everyone in the party was given ample opportunity to search for something better and I did everything but make them sign a release form. 

 

All I am going to say about our little Carriage house is that it was not what I would call fancy and I would probably never rent it again.  I did have my own room, which was a plus. It was private and the only people we could bother would be each other and that meant we would not be evicted from a B&B for making too much noise and that was another good thing. We only had one bathroom with a small claw foot tub that required the tall people (me only) in the group to risk back and knee problems in order to wet their hair and the short people in the group (all the others) to declare it a death trap.  Upon inspection of who was sleeping where, the New Jersey friend declared she saw two spirits in the one bedroom.  We have had this problem with her before and the last time she told us she was psychic, we all became very concerned until we figured out she said psychic and not psycho.  We did not know, until this trip, that in addition to being able to predict the future she could also see dead people. Good to know and I made a mental note to self to find more normal friends.

 

I think for all of us the highlight of our trip was not the shopping, or the scenery, or the cute Victorian homes, but rather the Blow Up Brad Doll we brought along for our divorced friend.

I brought along a hand pump that required three of us to take turns pumping in order to get the darn thing blown up and we had a couple of close calls when the one friend (Brad’s girlfriend) came up the stairs to see why we were laughing.  Hey, I never said this was a mature group. Luckily, unlike a real man, this guy could be hung on a hook behind the door and he kept his mouth shut.  Nothing says fun on a trip like a blow up doll being put in various locations to scare the you know what out of each other and having him pop up everywhere propped up in licentious positions. 

Good times!! Sadly, my friend did not want to take Brad home with her and I now have one partially deflated guy in my foyer. I just know I will come up with something to do with him soon. After all, my 85-year-old mother is coming out here for Thanksgiving. So, there you have it, three friends, one daughter, a lot of Sangria, one blow up doll, a few situations, and lots of rain.  I am proud to say I survived the Jersey Shore and I made it home safely to a couple of happy Doodles.

 

 

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Sue, I wish you had a picture of your "little friend"....LOL!!

[Sue, Lola, Pongo & Hubby]

HAHA. Hilarious!!!! My old roomate and I used to scare the crap out of each other with a small plastic guy with leiderhosen on (don't ask how we got it in the first place).....this went on for the whole year we lived together. SO funny!!! Sounds like a great trip!