Operation DingleCane!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Because of the extreme weather where my sister lives, she has been confined to her house for four days and has been going insane.  Not that I think that is a very long trip for her, but she is bored and on the fourth day decided to paint her bedroom.  She told me she asked herself, “What does Laurie do all day to stay busy?” and then added that maybe it was because I had dogs that I didn’t get bored.  It got me thinking that maybe I am simple like I just described Vern, but I swear I do more than sit at the fence all day hoping to catch a glimpse of the neighbor’s cat.  Yet, the question still remains…what do I do all day to stay busy? 

 

I used to be such a go-getter. When I think of all the things I used to accomplish in one day, in addition to working, it makes my head spin. I was the queen of multitasking and I could vacuum my house while writing out party invitations for one of the girl’s birthday parties.  My house was spotless, my kids reasonably well fed, homework got done, and the dog got walked.  My mom would come for a visit and call me a Whirling Dervish and now, at best, I am a Spurting Dervish. I will have a spurt of energy, accomplish something, and go back to wondering how it got to be 5:00 pm and time to think of another excuse why I couldn’t make dinner.  The other night John got home from work and I told him we had to go to Subway because I didn’t have time to cook that day and proudly showed him my long johns creation I had come up with, all by myself, which consisted of wearing the pajamas he had last seen me in that morning, under my clothes. 

 

It is not that I don’t do a lot each day, but I can’t really tell you what I do.  Lately, I have been putting away Christmas and somehow, by putting up less stuff this year, have ended up with more stuff than boxes when trying to put it all away.  If I didn’t know better, I would think my new Gingerbread smoker got together with one of my Jim Shore Santas and multiplied over the holidays.  I used to be so organized and now, I fully expect to find my reading glasses or half of a sandwich next year in one of my poorly packed Christmas boxes.  Why else doesn’t everything fit back in the same boxes? Yesterday, I thought I was finally done and looked up to see four Santas, my Believe blocks, and my HoHoHo blocks looking down at me from a nook in my foyer.  I didn’t feel so HoHoHoing after I saw them, and I Believe they may stay up there through Valentine’s Day. If John would give up his space in the garage, I would start saran wrapping the Christmas trees at the end of the season and put them away like that, so next year all I would have to do is unwrap them and set them up.

 

Actually, I can account for part of my days and my sister is right about the dogs taking up my time.  In addition to two long walks each day, since I have taken up Photography, I spend a lot of the time photographing them. Right now I am in the middle of what I like to call Operation DingleCane, which at one point involved candy canes and my dogs, and has been a great deal of work and caused me much frustration. I follow several dog photographers on Facebook and loved a candy cane shot one of them did with a dog.  The shot showed the dog looking up through the candy canes with some beautiful bokeh lights all around him.  Since I don’t have a studio, I pushed all the furniture aside in my sunroom, had John help me bring in an outside swing, which only required him to take off three sliding glass doors to get the thing to fit, and hung a backdrop.  John has learned years ago that it is just easier to go along with my cockamamie ideas than to try and explain that a) he doesn’t want to be involved and b) the idea is stupid.  He knows I am “learn by doing” kind of gal and it may be a stupid idea that has no chance in hell of working, but until I give it a go I will not admit defeat.  So, I enlisted Hayley’s help in unwrapping all the candy canes and got on my high horse when Hayley said John had told her the candy canes did not need to be unwrapped and admonished her for taking the advice of a novice over a creative genius, aka her mom, who just happened to see this idea on Facebook.  Well, we unwrapped the candy canes and hung them from the swing and encountered our first problem when Vern began licking them. Since I have never seen anyone in the Food Group mention crushed up candy canes as approved kibble toppers, I kept telling Vern to stop.  He did stop, but only when he thought I wasn’t looking.

Candy Canes!

The Candy Cane Bandit!

Next, the dogs decided that all this hanging and swinging stuff was fun to run through as they wrestled their way out the door and before you know it, I had some broken candy canes. Unfortunately, in my quest for my masterpiece, I missed one of the candy cane parts on the carpet and I now have a stain that I have been unable to get out.  A lesser artist would have called it a day, but I persisted and placed Vern in the middle of all this chaos only to have him stand up and turn around and unknowingly show off a candy cane stuck to his rear end. 

Fudge walked through the photo shoot several times and each time ended up with a candy cane stuck to her, too.  I blame it all on the fact that I did not anticipate Vern’s licking, but John said it had to do with humidity and if I had listened to him and not shrugged off his advice with the words, “this is boring and stupid,” I would have known to leave the wrappers on.  Well, hindsight is 20/20 and after Hayley said, “Mom, you have a candy cane stuck to your back,” and later mentioned that most of the candy canes were covered in dog hair, I decided to cut them all down and declare Operation DingleCane an epic fail.

 

I tried to explain the whole thing to my mother and between saying she thought I had a screw loose and she would never understand anyone with this mentality, I couldn’t help but wonder if Picasso had to put up with all this negativity from his mom.  What’s with the goofy eyes? It’s like you have a screw loose! 

Meanwhile, my sister can paint her bedroom and someone else can have a spotless house, I have dogs to photograph and other things to do equally important.  Just don’t ask me at the end of the day what I did all day, because I might not be able to tell you, but I know it was worthwhile. Oh, and I promise, it will never be painting my bedroom.

If all else fails with your dogs, force your DD to get involved!

Can she still see me?  Tell me when she is gone!

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

Donna, my dh is a good assistant - if I catch him in a cooperative mood; mostly he just gripes.

[Donna K & Quincy]

I am awe that you would go through so much trouble for a photo shoot. I am even more in awe of the fact that you got Haley and John to help you. If I tried to talk DH into something like this he would call for the men in white coats, right after he picked himself off the floor from laughing. My DH is a lousy assistant and seems to think it is all just too funny which really riles me to no end. I have to tell you that I am so disappointed that there is not a single candy cane doodle pic. While the pic of Haley with the levitating candy canes is cool how did you not take a pic of Vern's candy cane butt?

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

Laurie, I loved reading this and it probably will be my favorite - probably because I see myself.  Since I retired from teaching, I guess I retired from doing housework, organizing, keeping the bills straight, keeping my things in places where I can find them, and especially from multitasking and accomplishing much of anything. I  can't figure out why  I have no time to accomplish any of those things any longer.  What do I do all day?  I haven't been unwrapping candy canes or finishing putting the Christmas decorations away that's for sure.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Janie, LOL...you will probably copy my long johns idea now. John was a trooper about the swing. He didn't even complain MUCH :) Get that quilt done. I bet it will be great! Thanks!

[Janie, Jackson and Jilly]

Laurie, you had me with your long johns idea! I keep getting stuck on the fact that John brought that swing in! I must show this to Tom, I'm still trying for St. Thomas over here! I promised myself I would read the manual to my camera, but for the time being it is on hold and I'll have to do my learning through your trials and errors! I had started a quilt years ago (before Katie was born) and it's down to the quilting stage. I am so tired of looking at it that I'm making myself finish it before I get into anything else. So keep your photo ideas coming, I know there's a lesson to be learned at the end of each one!!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Carol, I am so glad you had fun reading all this at my expense :) LOL Yes, many people in my family refer to him as Saint John :) I don't get it. LOL

Bonnie, Yep.....I feel your pain :)

[Bonnie and Kona]

Oh my doodle! Someheimers.....I've got it too!!!!

[Carol and Banjo]

ROTFLMAO!!!!     I'm glad I saved this blog to read AFTER your ice disaster…..I feel much better now.   Laurie, your husband is a saint!!!!!    And you are the funniest woman I know.    The vision of fur coated candy canes will remain with me forever.   LOL!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Cheryl, Yes, you have it exactly right, BUT I also enlisted John's help and he helped :) LOL

Leslie, LOL...OMD...what a great idea. The funny thing is I never thought to take a photo of Vern's stuck candy cane. It wasn't working with the vision I had in my mind. LOL

Bonnie, ROTFL...I do think I have Someheimers. It is like Alzheimers, but only some of the time :) You may have just confirmed my diagnosis. I think the wrapping the tree in plastic is genius, by the way, and wearing your pj's under your clothes saves time. It all seems perfectly normal to me. LOL

[Cheryl and Finnegan]

LOL 

Did I get this right?  You moved all the furniture and 3 sliding glass doors to get the outdoor swing inside to hang candy canes from it?  Sounds perfectly normal to me LOL  (BTW love that last shot of Fudge)