The Difference In Observation Skills Between Men and Dogs!!!!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

My title might be a little misleading. Right off the bat, I want to say I am not an expert on men, but I have been married to one for 33 years, so let’s just say I know the difference between one man’s observation skills and my dog’s observation skills. On that point, I am an expert.

 

Recently, while my DH was away on a business trip, I bought a large, new rug for our bedroom.  It had been a long time since we had a rug in our bedroom and our hardwood floor had been bare for quite some time.  Anyway, I brought in the huge new bedroom rug and put it down myself. When my husband came home, he walked in the bedroom, stood on the rug and looked at me and said, “Uh oh, you are smiling. What is new?” and proceeded to look high and low for a change. Meanwhile, Vern came in, immediately spotted the new rug, took some good long sniffs of this new thing, and even executed a perfect roll on it, and still my DH could not figure out what was different. Please tell me how you miss a large rug directly under your feet that is being used by your 90 pound Mary Lou Rettondoodle for gymnastics practice within five feet of you?  He did finally notice and said it looked a lot like the rug we had before. The old rug was a vibrant green and the new rug is cream, but I gave him points for knowing we had an old rug. In our house, dogs are more observant.

 

The last time I had my hair colored, it took him two days before he said anything.  He looked up one day and said, “Hey, I like that color. When did you get that done?” I said in response, “Do you remember that day when I said I was going to get my hair colored at the beauty shop and then later that day came home and announced I was back from getting my hair colored at the beauty shop?  Well, that was the day I had it done.”  All he said was, “ It sure looks good! ” Fudge and Vern knew the minute I walked in the door that something was different and they took several minutes to give me a proper smell test.  I swear Fudge knows just by what outfit I am putting on in the morning, if I am leaving the house with or without her.  On the other hand, I could come out of the bedroom wearing my daughter’s wedding dress and veil and tell my husband I am ready to go out for dinner and all he would say is, “How does Pizza Hut sound?”  In our house, dogs are more observant.  

 

Our biggest fight happens almost daily about the garbage. Taking the garbage to the trash is his one big job. Getting him to do it is my big job. He has spent years perfecting his Operation Trash Avoidance Techniques and is now at the top of his game.  He never admits he sees the trash and is now skilled enough to look you right in the eye and say, “What trash?” even if the dogs are circling it like raccoons and you are standing directly over it and pointing.  No matter where that large 30-gallon bag is placed, he has trained himself to maneuver around it and leave it behind as he walks out the door. I started out nicely asking him to take out the trash and have had little success with that route. I am at the point now where I find myself wondering if I threw it directly in front of him while he is walking out the door, and perchance caused an accident or worse, would it be considered Justifiable Homicide? The funny thing is my DD asked me to write something to read at her wedding and I even referenced taking out the trash.  Here is a small part of what I wrote and read to my daughter and son-in-law.

 

 

 

The second piece of advice is to lower your expectations.  I don’t mean on the big things like who handles the finances, deciding where to live, how many kids to have, or when to let your parents move in with you in their retirement years. I mean the little stuff and here is an example.  If you are always reminding your mate to take out the trash, don’t think because you are now married that it is going to change.  Just keep your expectations low and then you are pleasantly surprised if the trash goes out and not upset if it doesn’t.  It is like going to Best Buy and buying something “as is” and then expecting it to be perfect.  Consider this person you are marrying today to be “as is” and your life will be so much easier.  I am certainly not an expert on marriage, but I will tell you that I have been married for 32 years and our expectations are so low now that we have never been happier.

 

 

My husband kept his poker face on and just smiled like he didn’t have a care in the world.  If he knew I was talking about him, he gave no outward sign. What he did do, however, was wipe a tear from his eye and tell me he loved my speech and was very proud of me when I sat back down.  So, I guess in the scheme of things, I should take my own advice and realize I got a real deal with my “as is “ purchase, even if his observation skills need fine tuned from time to time. Besides, I really think Fudge and Vern might be the better candidates to take out the trash, since they are very good at noticing it the minute that bag leaves the can. Eventually, most of the trash would get to the curb. In our house, dogs are more observant.

 

What does all this mean? Well, I think I put my finger on another reason why I love my dogs so much. In my husband’s defense, he works long hours and comes home tired with a lot of things on his mind.  Grownups have so many responsibilities, but dogs don’t have to go to work, make the mortgage payment, mow the grass or fix the leak in the bathroom. They have all the time in the world to watch you and focus on you, because to them you are the universe. Everything you do is important to a dog because you are everything to them. I like that about dogs, a lot!  There really isn’t any way a mere mortal could ever compete with a dog’s observation abilities. In our world, dogs will always be more observant!

 

[Mimi Linna, Lilly and Lolly]

wonderful,wonderful blog... if it wasn't for lust.. many of us would never have gotten married:)

[Sue Z. + Finley]

I was just at the hair stylist the other day and we were discussing marriage. She has been married for three years and I have been married 28 years. I told her that "men don't change" and don't "sweat the small stuff". When I came home with my beautiful new color, my husband didn't notice the change either. Oh well, what are you gonna do - throw them out with the garbage? No, he's a great guy so hopefully I'll have him around for another 28 years!

BTW Laurie, I look forward to your blogs. They always make me laugh!

[Jane, Rooney & Stuart]

I came into my marriage ( 17 yrs now) - with no expectations as I was a marriage flunk out.  We were starting a blended family with a total of 5 children.  To expect anything would have been a mistake!  Dh is not observant either unless it comes to tools - he might not be able to find his wallet, keys or sun glasses, doesn't notice if I go from blonde to brunette but will notice if you move a screwdriver that he hasn't touched in 6 years.  Go figure.

[Lisa, Daisy & Dexter]

I feel your pain and you JOY, with both the dogs and the husband.

29 years here....and I think the "lowering the expectations" advise is spot on! Like you, we have never been happier.

As usual, thank you for another fantastic blog!

[F, Calla & Luca]

Yes, justifiable homicide. But you do have to like that DH does do all those other responsible things. The world would be a terrible place if you had to leave your hose with the leak, and trash, cause no one paid the mortgage. As I always say "Life is an ongoing series of compromises". And as I always say, to you at least, "Another great blog!"

[F, Calla & Luca]

Oh boy, here we go. OK going to read this blog.