The Dogs Ate My Homework!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Recently, I signed my husband and me up for some local classes in Photography and Photoshop.  I haven’t taken a class since college and have been perfectly happy filling my head with entertainment news and mindless trivia in the meantime.  My quest for knowledge consists of figuring out the plots on Person of Interest and what’s the maximum dose of Advil I can take after a trip to the gym.  Well, class started Wednesday and it brought back memories of our high school days when John knew most of the answers and I tried to use my feminine wiles to get him to give them to me.  Unfortunately, John has finally figured out that I don’t always deliver on the promises made and two of my wiles should upgrade to a 24-hour bra with better support. 

I did know many of the answers, but preferred to wait until the question had been properly answered before I added my nod of approval.  I told my oldest that dad was the teacher’s pet and all she said was, “why can’t you let him have this one thing?” Apparently, she has not been paying attention to her competitive mother for the last 28 years.

 

Another thing I forgot about when I signed us up for the class was the number one thing I always hated about school, a little thing called homework. 

Sure enough, after our two-hour class the teacher gave us our first assignment.  We were supposed to photograph something representing there is no time like the present and here is where the trouble started.  Our daughter, Hayley, has a degree in Photography and she can be a hard-nosed, tyrannical critic when it comes to my thought process and photographs.  She spends hours telling me I think too literally and I am not creative enough.  I spend hours telling her back I just want to photograph Fudge and Vern for the Doodle calendar.  I can show her what I think is an amazing photograph and she will take one look at it and tell me she can see camera shake and I didn’t frame it correctly.  I know for a fact that she can be bought, because John just paid her $10 to go for a walk with me in his place.  Nothing makes a mother and wife feel all warm and fuzzy inside like a bidding war between a husband trying to get out of walking with you and a daughter trying to negotiate for a higher price, before they settled on the $10.  For this reason, I have thought about slipping her a ten before asking her opinion on my next photo, but I can just hear her saying, “compliments start at $20.”

So far, she doesn’t like any of my ideas for my homework and when I told her Aunt Vicki said to photograph a bunch of watches inside a gift wrapped box, you should have seen her nose go up in the air and the highfalutin way she said, “you are both so lame.”  Then I told her I had some great ideas that involved Fudge and Vern and she said, “our school frowned on using dogs for our assignments.”  Oh boy, as far as I am concerned, them’s fighting words, and I said in my best British accent, “excuse me, Miss Stick Up your Posterior Region, for not wanting to photograph fruits and vegetables and discuss what is the meaning of life based on my picture of a turnip.”  I can only tell you photographers can be a bit touchy and this did not go over well.  She then told me to think about there is no time like the present the same as something happening right now.  Based on that statement, I had a genius idea, but she shot that one down, too.  I happened to notice John wearing his “where’s my carrot?” PJ bottoms and I said, “what about dad holding a bowl of carrots, wearing his carrot pants, and munching on a carrot?” and she wanted to know how that related to anything.  When I said, “it doesn’t really relate to anything, but I thought it would be funny for the teacher’s pet to have his picture up on the screen in his carrot pajamas,” she laughed, but thought I should probably keep working on my assignment.

 

Finally, I talked about an idea I had for photographing a bridge, but so far, the reviews have been about as bad as the ones for the movie, Ishtar. 

She didn’t knock my creativity, but she didn’t like my lighting, focus, composition, what I was wearing when I shot the picture, my attitude, and my hairstyle.  I can tell she thinks I am getting better.  Meanwhile, she may not like dog pictures for assignments, but I plan on using the old excuse the dogs ate my homework if I can’t come up with anything good by Wednesday. It sure beats one of my other family member's idea who said to lead off my assignment with a naked photo of me and have John yell out, "there is no time like the present to avert your eyes!" No wonder I like photographing Fudge and Vern.

[Lonnie & Libby Lu]

Whoa! thinking of homework chills be to the bone:(  I took a photography class once with my DH and it wasn't a good match either for the class or my DH and I.  Won't go into details, but if we were graded the letter "F"would come into play:(  My DH and I didn't talk for days!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Thanks, Sandy. So far, still working on my assignment.

Linda, I think you underestimate your work, but I know how you feel. Hayley outshines me in every photograph. I am sure he is a wonderful Photographer.

[Linda, Webber and Seda]

Laurie, thanks but if you saw his work you would realize that mine are snapshots!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Linda, I like how you think! Wow...you must be very proud of your son. Yes, I agree... we did something wrong with these children of ours :) Why can't they just say, "Mom, super job," and leave it at that? I will never stop photographing my two favorite subjects...Fudge and Vern :) Thank you!! Your work is lovely. I don't care what your son says...LOL!!

[Linda, Webber and Seda]

Great blog Laurie! I have a son with a Photography degree from Parson's School of Design, Paris. He says that my most creative photographs are merely "snap shots" and always has a lot to say about what I didn't do right. Obviously I didn't raise him right if he feels so free to give me unsolicited advice!! I say photograph what you love and don't listen to the younger generation!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Bonnie, Thank you! So far, I have nothing that great to show for lots and lots of pictures. Oh, I am going to beat him...have no doubt :) LOL

Leslie, Thank you! Maybe I will just do as you say :) I could always post a picture of me doing a burpee! LOL

Deanna, Thank you! So far, we are still speaking to each other :) LOL

Thanks, Nina!

Jane, Why don't I listen to you?? LOL Maybe I can catch John sleeping :)

Sheri, I do think I should just ignore said daughter :) Your idea of a bath is good because Vern rolled in something this morning and stinks to high heaven. Of course, he did it on the day I had just Frontlined him, so I could only wash the stinky area. In fact, this may be a perfect idea! I hear you loud and clear about the engineers. I think so differently than John and understand about 1/4 of what he says. LOL

Lori, Thank you! I basically did all dog pictures. LOL I never listen to my DD :)

Karen, I feel the same way as you. I would rather look at a dog picture than any other picture :) I am rebel....I am not listening to any of them :) Thanks for your support!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Carol, I would be happy to send her to you. I would just like one compliment from her before I die :) LOL Thank you!!

F, Plus, I am not even sure I have Person of Interest all figured out :) I admire you for even trying to teach yourself Photoshop with an online course. I need someone to help me in person, just not Hayley :) You can do it!!

Jane, I will ask him. He has a "nice balls" one, too :)

[Bonnie and Kona]

I hope you will be posting your homework for these classes. I can't wait! Considering your penchant for competing, I'm very impressed that you are willing to take a class with your husband. Hope you "win" this one, too.

[Leslie and Halas]

Your blogs prove that you are very creative. Maybe for one of your assignments, you can just take a picture of one of your bogs.
I love learning, but I'm happiest doing it at my own pace. No more homework for me.

[Deanna & Desi & Cori]

No classes, no assignments, no homework - not for me at this stage of life.  And certainly NOT with my husband!!!  I used to have a razor sharp memory, but no more.  Now, my memory is more like a rusty old razor blade that can't even cut paper.  And I would certainly not take a class that required any creativity and artistry!  Even in my prime, I lacked those skills.  But more power to your, my friend - there's no time like the present!!!