Should I Have Raised Labradoodles Instead of Daughters?

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

 

My daughter moves to Oregon tomorrow. We live in Pennsylvania. I have been alternating between feeling sad and mad about this since she gave me the news. My best friend said she knew I was upset when I lost my sense of humor. I blame myself and my husband. We were stupid. All the while our kids were growing up, we told them they could do anything and be anything. What we should have said is, “You can be anything and do anything within a 100 mile radius of your parents.  If it is farther than that, you won’t like it.”  I really think when they were little, my DH and I should have been whispering, “Always stay close to home,” in their tiny, little, impressionable ears each night as they were drifting off to sleep. What were we thinking?  I mean, why did we spend so much time straightening up after they went to bed, having a little me time, and catching up on each other’s day, when we should have been brainwashing our children to never move to OREGON?

 

Oh, she has told me all the reasons she has to move…a new job and frankly I don’t care. I told her we would be more than happy to have her and her husband and their pets live in our basement and what sane person would turn that down. She asked me if I wanted her to be happy and I felt bad when I said, “If it involves a place called Oregon, I would have to say no.”   She told me after they have kids, she would send them to me for the summer and then laughed when I said, “Make sure you tell them I will be the tall lady holding the sign that says, You don’t know us because your stupid parents moved to Oregon and ripped our hearts out, but we are your loving grandparents.”  All she said was she hoped I got through security with my giant sign.

 

Nobody tells you this when you start to have kids, that someday they might just get a job clear across the USA and there is nothing you can do about it. Dr. Phil and Oprah really let me down on this one. All I heard was to teach your kids to be independent and confident and boy oh boy, did we screw up and now we have an independent & confident daughter on her way to Oregon.  I am writing all this down in the hopes that some of you newer parents can learn from my mistakes. Start the brainwashing NOW, before it is too late. Meanwhile, I am going to start whispering in Fudge and Vern’s ears every night, “Don’t even think about moving or else!”

 

Here are the Stab Your Parents in the Back Soon to be Oregonians:

 

I bet if she knew all these facts, she would turn around and head for home:

 

• In Stanfield, Oregon, no more than two people are allowed to share a single drink.

• It is against the law in Myrtle Creek to box with a kangaroo.

• The hazelnut is Oregon's official state nut. Oregon is the only state that has an official state nut.

• In Oregon it is illegal to use canned corn as fish bait.

• Oregon's state flag pictures a beaver on its reverse side.

• In Portland, people are banned from whistling underwater.

• In Bend, Oregon is a Bowling Ball Garden at a place called the Funny Farm, where you can actually buy bowling ball seeds in the gift shop.

 

 

[Lisa, Daisy & Dexter]

Laurie, well that's how I roll...scare her into staying! LOL

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Ricki, I will tell her about the open hands part....LOL! I am not worried, however, because I just knew the other half of Lauricki would take good care of my baby :)

[Ricki and Tara (doodle)]

Laurie, the budget is a little tight here in Oregon so I am really glad to hear that 2 more tax paying citizens are on their way!!  Oregon awaits them with open hands..er..I mean ARMS!!

 

Don't worry Pat and I will take gooood care of them! hee hee !!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Lisa, Not Salem...she will be in Eugene, OR! I am glad she won't be residing in Felony Flats...LOL!

[Lisa, Daisy & Dexter]

Oh, where in Oregon, cause here is another little tidbit.  We moved to a nice little house in Salem....after we were there a month we found out they called our neighborhood felony flats, felony flats cause 4 prisons of varying types surrounded Salem and the felons couldn't afford to move to far away.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Lisa, I would be scared if I was Nicole :)

[Lisa, Daisy & Dexter]

Laurie, for once I just don't know what to say EXCEPT Nicole better never, ever, ever, even think about moving further than 50 miles away because....I WILL FOLLOW HER, FOLLOW HER WHEREVER SHE MAY GO, THERE ISN'T AN OCEAN TO DEEP OR MOUNTAIN SO HIGH IT WILL KEEP, KEEP ME AWAY, AWAY FROM MY NICOLE.

Oregon is a nice place to visit! I know that is not helpful, sorry. :o(

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Leslie, LOL!!

Anna, It is probably too late :)

[Leslie and Halas]

I live in Illinois, and Illinois has a state nut.  I think Karen is our official state nut.

[Anna and Achilles]

Oh no! I am so sorry, that is truly a bummer!!! Is it to late for me to start whispering in my 22, 19 and 18 year olds ear????