The Canine Cleptomaniac

[jen w.]

Anyone who has a doodle is probably familiar with their tendency to "borrow" things that don't belong to them. I've been told by the "experts" who own pure-bred labs or goldens, that "borrowing" things must surely be the "crazy poodle" side of doodle-ism. On the otherhand, at least one poodle owner I know assures me that it couldn't possibly be the poodle side but rather "it's those nutty retrievers, you know"....

Whichever side of Beasley's lineage brought it on, Beasley is without a doubt a very serious kleptomaniac. The tendency began while he was still a pup and continues to this day. Beasley regards anything he finds desirable -- whether on the street, in my home, or on other people's property --  to be his.

On several occasions, incidents have occurred after I've accidentally left the back gate open. By the time I realized it, Beasley was usually half-way down the street. (...I know what you're thinking, dear reader. You are once again pondering the poor training of this dog; the haphazard attempts that must have been made to correct such deviant behaviour!.) Oh, Beasley will come back, I can testify to that --  just not before he's stolen a treasure from some unsuspecting passer-by or off a front porch or from someone's backyard.

Once, I chased him for two blocks before I finally caught up to him, circling a man washing his car. Up jumped the massive doodle, snatching the brush from the poor man's hand. I got him cornered on the man's front porch but he managed to avoid me, and tore off for home. Mortified, I ran after him, shouting behind me, ."I'll get it back for you, sir. I promise. I'll get it back...!" I did get it back.. but not before the wooden brush was covered with tooth marks. The man was nice about it but I got the usual look..(aka.."Lady, that dog needs training:")

On another open-gate occasion, I hadn't even noticed he was gone until Beasley returned with a teddy bear he'd apparently taken from someone's yard. ....I never found out whose yard or the child to whom it belonged. (Nor did I ever discover which neighbour would be looking at us as we walked past their house everyday and say..."so THAT"S the owner...") Whenever I look at that bear, which he sleeps with to this day, I feel a keen sense of guilt at my poor parenting skills!

There are indeed many neighbours who now know Beasley better than they know me. Several have helped in the merry chase up the street over the years. Several more have lost flower beds to his excursions. I always apologize profusely, even offer, on occasion, to replace the landscaping. Mostly, they are polite and understanding -- to my face that is!

The evening after recycling pick-up is always especially fruitful. Often, we return home with paper cups, egg cartons, cigarette packages, cardboard, and once...even a rusty tailpipe that he picked up lying in the gutter.  His mouth full of some piece of trash, we pass other dog walkers, usually accompanied by calmer dogs who carry sticks or balls in their mouths.  I just say, "He doesn't believe in littering!' which often draws a chuckle.

[Anne & Mr. Haley]

When I was a teenager there was a Weimarander in the neighborhood that would steal anything he could carry home.  All of the neighbors knew if they were missing anything from their yard or porch to look on the Weimarander's porch.

[Lynne of Fountain Falls]

[Lynne of Fountain Falls]

this sounds exactly like my golden retriever.  She has retrieved a bird house, one expensive tennis shoe, (which I must admit I disposed of since it was well chewed and I had no idea who it belonged to)a chicken(no bite marks but dead from the shock Im sure) a coiled rope, bike seat, a hammer.  Any time something is missing we look for it in her outside house.  It is amazing what we find in there.  She brought me my 2 gal watering can yesterday.  I always thought it was a retriever thing.  None of the other dogs do it and Ive never had a poodle, which I have three of, hoard things like our two retrievers.  The worst thing she retrieved was my husbands wallet.  It took us two days to think to look in her house. Of course Ive never seen her sleep in this house.  She just uses it to hoard her stuff!

[Linda and Murphy]

Love the Beasley stories.  More treats for Beasley!

[Bonnie and Kona]

Oh poor Beasley! Look at that sweetness pushed out of the forefront. You should be center stage! More Treats for Beasley! MTfB... MTfB... MTfB!

[Jennifer,Chloe & Myla]

Poor Beasley-feeling dissed! I am laughing at this just because I can just picture the scene unfolding! Too funny!!

 

[jen w.]

Hello...Beasley speaking here. I've had the opportunity to read what "she" is writing about me and I would just like to say one thing in own defense...If "she" would just give me more treats, I wouldn't be so needy and and desperate for attention. She brought in another dog, (not a quality doodle like me but a mutt), and didn't even ask me first. Then, she just brought in two kittens...and didn't consult with me either. (I've attached a picture. Notice who ISN'T in the forefront?)  If you agree that I deserve more attention, then maybe you could start lobbying for ;

MORE TREATS FOR BEASLEY! Yeah! Now that's what I'm talking about!

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

I love these Beasley stories.  Our daughter has a Golden and a Lab who on occasion "break out" together.  They always come home with "treasures" and she then has to go door to door to give them back to the neighbors.  Last week it was a large conch shell....she never did find a neighbor who admitted to being the owner.  Keep the stories coming....they're really fun.

[Donna K & Quincy]

Beasley, I don't even know you but I luv you!

[Bonnie and Kona]

Beasley, If you aren't Marmaduke maybe you are Marley of Marley and Me fame. You are a supremely entertaining dood for the whole neighborhood. That's for sure! Owen is also a Kleptomaniac, but we have managed to limit his thefts to our property. The worse situation is for our grandchildren... he will steal anything they have... food, toys, blankets... anything. Screaming ensues. sigh.