That Time of Year Again!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

I haven’t been on DK much lately, because I am up to my ears in Christmas decorations. Everywhere I look in my house, I see boxes, Santas, angels, gingerbread, or snowmen. It appears as if I have never walked into a Christmas shop without saying to myself, “I need one of everything!”  For some odd reason, all this chaos and clutter only makes me want to go out and see what else is new for Christmas. On Saturday, Hayley and I went to a Hallmark Open House for the Holidays.  I know many people feel it is too soon to start thinking about Christmas, but in our house getting our Christmas stuff up usually happens much sooner than the second weekend of November.  It just makes sense to me since I get company for Thanksgiving and don’t want to spend December working hard to get all of our Christmas up only to take it down a few weeks later.  I wish I could say I just put up one tree and that is that, but that would be a true travesty and a slap in the face to all the Holiday crap I have accumulated over the years.  We are a very traditional family, even though our traditions are not exactly the same as those you see on the Hallmark channel.

 

Traditionally, on the day we get our Christmas decorations down, things go from happy to mad rather quickly.  Usually, I wake up and turn to John and say, “today is the day we get our decorations down,” and he adopts what I like to call his “deer in the headlights” look and says, “no, it isn’t.” 

I always try to warn him the week before, but he still insists on pretending this is the first he has heard of any of this stuff.  This step normally gets repeated several times, before he realizes I am not going to take no for an answer.  At this point, he moves to his “delay tactics” and begins to sip his coffee so slowly that there is no possible way when he gets to the bottom of the cup it is still warm.  I do have to give him credit for his acting abilities as he makes several half-hearted, exaggerated, attempts at blowing on it in a desperate attempt to convince me he can’t be rushed when it comes to his hot coffee.  Sometimes, I say something witty like, “and the Oscar goes to John for his role in pretending Some Like it Hot,” and sometimes I cut to the chase and yell, “MOVE IT!! Your coffee break is over!” 

 

Next, we head for the garage and despite the reminders I have issued throughout the week, it is at that moment when he realizes the garage needs to be organized and swept before he can start bringing any boxes down.  This is just another delay tactic in my book and traditionally it is at this point that I start threatening in a holiday kind of way….”get up in the attic now and start handing down boxes, or I’m going to turn two Christmas balls black and blue.”  Sometimes, if I can locate my Elf microphone I even sing a little, made-up ditty… “Deck the halls with slowpoke’s  balls…fa la la la la la la la la….tis the season right after Fall…fa la la la la la la la la…the next time “hurry up” is spoken…fa la la la la la la la la….an angry nutcracker will be awoken…fa la la la la la la la la!” Keep in mind the lyrics change from year to year, but almost always have nuts and balls mentioned in some threatening way. The response from John and Hayley traditionally remains the same. I usually get one “mom, you are so gross,” and one “I hate Christmas!”

 

The dogs have their own traditions on this day.  The schedule I adhere to with my dog’s works against me on this day.  Right about the time we usually go on our daily walk, Vern starts reminding me that I am forgetting something.  His reminders are not all that subtle.  He either parks his 100 pound self directly in my path, stares at me with a pathetic look on his face, or engages Fudge in a game of “Let’s try and make mom drop this box,” as the two of them run around and around.  They like to include the area directly in front of me or behind me in their loop as I struggle to balance the boxes I am carrying and remain upright, while avoiding the wrestling duo. 

Fudge is much more agreeable to rescheduling our walk, but even she started digging huge holes throughout the yard since she realized my attention was focused elsewhere.  Either that, or she decided burying some of the boxes would speed up the process next year. Traditionally, Hayley complains about having to help and this year, I think it was right about the time she said, “suck it up, it’s Christmas,” when I thought my back had gone out, that I asked if she would mind taking the dogs in the car and run an errand.  Mind you, it was only a trip to the drive-in at Dunkin Donuts, but it allowed me about an hour of silence and a clear shot to the house.  It would have been even better if she had gone to the Dunkin Donuts I recommended in a neighboring State.  It also made all of us laugh as Fudge plastered her face against the back window in a desperate attempt to let me know that she really didn’t like riding in a car with Hayley driving and she would stop digging if I would just let her out.  It tugged at my heart just a little to say, “MOVE IT, HAYLEY! I don’t want to look at Fudge’s sad face anymore.”

 

The absolute best part of this day is traditionally, I look around at all the chaos in my house and putter around for a bit, and then usually turn to Hayley or John and say, “who wants to go shopping with me and see what new Christmas stuff is out this year?” Even though they know it is just going to be one more box to drag down next year, Hayley almost always goes along for the ride.

[DJ & Chance]

ROFL with deck the halls with slowpoke's balls. Will you record that for us :)

[Joanne ~ Spud*]

You make Christmas more merrier for me. Thank you, Laurie. I've been waiting for this annual blog of Christmas leaving the attic and coming down the steps into John's arms.  Romantic absolutely crazy.

[Leslie and Halas]

I'm so glad I didn't fall for your tricks, or I would have been stuck helping you with those decorations.  All while wearing a Rudolph suit!  The only decorations I have up so far are a couple of Christmas photos, but I'll probably put a few more things up next week.  I may go with 2 trees this year.  One real one, and one small, artificial one.  But I'm still way behind your 18 trees or however many you put up.

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

Laurie, you've outdone yourself....“Deck the halls with slowpoke’s  balls…fa la la la la la la la la".   I'm not sure but I think Nicky called you deranged.....just sayin.  Thanks for my "laugh of the day".

[F, Calla & Luca]

Poor Nicky, being accused of sounding like me : )

[F, Calla & Luca]

What can I say. Absolutely nothing except TG I am spared this : )

[Cheryl and Finnegan]

Laurie, thank you for the inspiration! I do love to decorate for the season but I hate the undecorating part!  But I really love the shopping part. Without the kids here, (surgery residents seem to always be on call at Christmas)  I always say I'm not going to put up a tree, but then I find myself dragging everything out :)) Usually a lucky thing, because more than once I've gotten the call - Surprise!!  We're coming!!  And no tree would be such a drama LOL! BTW How could you resist Fudge with her pretty face smashed up against the window begging you to give her a second chance?? 

[Lonnie & Libby Lu]

Good for Hayley, she is a good sport and it always helps to have one more person to carry packages.  Laurie, I can so relate to so much in this blog.  Sounds very familiar, especially the DH not remembering I said this is the week end!  Then comes the clutter! It seems to grow once it is out and in the house!  We decorated last week end and still trying to recover.  We do have our three trees up, two Menorahs, decorations for both Holidays and next comes the outdoor lights.  Now, that one is the deal breaker with my DH, he said HIRE someone this year!!  LOL  We did not forget Thanksgiving and have those decorations up too!  Love your blog and especially Fudge with her face up against the window!  I can just see it!  These Doodles are so into what we are doing!  

[Donna K & Quincy]

Laurie, Bless you and your Christmas spirit. I get the same kind of look in my eyes that John does when it's time to break out the Christmas crap decorations. I can't buy any new stuff due to a lack of storage space but I do love that 4ft doodle that they have at Home Depot. Maybe if I threw out some of DH's stuff I could make room for it. :>))

[cheryl & oliver]

Well I think it is great that you start early, get everything done and can enjoy the holiday for more then a few days, and your traditions of getting things back together and put away is too funny...I am sure that most of the husbands and kids etc. are exactly the same way...Now how would you like to have to do Thanksgiving and Chanukah at the same time? We have to do this this year!!!....It has never happened before, but it has this year, and I am not too happy about it...So we solved the problem, we are doing Thanksgiving on Thursday, and Chanukah on Saturday...I refuse to take away from either, so the house will look a little strange if I can't get the thanksgiving decorations down, and get the Chanukah decorations up we will have both, now that should be something to see, lol...Latkas and Turkey, not my thing, lol...Good thing we have 8 days for Chanukah, but we always celebrate the 1st night witha big ta do around here...should be an interesting time...