The Frenchies Came Back!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

The Frenchies came back on Labor Day weekend!  They arrived with my grandson and his parents and are the price we have to pay if we want to see our grandson.  I love these little guys, but can honestly say that people who have four dogs are nuts.  It seems to me as if everyone in the house is free to move around freely, except me.  If I so much as move to get a drink, I have four dogs following me into the kitchen to see what I am doing.  We are also the people voted most likely to sleep with the bulldogs and in fact; both of their owners have placed them in our bed and walked away.  John and I have spent three nights hanging off the sides of our bed because Fudge has commandeered the majority of the bed and made it clear the Frenchies had better not brush up against her.  She has the ability to expand her 50-pound self to twice her size to make sure that she is the only one sleeping comfortably in the bed.  Unfortunately, the Frenchies are slow to take a hint that they should sleep in another bed and seem able to adapt to what little space is left for the rest of us.  Bonzai perches on the far corner of the bed in John’s foot area, so that John’s foot area becomes the air space next to his side of the bed.   Jazz likes to sleep under the covers glued to my hip so I wake up every hour or so having a hot flash.  The more I move away from him, the more space I give up on my side of the bed as he just moves closer.  The other night I was moaning in bed and John asked if there was anything he could do to help me and I yelled back, “yes, get me a bed pan before I wet the bed!”  When he mentioned that we had indoor plumbing, I told him I was not getting up because then I would have to take all four dogs out and all he said was, “would a cork work?”

 

I will say this visit has gone better than the Christmas visit, when Bonzai and Fudge seemed to be jockeying for head dog position.  It is clear now Fudge has won, but back then, we had some tussles.  One of the most memorable ones was when we had Doc’s family over for a visit. Doc’s family are not dog people and nothing convinces non dog people they have made the right choice like two dogs fighting in front of them.  Here we were trying to entertain company and Jazz was barking at everyone, Bonzai was purposely poking the Fudge bear, and Fudge was emitting growling noises from deep in her belly, and I was alternating between asking our company if they needed anything else to drink and yelling at John to do something.   By the time John registered that I was talking to him and expected him to do something, it was almost always too late, mainly because John has two gears….slow and slower.  Megan spent most of Christmas vacation telling everyone Fudge was a bully and I spent most of the Christmas vacation telling everyone her dogs were instigators.  We did learn one valuable lesson and that would be not to entertain until the pack order has been established.

 

Mostly what goes on during a visit from the Frenchies is the Frenchies start humping each other whenever anything sets them off.  This could be nothing more than someone laughing too loudly, walking them in public, Vern barking, or a dog appearing on TV.  It seems to be their favorite pastime, although licking each other would have to be a close second.  God forbid you say anything to Megan like, “I hope they don’t head down to Kentucky and have Kim Davis squash their dreams of trying to get a marriage license,” because she puffs all up and says to leave them alone.  I am all for leaving them alone, but they carry on right in front of us without a clue as to proper decorum and I think that allows me the right to voice an opinion.   I do have to be careful though, because when I mentioned that Jazz was getting a little too fluffy to be humping anything and if it didn’t stop poor Bonzai would soon be starring in Brokenback Mountain, Megan got a little defensive and said something about fluffy know it all pots calling the dog black. 

 

Most of the time the Frenchies seem to really annoy Fudge.  The few times we take them all for a walk, their heavy breathing makes her jump this way and that way to avoid them.  If they venture into her imaginary boundaries she has set up in her mind she will let them know with a low growl that they had better move over.  It’s kind of the way I feel in a movie theater when someone sits too close to me when the whole row is empty.  I really can’t fault Fudge because they are loud on a walk and I think that heavy breathing reminds her of some of their more unpleasant habits. (see above paragraph) Vern is mostly oblivious to life around him, but he can’t figure out how to play with these tiny creatures. He will swat at them with his paw and then lie down on his bed like it is all too much for him. Fudge monitors all of the play and we call her the “fun killer”, but the funny thing was John left once and took Vern on a walk and out of the equation and Fudge starting engaging with the Frenchies and play bowing.  We were all so shocked and even the Frenchies looked at her like, “is this some kind of a trick?”  We have come to the conclusion that Fudge thinks Vern is all hers and doesn’t like to share him.  

 

With all of this commotion, you would think I wouldn’t love when they come, but you would be wrong. Something about those scrunched up little faces and their love of life is infectious.  Sure I tell Archer to come back sometime without his posse, but I don’t mean it.  I love those little goofy dogs and love to tease Megan about her choice of dogs more.  She still thinks those gas discharging, heavy breathing, can’t jump on or off anything without assistance, snorting, wheezing, with faces only a mother could love dogs are better than Doodles, but we know differently.  Just be careful what you say to her because the last time I said, “Do you think people really start to look like their dogs, because I think Doodles are beautiful?” she said, “if you mean ungroomed and unkempt like Vern, then the answer would be yes,” and she was looking at me and laughing when she said it.  See what I mean? 

The Things I have to put up with to see this kid :)

[Cheryl and Finnegan]

Pork Chop!!!  I love it! ROTFL

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Karen, I guarantee these two would win your heart. They really are so lovable, but I just can't resist teasing Megan about them. I will say sometimes when Vern is bugging me for another walk, I think about those two slugs Frenchies who don't seem to require much of anything except a bed :)

F, Yes, Megan is a real hoot and mostly at my expense....NOT :) LOL....I still lift Fudge up there too. I have even seen Saint John lift them up on the bed. Thank you!!

[F, Calla & Luca]

I love to read about the Frenchies visits. It makes me grateful that my sons' dogs prefer to sleep with them if they come for an overnight. I never thought how strange it was that dogs who can't jump on your bed end up there but now I know the secret. Once again John is a saint and I guess the adorable Archer is worth it. Megan does have some great lines.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

To see that gorgeous child, even I would put up with Frenchies, I guess. But I'm with Jane, they wouldn;t be sleeping with me.

A year ago, we had no Frenchies in our neighborhood. We now have 5 of them within a 2 block radius. They have apparently replaced English Bulldogs as the trendy dog du jour. JD is not quite sure what to make of them; I think he thinks they are some new kind of rabbit. :)

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Cheryl, Thank you! I almost got a Frenchie from the same litter as Bonzai. I do love them. My Frenchie would be named Pork Chop :) 

Jane, Thank you! What can I say? I am a softie and when they stare at me to get up on the bed, I put them up there :) LOL

[Cheryl and Finnegan]

Archer is so adorable and your collage is wonderful. So many cute expressions.  But 4 dogs and one toddler together would have me on edge so my hat's off to you.  2 toddlers and 2 dogs works best for me - add one more and all heck breaks loose :) I guess there won't be a Frenchie named "Arnold" in your future.

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

I LOVE this little guy....the pictures are priceless.  The "humping Frenchies" are probably a small price to pay to spend time with this beautiful boy.  I will admit though that they would definitely NOT be sleeping with me.